Sometimes when I'm out I get people wanting me to do a trick. Sometimes I have had a long day at work and I'm tired. That means I don't feel like performing. How do I say no in this situation? Sometimes when you're at a friendly party you just want to relax once in a while. What do you do in this situation?

I am one of those people who truly feel that we should not foist our magic upon others. In fact, some would say that I am a little gun-shy when it comes to performing altogether. I tend to choose my performance moments very carefully, and perform actual effects few and far between. People who know me also know that I will offer a trick or two if the timing and environment are just so. I often decline to do magic when asked, and usually say "Maybe I'll show you something a little later." This leaves the door open, and often leaves the spectator wanting it that much more the next time I see them, be it a few days or weeks later. But, these same people also know that when I finally do show them magic, it will be magic to remember.

Welcome to the Café, Sleepy. Glad to have you here!

Jay

Jay:
Here with an opposing opinion...

Once people know you as a performer, they will want more from you. You can gracefully turn them down at times, but at others, it may be more appropriate to do one trick, smile, and move on.

Now, I know that the major performers do not always "perform on demand." I'm not a major performer...and if an impromptu performance leads to a booking, hey, I'd say go for it.

Being a magician...being a performer...is something we've chosen freely. If being asked to perform for friends when we'd rather not is the worst part of the gig, then we're pretty well off.

Out with friends, put on the spot, no cards, no coins, what do you do? I'd rely on fingers. Do the basic switch of showing both index fingers, hitting your hands together and showing two fingers on one hand and none on the other. This eases tension, people start talking, and usually buys you time. Perhaps there is something you can do that you forgot, search all your pockets again... If there is absolutely nothing, I'd usually do a watch steal. If no one has a watch, I switch to mentalism.

Interesting post. I feel the same way sometimes. I've always shown them something. But that usually draws a crowd. I'm interested to hear what other people in this
forum would do.

I think you should always do a trick if asked. You never know who is watching.

Great thought Nicholas! It's so very true...you never know who might be watching (other than your immediate specators). Numerous occassions have happened where I've been able to book shows for companies because one of their employees happen to be in the crowd.

I am a true believer in that one should always be able to perform magic on the 'fly'. Learn as many impromptu effects as you can. Knowledge, and the execution of that knowledge is power...and always being ready for what can happen next.

Magically,
- - Troy

If you don't want people to ask for magic, a good think to do is stay at home. It works well for me. Or go to places where people don't know you.

Mago Mai

This is an interesting topic. I think about this a lot, as an amateur hobbyist whose main audience is family, friends, and co-workers.

I do not agree with Mago Mai that one should stay home if they do not wish to be asked for magic. Why would I need to demonstrate my hobby upon request if I don't want to? It is, and remains, my choice. A physician at a cocktail party really doesn't want to listen to your symptoms and make a diagnosis for you, just because he can.

In my opinion, powerful magic needs motivation of some kind, and both parties must want to experience it. Have you ever tried to do a trick for someone who has already told you they don't like magic? It's like pulling teeth. Well, this is the opposite situation to me. If someone wants to see magic and you are not feeling up to it, you can say to them "Next time I see you, I am going to knock your socks off with my newest creation" or "I have a trick that will slay you, but we'll have to see if the conditions are right."

To back it up with an example:

Some friends recently asked me to show them a little magic, out of the blue. I wanted to give Ammar's $2 Bill Tear some flight time. So, I brought it out and performed it like I had rehearsed it. It looked good, and they were pleased. But, after it was done, they wanted to see the bill, asked me if it was a fake bill, wanted to see it done with their $10 bill, etc.

A few days later, my wife's grandfather wanted to give my new baby (his great-grandson) some $2 bills to start a collection like he did for my wife (his grand-daughter) as she was growing up. He said to the baby "Here are a few $2 bills for you. Don't spend them yet, because they're very special." Well, if that wasn't a window of opportunity for the trick, I don't know what is. So, I performed it for him after a segue: "You know, Grandpa, they really do have some interesting qualities about them. Do you know what a $2 bill is made of?" He was floored, shocked, stunned, and laughed like a schoolboy. He didn't ask to examine it, or question it at all. That is powerful magic.

