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Jon Allen
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V.I.P.
England
1718 Posts

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I believe that Chris Angel's new show
Is an event to which noone will go
I've heard it's appalling
With ticket sales falling
Go see Lance at Monte Carlo
Paragon 3D - the most incredible Card to Clear Box you will ever own. Be fooled here: http://youtu.be/GQxRZ1OGkUo
The Silent Treatment - Digital Edition: this iconic routine just got upgraded! Watch - http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=phTDUhX0m9o
Order the bar-raising DVD set 'Connection' at www.onlinemagicshop.co.uk
Necromancer
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Inner circle
Chicago
3039 Posts

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**ENOUGH**

Did Shakespeare try things as perverse
As the Zig-Zag or Chop Cup? Or worse,
Did Kipling or Poe
Front a Las Vegas show?
Of course not. Yet we’re murdering verse.



:verysad:
Creator of The Xpert (20 PAGES of reviews!) and the Hands-Off Multiple ESP System ("Quality and design far exceed any ESP cards on the market"-Genii), and contributor to the ebook GOLD: When It HAS To Be Performance GOLD -- all at Penguin.
Ian Richards
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Loyal user
220 Posts

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“The Card That Could Not Be Found”
Is a magical mystery profound
It uses a mouse
That peeks from its house
And a toy gun that makes a weird sound
Al Straker
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Grammar Host
Australia
1119 Posts

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Now Regal invented this "Clink"
By dropping lead weights down the sink
When one became stuck
He was heard to say f@#$
And now fish can be found in his drink!
Al Straker
Resident Mystery Entertainer at Multiple Venues
Music & Mentalism Specialty Act 'Completely Mental'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyGhApqnG7I

(Old clip, show has changed quite a bit since then!)

Jazz & Contemporary Musician/Composer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnN3JNmeKns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sU_zfOvpneA
MagicSanta
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Inner circle
Northern Nevada
5845 Posts

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A young magician from Boston Mass
was sure magic would score him some ***
'watch watch' he would say
but all still thought him gay
Well at least now he can practice his pass
Douglas.M
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Elite user
461 Posts

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Illusions can sometimes be daunting
said a Magi who's voice was quite haunting
he said the word: POND!
and pointed his wand
which flooded my yard with it's founting

A sharper did nothing but win
lots of money by cheating at gin
he got up to leave
when I glanced up his sleeve
and saw a holdout incredibly thin

A magician who fell on hard times
began to believe his own lines
"You're a Rabbit", he said
but I just shook my head
and started craving carrots and vines

"Flourishing ain't 'xactly easy"
said a man whose hands were quite cheesy
He pulled out a deck, and then said "Heck,
I can't fan after pizza so greasy"
michaelmystic2003
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Inner circle
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Quote:
On 2009-06-18 18:37, Neil Tobin wrote:
**ENOUGH**

Did Shakespeare try things as perverse
As the Zig-Zag or Chop Cup? Or worse,
Did Kipling or Poe
Front a Las Vegas show?
Of course not. Yet we’re murdering verse.



:verysad:


This is brilliant.
Follow Michael Kras on Twitter! http://www.twitter.com/KrasMagic

Check out The Kras Change at Vanishing Inc Magic! http://www.vanishingincmagic.com/magic-downloads/ebooks/kras-change/
michaelmystic2003
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Quote:
On 2009-06-13 20:37, Michaelmystic2003 wrote:
Clever this limerick is not.
Lots of Poetry Books have I bought
I will learn how to rhyme
Now that I've found the time
Kuz I'm done advertising Regal's "Clink" in my limerick
Follow Michael Kras on Twitter! http://www.twitter.com/KrasMagic

Check out The Kras Change at Vanishing Inc Magic! http://www.vanishingincmagic.com/magic-downloads/ebooks/kras-change/
Douglas.M
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461 Posts

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A young slight of hand quick-starter
tried to shove a small pen through a quarter
but the pen wouldn't budge
and the fellow said "fudge!
I gave the wrong tip to the porter!"
Chris K
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2497 Posts

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Quote:
On 2009-06-12 12:33, Platt wrote:
Quote:
On 2009-06-12 12:27, Quinn wrote:
Platt, if you're gonna be a snarky killjoy, at least do it with proper meter and rhyme:

It's all self-promotion these days,
Even contests to turn a good phrase.
It's dirty no doubt,
But at least my "Blackout"
Has a banner -- 'cause I'm one who pays!



Nice, I like that one better. Explaining a joke isn't a whole lot of fun, but if I must... David is one of my favorite magicians and I consider him a friend. If it wasn't clear that I was being 100% sarcastic. I apologize. Love the contest. See, no fun.


