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Eddini_81976 Inner circle 2183 Posts |
"Spanking" (I wrote this 5 or so years ago.
It's just wrong. It teaches kids that hitting is okay, and that's a way to get what they want. I was beat with a belt, switch, cord, hand, paddle...ECT. Now do I think I was abused? No, because my parents did all they knew. Psychologists, such as Dr. Phil...and many others say it's bad too. I'm also Christian. In the bible it says, Spare the rod spoil the child... The rod means a sheparding stick to guide. It means GUIDE your kids. Yes spanking might give short term results, but it's bad long term. As a kid it just ****ed me off MORE. I believe in being strict, don't get me wrong. Time-Outs, Groundings, and taking stuff away, work BEST. 90% of people in Prisons, and those with mental problems were spanked. Abuse to me. The STUDIES clearly state that. Now, on the other extreme those without discipline, are in jails everywhere. Notive I said discipline, NOT SPANK. If I EVER saw someone hit their kids, I'd report them IMMEDIATELY. We are to protect kids. Hitting them makes them fear us too. Yes plenty were raised that way and wound up fine. BUT, LOTS of others too are in prison for murder. Kids need consistent discipline, BUT THE RIGHT WAY, Ed, (Eddini), C.H.
"Treat Others As You'd Want To Be Treated" - Jesus Christ
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Pakar Ilusi Inner circle 5777 Posts |
I agree...
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
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Eddini_81976 Inner circle 2183 Posts |
Awesome. Ed, (Eddini), C.H.
"Treat Others As You'd Want To Be Treated" - Jesus Christ
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Harlequin Special user Melbourne, Australia 686 Posts |
I agree, you should never hit kids...it's much easier to kick them so you don't have to bend down.
I have children and I can say that I've never struck them in anger.....it's sheer pleasure for me. I'll be here all week, enjoy the veal. To be serious though, I have two young kids with a third on the way and although they can truly test my patience I'd never strike them in any way. If I ever felt my anger with their behaviour rising to danger levels I'd leave the room until I've calmed down enough to deal with the situation maturely (probably only occurred 1 or 2 times in the 3 years I've had kids). In my opinion if you've resorted to actually smacking or beating your kids with something, then not only have you lost control of the situation, but you're weak and cowardly. I should specify that I'm talking about children here. Some late teenagers could do with a good belt around the ear. |
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Eddini_81976 Inner circle 2183 Posts |
Nice humor. I use spanking humor (check out my vids), I think if you are really for or against something it comes out either in humor or serious talk, mine comes out in humor though as you know I'm against it unless it's two consenting adults then that's different 0_-. I agree with all other stuff you said too. Cool, Rock On, Ed, (Eddini), C.H.
"Treat Others As You'd Want To Be Treated" - Jesus Christ
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LLL Inner circle 1574 Posts |
I'm against kids hitting thier parents.
Harlequin - I agree with what you say about parenting. A lot of parents that I deal with don't think that thier children should even have to do detentions when they have done wrong in school. It is the weakness and lack of proper parenting skills that lead to children losing control and escalating. Like you said, if you resort to smacking your child instead of working through problems with them, then what are they actually learning?
The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words.
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Eddini_81976 Inner circle 2183 Posts |
Oh yes I agree with that. Parental abuse has gotten big. Just watch some of the talk shows you'll learn, about it and see it, Ed, (Eddini), C.H.
"Treat Others As You'd Want To Be Treated" - Jesus Christ
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Carrie Sue Veteran user Auburn, MI 332 Posts |
Spanking should only be used in a judicious way, never in anger, and only in response to willful defiance.
Sometimes the application of the board of knowledge to the seat of learning is enough to sear the understanding of right and wrong into a young brain. I've got enough examples in my family to prove that, and none of us were abused. Carrie |
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Dannydoyle Eternal Order 21219 Posts |
Time out LOL. That was when my dad's arm got tired of hitting me.
