Let me start off by saying I don't normally perform. I practice endlessly, but when it comes time to actually show an effect, I freeze up. The nerves take hold and I can't even seem to think straight. I may perform for family and friends here and there, always at my home and never out in public. My wife hasn't even seen all the effects that I know. We were talking last week and after realizing that I've been on this path of magic off and on for approx 14 yrs now, I figured it was time to get over the nerves thing and start doing something with this skill.

So when she came home from work and asked if I would perform for her training class, I really didn't see how I could say no. She told me her trainer was from out of town and that he was a big fan of magic. She told him about the local shows we have here, unfortunatly, he would have to leave before being able to see any of them. So she offered me up for a 15-20 min performance in the training room so that at least he would be able to see something before he left.

I put together some card manipulations, coin and cigarette vanishes then began rehearsing them for the 2 days leading up to the performance. The night before going over everything 4 times in front of my wife so that she could help me with last minute touches. Aside from me doing a Boomarang Card and Pinkie Does It from RRTCM, she liked everything else. Especially the little Keatonesque touches I put in.

She then lets me know that she would like me to perform a quick close-up trick for her future boss as well. No problem. At least I can't say she isn't being supportive after I said I wanted to perform more . So we get there, and in training enviorments like this one, when people hear something like this happening, they tend to start filing in to watch. What went from a room of about 10 jumped up to a room off about 20-25 people. And the nerves took hold.

Needless to say, flubs happened. I started into my card manipulations and got applause right away. Defiatly a confidence builder there. I could hear the "whoa"s and "wow"s throughout the room, but tried to consentrate on just my manipulations. I went into do Pinkie Does It and completely blew it. Then I dropped the cards while I was trying to square the deck. I was mortified but blew it off with a joke and a laugh and went back into doing more manipulations. When I came to the small backpalming portion, the one that I was really worried about, everything went off without a hitch. Oddly enough the only time I dropped the cards was when I wasn't even trying to perform a sleight. Hahaha

I noticed through all that I had the feeling I was rushing myself, so I did my coin work next and slowed myself down. Laughs everywhere and the expected questions of if I could multiply the money everyone got from their paychecks. Finished out with the cigarette portion and again everything seemed to go well, though I did have trouble with the TT for the vanish at the end. I didn't realize how nervous I was until I looked down and saw the cigarette shaking between my fingers. I also did a Tic Tac geek effect from a Tomas Medina DVD, though I don't know the actual name.

Berfore I left my wife wanted me to do ACR for the trainer so I did. This is also the same effect I did for her future boss. Both times I had trouble with my first D***** L***, but nothing I couldn't play off and again, reactions seemed to be positive. Not one person yelled out "I saw that" or "I know how that is done". That was really a load off for me as it is one of my greatest fears and one of the reasons I don't perform often.

At the end I was just tossing a card around and my wife gave me this "Don't do it" look. At home when I start tossing cards what inevitably happens is a Boomarang Card toss caught in the deck from a Paul Harris video that I have(the name of the effect and the video escapes me at the moment). I was doing it all the night before and could not for the life of me catch the card. My wife kept telling me to "stop it". lol So that day see said "You're going to do it, aren't you", to which my reply was "Of course". I had a feeling. So I tried it and caught the card squarely in the deck. I got applause for it and had to explain why it wasn't a part of the performance proper.

All in all I think everything went well. Even through the nerves it felt great to get the applause and the laughs where they were appropriate, and to see everyone happy when I left. My wife said she did not get a bad comment all day, just how talented I was and that they really enjoyed watching. I don't know how much of that is her just being supportive or if it's fact, but it's still good to hear. I'm a long way from professional status, or even feeling confident in charging for what I do. But I've learned that screw ups won't kill you if you can laugh them off. No matter how mortified you might be. And I figure it will only be a matter of performing more to get my effects as smooth for the public as they are for me at home.

Just wanted to share what I consider a partial success story in the hopes that it can inspire anyone out there to take that first big step to performing. The rush and exilerating feeling is totally worth it.

PS:: I came home and rehearsed Pinkie Does It about a half a dozen times. And I've told my wife that if I see the person that I tried it for, I'll do another effect for them.

Shawn

Hey Shawn,

Fair play! Sounds great,you dealt with your nerves and went for it! Everyones first time is a bit hit and miss I'd say! I guess the initial performance can be so raw that it leaks over to the specs and they tend to feed off it...

Shaking and all that jazz is normal especially as you put a bit of pressure on yourself.Constant practice and thinking does that! I don't do magic really more into mentalism though what I would suggest maybe doing card manipulations later in the act so perhaps your body get get hold of your nerves and thus make cards easier to handle?

Your wife sounds ace! She deff gave you nice push and great opportunity to perform!

Well done again and hope you continue to do even better

Best,

Pete

It sounds like you did great! To press on beyond the "flubs" takes great courage. Next time will be easier and better.

Thanks for posting!

Awesome man thanks for sharing Sounds like you did great..inspiring because I have a lot of the same problems you had and don't peform for friends and stuff as often as I can.

Hi Shawn

very cool that you faced the bull head on. nice one.

whats next?

Hey, thanks for sharing. By the way, I dropped the cards in my first public performance too.

Consider the value of the flub. I have found that the "flubs" often times gets the audience on your side. Flubs can often times create the opportunity for a magical comedy moment. we need to keep in mind that exploiting the disasters can be more entertaining for an audience then an actual effect.This is true in any public speaking event.