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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Magic vs. Girlfriend (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Douglas Lippert
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E Pluribus Unum
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Any of you ever lose a girlfriend/boyfriend wife/husband due to your magic obsession? It contributed to my most recent relationship demise. She even said that Paul Harris was my lover. Haha, ouch.

The breakup really hurt and now magic gives me a bitter taste. I can barely look at a deck of cards or my Lassen coin gaffs the same way...

Any advice from the more experienced magi?
Douglas Lippert
Former I.B.M. Ring #8 Secretary
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MagicSanta
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You broke up over Paul Harris? What a waste.
JoeJoe
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My ex-girlfriend knew I was already married to my magic and to her ... our relationship felt like an affair. Oh well ... nothing I can do about that. It's what I am ... it's what I do. Can't change that. Smile

-JoeJoe
Amazing JoeJoe on YouTube[url=https://www.youtube.com/user/AmazingJoeJoe]
Douglas Lippert
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Quote:
On 2009-05-20 00:16, MagicSanta wrote:
You broke up over Paul Harris? What a waste.


Haha..no. Lots of things but she started to get tired of my practicing all the time and showing her tricks. (note to self, show restraint!)


Quote:
On 2009-05-20 00:17, JoeJoe wrote:
Can't change that. Smile


We shouldn't have to. We just gotta find a woman that REALLY likes magic, and makin' magic? Smile (sly dog me) Some married magicians say their wives "put up with it". Ouch!
Douglas Lippert
Former I.B.M. Ring #8 Secretary
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Daegs
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Much of being in a marriage is "putting up with" things the spouse does / likes.....
Josh Chaikin
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My solution is to not show any tricks, it seems to work well. Did well enough with my last relationship, but that ended for different reasons.

It's okay to have an obsession with magic, just have time for both and don't let the two overlap much.
JoeJoe
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Quote:
On 2009-05-20 01:03, Daegs wrote:
Much of being in a marriage is "putting up with" things the spouse does / likes.....


Tell that to "them" ... not us.

-JoeJoe
Amazing JoeJoe on YouTube[url=https://www.youtube.com/user/AmazingJoeJoe]
gaddy
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Agent of Chaos
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****I'm lucky! My wife continually pushes me to perform more and to practice more...
*due to The Magic Cafe's editorial policies, words on this site attributed to me cannot necessarily be held to be my own.*
Bill Lhotta
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Try to stay more balanced Doug. Your hobby is not worth the loss of a good relationship.

There have been some VERY famous magicians who were awful husbands and fathers. I won't disparage their names here or open that can of worms. But you really don't want to aspire to be just like them, it's not worth it in my opinion.

Again the key is balance. Balance the yin with the yang and you will be much more fulfilled in life. You can have it both ways.

Cheers!

** Bill **
Douglas Lippert
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You're 100% right Bill. I need to balance things in my life starting today. Carpe Diem..

Take care,
Douglas Lippert
Former I.B.M. Ring #8 Secretary
http://www.facebook.com/Doug.Lippert
Steve_Mollett
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Eh, so I've made
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Quote:
On 2009-05-20 16:57, gaddy wrote:
**** I'm lucky! My wife continually pushes me to perform more and to practice more...

So does mine.
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
- Albert Camus
MagicSanta
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You all are talking about magic right?
GeorgeG
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I keep my magic in the "background" so that my wife doesn't know, care, and interfere.
Note: I try to get any packages with magic quickly and stealthly into my collection when they arrive (wife never checks the front door steps, but I do, so I don't hear, "is that more of your magic stuff...where do get the money to buy all that stuff")
Decibel33
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I recently saw a Dr. Phill episode about a pianist who wanted to make a carreer with his music. His family was falling apart due to it. His wife was ready to leave him, hence the reason they were on an international councelling show!

Anyway, Dr. Phil told this man that he doesn't have to give up his dreams, but that he needs to have his priorities set right. Take care of business at home first and foremost...then take care of all other business.
Eddie Torres
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Get a regular gig at a restaurant or volunteer your services at a nursing home or child care place on a regular basis, I know that once I started doing it regularly over and over again I didn't really care to keep harrassing my loved ones with every new trick I had learned.
Eddie Ivan Torres
Bill Nuvo
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Quote:
On 2009-05-20 19:17, Steve_Mollett wrote:
Quote:
On 2009-05-20 16:57, gaddy wrote:
**** I'm lucky! My wife continually pushes me to perform more and to practice more...


So does mine.

Hmmmmm,..., so she's getting you out of the house....hmmmmm. Smile
Ken Northridge
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My marriage ended, in part, due to magic. Not so much my obsession to it, but the fact that it did not produce a Donald Trump like income.

For every girl who dose not like magic there is at least one who loves magic and will share it with you and support you. I found this out in my second marriage.

Still, Bill's advice on balance is very important. Enough is enough. Know when to put it away and share in her interests.
"Love is the real magic." -Doug Henning
www.KenNorthridge.com
Michael Baker
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Eternal Order
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After 18 years of marraige, my wife's tolerance for magic has taken the following forms:

1) Thinking I was some kind of sexy human

2) Wanting to help me better my career as a magician

3) Being jealous over my job impressing other women in bars (even though it was to get their dates to leave me a huge tip

4) Realizing that it was like having your elderly parent move in with you (only death would eventually separate you)

I then began to realize that the true interpretation for her question, "How was your show?", was actually, "Have you made the mortgage payment yet?"

Fortunately (in a twisted sort of way), our teenage son's butthead antics are a wonderful diversion, keeping her tolerance level of magic, let's say, distracted.

Actually, it's all a matter of balancing her interests, mine, our son's, and the bottom line for the family.
~michael baker
The Magic Company
Chad C.
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I don't show my wife very many tricks repeatedly. I usually practice, show her once, and if she is impressed and doesn't know how I did it - I then dance around for a second like an idiot then go and put the trick away never to show her again - so at least I'll have a few tricks that she doesn't know how it's done.

Getting back to the question - my wife loves my magic when she asks me, "How much did you make from doing that show?"

Now, if I were doing this as only a hobby and still trying to show her everything like I did when I first started years ago - she would hate it!

She also now trusts me when I go and spend money on magic because she knows it will pay for itself over and over again!

But yes, I would not go and introduce yourself to you next girlfriend by showing her a magic trick - at least not at first! First, take her to see a live Monday Night Raw! Heck yeah!

Chad
MagicSanta
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I never show my wife tricks cuz she hates both me and magic. I do vent my dogs though and I'll have them go with me to see her and they will say they are doing a trick but because they lack thumbs I'll be doing the handling for them. Then the dog walks me through the trick. If it is good she'll tell the dog how wonderful it was.
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