Tell ya what. Where is the middle ground? See if you do things right from the start, in general you will not have to use such punishments. In general this is true. BUT there are rare occasions where a tap across the bottom is not a horrible thing, provided it is not done in anger, it is done to teach concequences. This is not a lesson which needs to be repeated weekly or daily by any means. If it is, THE PARENTS skills are what are in question. Hitting "with" something should be aggrevated assault and reported immediatly. Oh and the idea that "it was all they knew" is not a defense.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus <BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell |
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Ken Northridge Inner circle Atlantic City, NJ 2392 Posts |
Edinni,
Do you have children?
"Love is the real magic." -Doug Henning
www.KenNorthridge.com |
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Eddini_81976 Inner circle 2183 Posts |
No sadly, I want them dearly. I want a wife too. I've wanted a wife and kids since I was in my late teens, yes and being a male I'm real maternal. The reasons for some of me severe depressions is due to not having a mate. It's hard though as my church has no singles group, I'm not into bars and clubs and am very much a homebody, Ed, (Eddini), C.H. ... ...
"Treat Others As You'd Want To Be Treated" - Jesus Christ
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Justin Style Inner circle 2010 Posts |
Mrs Pegalt, Grade school Gym teacher: "I'll give you a belt right in the teeth."
Mr Norris, World Geography (6'5"): Famous for his Norris Heart punch and the Head-desk slam. (If you dozed off in his class, he would walk up to you and slam your head into the desk. Mr. Sitismo, High school Gym teacher and football coach: "Style, if you don't give Doyle a Forearm to the side of his head I am going to give you one." Just three teachers I can think of off the top of my head... |
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Eddini_81976 Inner circle 2183 Posts |
No sadly, I want them dearly. I want a wife too. I've wanted a wife and kids since I was in my late teens, yes and being a male I'm real maternal. The reasons for some of me severe depressions is due to not having a mate. It's hard though as my church has no singles group, I'm not into bars and clubs and am very much a homebody, Ed, (Eddini), C.H. ... ...
"Treat Others As You'd Want To Be Treated" - Jesus Christ
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Ken Northridge Inner circle Atlantic City, NJ 2392 Posts |
As a father of 2 boys and 3 stepdaughters you can’t imagine how I’ve struggled with this issue. When it comes to parenting I’ve been to one extreme to the other and then back again. And through all I’ve learned and experienced, I still don’t know the answer.
I find it curious, Eddini, that you have no children and yet you are so sure you know how to be a parent. There are so many things about life that we can sit back and SAY what the right thing to do is, but many times it is more difficult to do the right thing when YOU have to make the decision.
"Love is the real magic." -Doug Henning
www.KenNorthridge.com |
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GlenD Inner circle LosAngeles, Ca 1293 Posts |
Spanking is an effective method and sometimes the only one that will achieve a result. It is kind of the last resort for the kids when they flat refuse to respond or become blatantly defiant (IMO). You can see the results of all this "don't spank the children" rhetoric everywhere you look. I mean kids today, for the most part, are unruly and extremely disrespectful at ages as young as 1 1/2 or 2 and it gets much much worse from there. Obviously there are different types and levels of spanking or even swatting. A toddler can use a swat now and then if it is called for but I am aware that doing so in any public place is very risky these days. But I find it ridiulous when your out somewhere, say a market, and this poor lady or overwhelmed dad is trying to rationalize or have this weird conversation with a kid that is clearly out of control yelling for what they want or whatever when what they need is to be escorted out and dealt with away from the environment and whatever is causing them to flip out. The situation we are in is very complex and is a result of many factors. Couples that decide to have kids, have some tough choices to make. Unfortunately finances have a lot to do with those choices, so you have to decide what kind of lifestyle you are willing to live with and what sacrifices to make to balance everything out. I have two teenagers now (15 y/o son and 17 y/o daughter). I cant remember the last time I spanked either of them and I can honestly tell you that they are wonderful kids. I remember hearing the horror stories from couples 10 years or so older than us who were having awful times with their teens and how bad it gets at that age etc. That plus knowing what a troublemaker and party animal I was when I was going through my teens, I was pretty worried about how things might wind up. But my son is my best buddy, he still enjoys hanging around me and doing stuff with me (I havent become an embarassment to him yet) HaHa... We remain very close and talk about everything, it's really cool. My daughter is just as close to her mom as my son is to me and I have a great relationship with her as well. The thing is we never qualified for a home, my wife stayed home from the time our oldest started kindergarten. They have had their mom home for as long as they can remember. I have always been able to work close to home (within 15 minutes) and now I work 4 blocks from where we live. My time is therefor maximized (lots more opportunities for heavy spanking.... j/k). The thing is they havent had to do weird crap for attention. They know they are important to us and loved. I don't take credit for the way they have turned out, I sometimes marvel but I do give credit to the fact that they both have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ that is their own. We also raised them in church and they have that as their foundation along with what we try to provide them with. I grew up without a father from the time I was 9 and had very little to no supervision growing up. I basically had no experience to draw from except negative crap so my aproach was to be there and show them as much love and attention as I could as their father. But we did spank a few times or swat now and then when behavior warranted it amd sometimes it is warranted or even necessary but not in anger (I totally agree with that).