So I actually had to go see if you were indeed selling Blackout. If you were, I knew it was a joke, if you weren't, I knew you were serious.

It wasn't obvious to me, but it was funny. Except the caps.

I HATE ALL CAPITALS! WHO DOES THAT?
I MEAN, REALLY? YOU CAN'T COMMUNICATE IN A DECENT TONE?!?!?!?
OH, AND MULTIPLE PUNCTUATION MARKS, WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THEM???????????!!!!!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!??!?!
Douglas.M
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461 Posts

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A trickster from a town we'll call Carriage
did shows that others disparaged
his wife knew the cause,
and she said without pause,
"the magic is gone from our marriage"

A strange little wizard named Vole
became obsessed with the old Benson Bowl
he inverted the thing
and started to sing
"My sponges shall conquer you all!"
Turk
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Inner circle
Portland, OR
3545 Posts

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If we can only submit one entry, this is my entry:

In magic, one man found safe haven
Using an image quite eerie and graven.
Then, with mentalist flair
He let down his hair
And Max'ed out being a Maven.


If allowed to submit more than one entry, here are a few more for consideration:


To a magician who invented the Clink,
His bathwater I offer to drink.
And with the tub thus so drained,
I'd put its ring on a chain
Then wash it all off in the sink.


An ex-governor out of Chicago
Thought himself "The Incredible Blaggo".
With Substitute Trunk on the stage,
This preposterous mage
Proved he's not Charlotte's new-found Iago.


A man from the town of Vancouver
Used gravity as his prime mover.
Cards and coins he would drop,
To the floor they would plop.
That's why he invented the Hoover.


There once was a man from Des Moines
Whose hand reached into his groin.
All eyes on him focused
As he said "Hocus Pocus".
Then slowly came out with gold coins.


There once was a magician from Norway
Who performed in front of shop doorways.
The appreciative crowd,
Applauded out loud
And made a “fat hat” for his pay.


(Alternate to above:)

There once was a bumpkin from Norway
Whose magic was nowhere and no way.
Dropping cards, coins and rope.
He gave up all hope
For people to ask him to stay.


There once was a man from Nantucket
Who outpoured the milk from a bucket
"Please, watch my right palm
He declared with aplomb
And a coin from within, I will pluck it".


(Badda boom!) I'm outta here.

Mike
Magic is a vanishing Art.

This must not be Kansas anymore, Toto.

Eschew obfuscation.
MagicSanta
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Northern Nevada
5845 Posts

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A salute to Turk for knowing the first line usually gives a geographical reference.
808
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Regular user
116 Posts

Profile of 808
A Green looking man out of Sweden

Bemused us with laser beam dealing

But his show couldn't last

For along came Ammar

And threw all his cards on the ceiling.

xx
sometimes people can surprise you!
Jefferson
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New user
58 Posts

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I was once friends with this guy
Who thought he'd give magic a try
But I don't return his calls
Since he tried to cup my balls
And make his muscle pass up and down my thigh
Alan Wheeler
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Inner circle
Posting since 2002 with
2038 Posts

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As a novice who hoped to learn faster
I found tricks that were easy to master.
I still post today
At the Magic Café
But my show is a total disaster.
The views and comments expressed on this post may be mere speculation and are not necessarily the opinions, values, or beliefs of Alan Wheeler.
A BLENDED PATH
Christian Reflections on Tarot
Word Crimes
Technology and Faith........Bad Religion
Davidicus
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Look Ma!
1142 Posts

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There was a magician from Phoenix
Who only knew one or two tricks
He’d find a card lost in the deck
But when it turned out incorrect
He said, “You can all kiss my wrinkly ol’ weenus!”
(It’s a ‘Friends’ reference to the elbow…Look it up Smile)
Davidicus
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Inner circle
Look Ma!
1142 Posts

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There once was a magician from Guam
Such skill, such charisma, such calm
Used to much flash cotton, KABOOM
Not a dry pant leg in the room
We thought it was a nuclear bomb!
Davidicus
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Inner circle
Look Ma!
1142 Posts

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A variation of my earlier submittion:

There was this man from Suprise
Who'd make objects vanish before your very eyes
He called a volunteer
To help make his wand disappear
She said, "I usually get one seventy five"
Charlie Justice
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Inner circle
Mount Dora, Florida
1142 Posts

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And now, without further ado,
a prize will be given, no...two.
could one be for me,
we'll just wait and see,
Dear David, please tell us who.

peace, charlie
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