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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » You might be a magician if... (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

van wilder
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Profile of van wilder
1. Your best pickup line is "Pick a card."

2. You tell bad jokes 75% of the time.

3. You pay $50 for a $1 coin.

4. A "shell" is not something found on a beach.

5. You think David Blaine sucks (c’mon how true is this!!!).

6. You won’t play card games with your cards.

7. While watching a movie or TV, you have cards in your hands.

8. You pose for a photo with one eyebrow raised!

9. You know who Brad Christian is and you always wonder if he’s gay or not.

10. Your Christmas/Birthday wish list looks like a magic catalogue.

11. If you've ever been asked the question "can you make my wife disappear"?

12. You’re back-ordered for rabbits and doves at the pet store.

13. You use the word "effect" rather than "trick".

14. You drive 300 miles round trip to visit a teeney-tiny store.

15. You have over 100 responses to the phrase "How did you do that?"

16. There’s a pack of cards in sight as you read these words.

17. You're holding a fan of cards in every photo that you're in.

18. You actually want to go to a lecture.

19. You have a dog named "Houdini".

20. You record every magic special on TV.

21. You wear playing card pajamas.

22. You get emotional when shuffling a new deck. (So true!)

23. Anytime you see someone you want to meet, you start rolling a coin or doing one-handed shuffles with a deck.

24. You have more than three decks of cards on you at any given time.

25. No one will play cards with you....ever.

26. Your idea of the perfect proposal is Copperfields 'Rose to Ring'

27. All your friends call you when magic is on TV.

28. The post office calls to tell you that you have ANOTHER package in.

29. Your entire friends name starts with "The Amazing" or "The Great".

30. After viewing magic on TV, everyone in the room looks at you asks, "How'd they do that"? And, all you do is smile and say, "It's really easy if you think about it, but magicians can't tell." And you're really thinking "How the heck did they do that"?

31. You have your local magic shop on speed dial.

32. You can lose your thumb and you visit the magic shop instead of the emergency ward.

33. You pay to see a lecture, buy a written version of what was just demonstrated to you, and then buy a manufactured version of something in the notes.

34. You pay $60.00 for a book and get, possibly, one or two useful things out of it and you're happy.

35. You have so much magic stuff in your room that it’s considered a fire hazard.

36. You have more elastic bands than a stationary shop.

37. You spend hours trying to rearrange the letters in your name to use on stage (only to come back years later using your real name).

38. You bring your topit or pull to class on exam day incase you need to make an "emergency vanish".

39. You don't mind kissing a dove.

40. It really matters to you how someone shuffles your deck.

41. You expect people to think ‘it's magic’ when it took you half an hour to set up.

42. You own a top hat, cape and cane and have never gone to the opera.

43. You began demonstrating the mysteries of ancient China at the age of 9.

44. When you come to visit, your friends hide all the silverware and bring out plastic ones.

45. Someone actually hands you a fork and says please bend this.

46. You say 'how’s tricks?' to a friend and get a 2 hour lecture.

47. You pretended to be insane just to get the straight jacket.

48. You can say "I will now penetrate ..." with a straight face.

49. "Bikes and Ho’s" is not a funny phrase to you.

50. You spend the most money on things that other people aren’t allowed to see.

51. The majority of your English papers are about magic.

52. You have one or more chipped teeth from biting the wrong quarter.

53. You never throw out old decks because you "can make something out of it".

54. You carefully watch a card-playing scene in a movie only to see what kind of cards they’re using.

55.You get a bussiness card from someone and you instantly backpalm!

56.You find yourself making twirls with your soap in the bathroom.

57.You have more silks at home than a proffesional house cleaner..

58.When someone makes a remard about "balls" you instantly produce one.

59.You spend $40 to learn how to make $1 disappear
----------------------------------------------------------------

Just for the male magicians:
Your girlfriend knows the sound of riffled cards over the phone.

You force your wife to take fertility drugs, so you can do those illusions that use twins....

You see a beautiful woman and think if she will suit your act.

Magic turns you on more than women do.

You spend more time in front of a mirror than your girlfriend does.

You show your girlfriend the same trick everyday insisting that "I've improved it greatly".