GlenD
"A miracle is something that seems impossible but happens anyway" - Griffin
"Any future where you succeed, is one where you tell the truth." - Griffin (Griffin rocks!) |
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gsidhe Inner circle Michigan 1725 Posts |
Quote:
On 2009-01-19 10:02, Carrie Sue wrote: If you can't communicate wrongdoing to your children without the use of physical force, you are doing something wrong yourself. If they are too young to communicate with, then they aren't going to understand why the heck you are hitting them anyway. I do not, have not nor will I ever spank or hit my kids in any way. We talk. I find out what they were doing, why they were doing it, what they were trying to achieve and what the expected results were. There is punishment (Time out, taking away things, loss of privliges, etc...) but it is talked out and explained what they need to do in order to get back what they lost. My kids are not spoiled little brats that run amok in stores, they are not bullies at school, they do not get every thing that they want. They do not throw temper tantrums when they do not get their way. They don't hit each other or other kids. People comment all the time about how polite my children are. Sitters tell me how easy my kids are to watch. Strangers tell me how sweet my kids seem. Yeah...my way takes longer than a good swat or two (or more from what I have gathered from other posters) on the rear with a hand, belt or paddle. I like the results better. Less screaming and tears, more communication and understanding. Shouldn't that really be what we are looking for? And Carrie...I am glad that the spankings that you received didn't costitute abuse or mess you up as an adult. Good to see that you rose above it and turned into a well adjusted socially acceptable person. Just like I did. Gwyd |
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Eddini_81976 Inner circle 2183 Posts |
Yes and I'll be the first to admit I have no kids (sadly). Most things I can speak from experience sadly I only just have book knowledge, Dr. Phil, Super Nanny (She's good I think) to rely on. I admit it. I wish I've had experience. Even if I was FOR Spanking I COULD NOT do it with my temper, once I get going, I'd probably take it to far. Anyway hitting a kid even a tap on a diapered bum is wrong and if I saw it I'd REPORT THE PERSON, with no hesistation. Same thing with dogs (Animals). I just love kids and animals I'm a softy...oh well. Ed, (Eddini), C.H.
"Treat Others As You'd Want To Be Treated" - Jesus Christ
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Carrie Sue Veteran user Auburn, MI 332 Posts |
Quote:
On 2009-01-19 11:30, Eddini_81976 wrote: That does not surprise me, so it's probably just as well. Quote:
On 2009-01-19 11:30, Eddini_81976 wrote: That's your opinion, and thankfully the law differs on this point unless it is wildly misinterpreted by politically correct do-gooders like yourself. You'd actually report a decent parent for disciplining their child in a logical, restrained way? Unbelievable. Carrie |
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Chad C. Inner circle 1522 Posts |
Quote:
On 2009-01-19 11:30, Eddini_81976 wrote: Wow. That's extreme. |
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Dannydoyle Eternal Order 21219 Posts |
I like time outs. They work so well for hockey.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus <BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell |
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