The Magic Café
Username:
Password:
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » The newest thing in childbirth... (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

kcg5
View Profile
Inner circle
who wants four fried chickens and a coke
1875 Posts

Profile of kcg5
http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=6569030


Makes me look forward to helping..
Nobody expects the spanish inquisition!!!!!



"History will be kind to me, as I intend to write it"- Sir Winston Churchill
stoneunhinged
View Profile
Inner circle
3079 Posts

Profile of stoneunhinged
That's all new-age crapola to try to turn men into some kind of sissies who fan their wives with palms and feed them seeded grapes, only to feel like they've done something wrong when she starts SCREAMING in pain. So the women feel cheated and the men feel inadequate--all because of some silly TV report.

Here's what they left out: sure, some--maybe even many--women might feel moments of physical pleasure. But there is no way that more than one in a million is going to spend ten to fifteen hours in a state of constant ecstasy and sexual arousal during childbirth. Bah humbug.

Here's what happened to me:

My wife and I did the whole childbirth preparation stuff--taking a course, practicing exercises, picking out small comfortable hospital with hot tubs and stuff.

After about an hour at the hospital, however, she kicked me out of the room. I waited outside with a deck of cards to entertain myself until the last ten or fifteen minutes.

Now, what I saw during those ten or fifteen minutes was the most powerfully interesting, moving, emotionally wonderful period of my life; and it was more my wife,too.

But she wasn't getting physical pleasure from it, that's for sure. Maybe relief when he was out and laying on her belly. But nothing like that first woman in the video.

I was so stunned they asked me three times if I wanted to cut the cord. Like I cared at that moment about some stupid ritualistic "involvement". I cut the darn cord and went back to staring at my new son. Those little bitty hands are BEAUTIFUL on newborns. They aren't pudgy like they get during the next couple of days. They look like miniature adult hands. Way cool.

Enough of that. People might think I can get sentimental about some things.

My advice to all future magician fathers: don't forget your cards on that big day. You might spend most of the time out in the hallway.
Magnus Eisengrim
View Profile
Inner circle
Sulla placed heads on
1064 Posts

Profile of Magnus Eisengrim
Quote:
On 2009-01-04 14:29, stoneunhinged wrote:


I was so stunned they asked me three times if I wanted to cut the cord. Like I cared at that moment about some stupid ritualistic "involvement".



I wasn't given this "opportunity" for our eldest, and like Jeff, I was completely stunned when passed the scissors for the second. I felt somehow that I was in the middle of a huge condescension that was ruining an otherwise beautiful moment.

When I did cut the cord, I was amazed at how tough it was, almost like cutting a garden hose. Yet another amazing bit of our biology.

But in the end, I really would have preferred that the doctor had done all the cutting himself.

John
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats
evolve629
View Profile
Inner circle
A stack of
3838 Posts

Profile of evolve629
Quote:
On 2009-01-04 14:35, Magnus Eisengrim wrote:
Quote:
On 2009-01-04 14:29, stoneunhinged wrote:


I was so stunned they asked me three times if I wanted to cut the cord. Like I cared at that moment about some stupid ritualistic "involvement".



I wasn't given this "opportunity" for our eldest, and like Jeff, I was completely stunned when passed the scissors for the second. I felt somehow that I was in the middle of a huge condescension that was ruining an otherwise beautiful moment.

When I did cut the cord, I was amazed at how tough it was, almost like cutting a garden hose. Yet another amazing bit of our biology.

But in the end, I really would have preferred that the doctor had done all the cutting himself.

John

The toughness of the cord like a garden hose is due to Wharton's jelly exposed to temperature change.
One hundred percent of the shots you don't take don't go in - Wayne Gretzky
My favorite part is putting the gaffs in the spectators hands...it gives you that warm fuzzy feeling inside! - Bob Kohler
kcg5
View Profile
Inner circle
who wants four fried chickens and a coke
1875 Posts

Profile of kcg5
Childbirth is something I hope to see one day.
Nobody expects the spanish inquisition!!!!!



"History will be kind to me, as I intend to write it"- Sir Winston Churchill
evolve629
View Profile
Inner circle
A stack of
3838 Posts

Profile of evolve629
Quote:
On 2009-01-04 14:53, evolve629 wrote:
Quote:
On 2009-01-04 14:35, Magnus Eisengrim wrote:
Quote:
On 2009-01-04 14:29, stoneunhinged wrote:


I was so stunned they asked me three times if I wanted to cut the cord. Like I cared at that moment about some stupid ritualistic "involvement".



I wasn't given this "opportunity" for our eldest, and like Jeff, I was completely stunned when passed the scissors for the second. I felt somehow that I was in the middle of a huge condescension that was ruining an otherwise beautiful moment.

When I did cut the cord, I was amazed at how tough it was, almost like cutting a garden hose. Yet another amazing bit of our biology.

But in the end, I really would have preferred that the doctor had done all the cutting himself.

John

The toughness of the cord like a garden hose is due to Wharton's jelly exposed to temperature change.
One hundred percent of the shots you don't take don't go in - Wayne Gretzky
My favorite part is putting the gaffs in the spectators hands...it gives you that warm fuzzy feeling inside! - Bob Kohler
daffydoug
View Profile
Eternal Order
Look mom! I've got
14063 Posts

Profile of daffydoug
The day my first daughter was born, is FOREVER etched in my memory...
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
Magnus Eisengrim
View Profile
Inner circle
Sulla placed heads on
1064 Posts

Profile of Magnus Eisengrim
Quote:
On 2009-01-04 14:53, evolve629 wrote:
Quote:
On 2009-01-04 14:35, Magnus Eisengrim wrote:
Quote:
On 2009-01-04 14:29, stoneunhinged wrote:


I was so stunned they asked me three times if I wanted to cut the cord. Like I cared at that moment about some stupid ritualistic "involvement".



I wasn't given this "opportunity" for our eldest, and like Jeff, I was completely stunned when passed the scissors for the second. I felt somehow that I was in the middle of a huge condescension that was ruining an otherwise beautiful moment.

When I did cut the cord, I was amazed at how tough it was, almost like cutting a garden hose. Yet another amazing bit of our biology.

But in the end, I really would have preferred that the doctor had done all the cutting himself.

John

The toughness of the cord like a garden hose is due to Wharton's jelly exposed to temperature change.


I had to look that up. Very cool. It appears that our (well, female) marvelous bodies provide a chemical clamp on the umbilical chord. Thanks, Evolve. This is another wow moment courtesy of the nicest NOTS.

John
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » The newest thing in childbirth... (0 Likes)
[ Top of Page ]
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2020 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved.
This page was created in 0.14 seconds requiring 5 database queries.
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café
are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic.
> Privacy Statement <

ROTFL Billions and billions served! ROTFL