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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » To good to pass by (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

funsway
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old things in new ways - new things in old ways
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Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
"the more one pretends at magic, the more awe and wonder will be found in real life." Arnold Furst



ShareBooks at www.eversway.com * questions at funsway@eversway.com
Mr. Mystoffelees
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I haven't changed anyone's opinion in
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Occasionally, something truly funny is posted ... this qualifies! Thanks! Jim
Also known, when doing rope magic, as "Cordini"
Mr. Mystoffelees
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I haven't changed anyone's opinion in
3615 Posts

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This may be only runor, but I have heard that when you rub a sufficient number of GV atoms together thay generate an amount of static electricity so small as to be considered a "dead volt". This is referred to as a "dolt".
Also known, when doing rope magic, as "Cordini"
Pakar Ilusi
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Are you pulling our legs funsway?

A moron.

Really?
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
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