So, in summary, do magic only when you want to, and only when the conditions are appropriate for you. People can tell if you are giving a half-hearted or tentative performance. It is supposed to be fun for all parties, and if you perform magic grudgingly, where's the fun in that?

Jay

It seems like such a nice compliment that people are asking you to do magic. Some people would kill for that attention. Why not carry a quick trick like the "Electronic Rating Pen"? It is functional, fast and amazing to lay people. As stated earlier, you never know who might be watching.

I am not an amateur magician, sometimes I wish I were. I host a Kids' T.V. show called MI AMIGO MAI which makes me a well known personality in my city.

I work with kids and I love them. Sorry, should have said: I love kids and I work with them and for them. But sometimes, I go out to eat lunch and just as I am going to take a bite, a kid or two come to my table and ask me to show them a trick.

I go to the swimming pool and before I get into the pool, I have to do a vanishing coin trick. Not because I carry a coin with me to the pool, but because his father gave it to him and he comes running to me with one in his hand. As soon as I get out of the pool, five or more kids are gathered waiting for me to say hello and of course show them a trick.

I go play tennis and a kid walks to me with a leaf from a tree asking me to vanish it. Another one comes with a bottle cap, or a little rock and wants the same.

I enjoy watching a kid's eyes when I amuse them. I do show them magic when I am requested. I have to. Kids won't take a "no" for an answer. They might think, he is just doing magic, that shouldn't be hard for him. He is a magician...he is my friend... They don't just ask me for a trick, but they ask me to do it again and again.

Sometimes I go to a friend's reunion and as soon as I step into the place, someone asks me for a trick. I tell them I didn't bring a deck of cards and they tell me not to worry, there is one in the house. I tell them that I just come from working 4 straight hours and they still insist. That is the problem. They don't ask me for a trick but they insist on it.

If I tell them that I don't feel like doing magic right now, they don't care about my feelings. All they want is to see some magic.

When I travel abroad I really enjoy being able to eat lunch or walk by the mall and sometimes, just sit on a bench at a park and admire freedom while playing with a deck of cards. Likewise, if I am in my home town and I need freedom, I stay home.

Mago Mai

When I first started doing magic, my wife could not understand how I could do tricks for myself, for hours and hours. She now understands that I do it because it pleases me, and holds my attention even if I am not in front of an audience. Jeff McBride, in a lecture he gave last year, said that he calls this "Medi-tainment" which is a combination of meditation and entertainment. He comes up with his most creative material and most productive practice this way. Also, it relaxes and pleases him to do magic for himself.

I was so happy that he talked about that, because it describes how I feel about magic and performance. People like Mago Mai are very lucky indeed to be wanted by throngs of people who already know him and know that he is a magician. But, this is a very different situation than mine, and other hobbyists.

The ideal situation for me would be for no one to know that I do magic, and then if a situation comes along (like the above mentioned $2 bill story), perform a miracle.

Imagine if your friends knew that you had a flair for drawing caricatures, and at every party you went to, they made you set up your easel and bring your pencils to 'perform'. Sure, there might be an art critic or agent there one night that can rocket you to art-stardom, but is it really worth it to always be 'on-duty' just for this long shot opportunity? That's up to you.

As for me, I will stick to performing minor miracles when the timing and conditions are to my advantage.

Jay

Mago,

I find if you carry around a nice sized scary mask in your back pocket it usually takes care of the kids. Works for me.

-Gene

Gene:

If I had thought about it at the beginning, I would have probably worn the mask or an outfit with glasses and moustache and some make-up while performing. So that they wouldn't recognize me on the streets in real life.



Mago Mai

I say do it any way even if you don't feel like it. You are always advertising. I am sure that Burton, Copperfield, Mac King etc. don't feel like performing four time a day or how ever often they do but business is business.

However if it is just a hobby and not a money maker for you then I suggest just saying "you know, I had a long day and I just don't feel up to it". What are they going to do? They can't make you do it.