Your wife tells you "we are going out to dinner, now dear, please leave your toys at home".

You are the only one of your male friends that has a nice "silk collection".

You ask every waitresses you meet "do you have a minute"
JIMclubber64
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269 Posts

Profile of JIMclubber64
This was halarious! Let's see, which ones are true of me...

1. Probably. I haven't used a pick-up line before...
2. this would be true even if I wasn't a magician
3. Not yet.
4. definately
5. Don't know much about him, but from what I've heard, not impressed.
6. So true.
7. nope.
8. hahaha, I wish.
9. Who? No, seriously, I really don't know who he is.
10. When I make it, it will be.
11. nope.
12. once I can afford it.
13. most of the time now.
14. I can't drive yet.
15. Use, no. Know, yes.
16. Sorry, but no.
17. I can't even do a perfect fan.
18. That would be so awesome!
19. Nope, but I'm actually not a fan of Houdini
20. I wish I had. Does that count?
21. Not yet, but someday. Smile
22. for the most part.
23. No, I usually levitate something instead.
24. Only when I'm at work.
25. I would feel cooler if this were true.
26. Not quite, but close!
27. Nope.
28. I'm not that rich, unfortunately.
29. Nope.
30. No, but if I could watch tv specail, it'd probably be true.
31. If I had a cell phone, it would be.
32. haha, so true.
33. I don't think I'd go *that* far.
34. No, I'm not that cheap... yet.
35. someday...
36. Nope.
37. I've always been happy with my real name.
38. I still have yet to learn what a topit is. But I do use a pull.
39. I wouldn't.
40. Depends on if it's my cards or not.
41. I would.
42. I've never been to an opera.
43. I learned my first trick when I was like 6. Does that count?
44. Nah, I'm not a metal bender yet.
45. No, but I would laugh hysterically if it did.
46. hu?
47. I have next to zero respect for escape artist or escape "magic" Sorry, all you escapees out there.
48. I only do one penetration, so I don't ever say this.
49. I don't get this one, either...
50. This has to be the most truthful one, yet.
51. I am proud to admit yes.
52. I don't own that effect yet, so no.
53. Mmm... no, I throw 'em out.
54. No, I watch to see what flourishes they do that I can't, instead.
55. Most of the time.
56. Not yet.
57. haha, probably.
58. From now on, I will.
59. No, sorry.

And the rest were funny, but I can't claim any of them being true about me.
"Magic should always have a purpose. [...] Find your purpose for performing. Only then will you be able to find the right trick!" -- Jay Noblezada
MagiClyde
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Special user
Columbus, Ohio
871 Posts

Profile of MagiClyde
Quote:
6. You won’t play card games with your cards.


Worse than that, you have so many decks you don't know where all of them are. Many of them are special editions that the U.S Playing Card Co. put out, along with Ellusionist and Theory11 just to get you to buy it because it's "different". Best of all, quite a few of them are made STRICTLY for the purpose of performing magic tricks with them (ie Svengali, stripper, hummer, etc)! ;-)

You might also be a magician if your sock drawer is not only full of magic tricks, but you have more than one sock drawer and NOT ONE OF THEM HAS A SOCK IN IT!!! Smile

You might also be a magician if, while packing for vacation, you try to see if there are any magic books, DVDs or tricks that will fit in with the rest of your luggage. You may even go so far as to dedicate one whole bag or suitcase to the effort!
Magic! The quicker picker-upper!
Steve_Mollett
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Inner circle
Eh, so I've made
3010 Posts

Profile of Steve_Mollett
You know you're an ESCAPE ARTIST if you see a nude bondage photo, and are looking at the RESTRAINTS.
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
- Albert Camus
Cliffg37
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Inner circle
Long Beach, CA
2490 Posts

Profile of Cliffg37
Steve, ROTFLMAO. You are so right. I went to a srtait jacket site just yesterday. In my opinion it was more of a bondage site. Like you, I was looking at the restraints first.
Magic is like Science,
Both are fun if you do it right!
rossmacrae
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Inner circle
Arlington, Virginia
2445 Posts

Profile of rossmacrae
Your girlfriend daily looks into your eyes and whispers lovingly "can we leave now, please?"
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