And now Bob Sanders... the Henny Youngman of magic.

The intermission is over and still no blue lights!

Bob.. What does the Kmart special have to do with opening lines?

And you thought the ticket wouldn't be worthless until after the show...

Tonight you are here to see one of the world's greatest magicians....but he/she couldn't make it so you are stuck with me

How many of you brought your magic wands?

The funniest opening to an act I've ever seen was actually a comedian at the Festival here in Edinburgh. He came on and just paced around the stage for a few seconds looking curious then said "im just looking to see if I can find the funniest part of the stage" everyone laughed as he continued to pace. As they laughed he looked surprised then walked back to the point where everyone laughed and everyone laughed further.

Thought this was genius!

That would've been Jimeoin.

In the words of Tommy Cooper (RIP)
Tonight Im going to do my last trick first-----Because Im sick of the whole act
or
Lets get the show off to a flying stop.

This thread is pure golden. lol

By a show of hands, how many have never seen me before? Pretend to count hands.
And, by a show of hands, how many are seeing me for the first time? Pretend to count raised hands.
WOW, smart audience, almost the same amount of hands!

Chair is on stage. You are introduced. Come out with a coffee cup, and a newspaper. Sit down and start reading. Take a sip of coffee here and there, until it gets uncomfortable.
Then you notice the audience, and say.....
Oh yeah, like you get to your job and start working right away! (snapping fingers)
Put down paper and coffee and proceed with your show.
Might read bland but it gets the laughs.

An MC quipped after my time was up
Harris finds doing comedy is cheaper than psychotherapy.

Side note; Comedy Club comics frown on using other
people's stuff without permission.

Frown on? I have seen fights over it! This is the exact reason why magicians get so little respect from comedians. (Other than most magicians being WAY less than funny that is. I offer this very thread, heck this entire section mostly as proof.)

Why is being in prison, or less than hygienic so amusing to magicians.

Shouldn’t your opening line set the tone for who you actually are? Don’t you want it to have at least something to do with the rest of your show? In other words shouldn’t you write it yourself? Nahhh never mind.

I agree for sure. Look at just this thread and what magicians think is funny. Most are generations old lines or gimmicks. Comics go out of their way NOT to use others material or anything that even resembles another comedian's materials. Magicians feel that they not only can use others materials but are entitled to do so (literally word for word) when they buy a book, DVD, or trick.

There is very little effort let alone priority to writing original material. It would be great if magicians were blacklisted for doing so much like in the comedy community.

My opener does link to my set.
As a person with autism I found theatre and music helped
get me through college. Both are part of my schtick.
Know your audience and know yourself.
A small town was focused on a discarded brown couch.
So I wrote this quickly to make an opening connection.
It's less than a minute.

https://youtu.be/CUmnHeVocNM

As my comedy developed I used fewer props.
Though I still love sleight of hand, it was Jay Sankeys
books on comedy and the monologue had more lasting
affect than his books on magic.

Harris
Palms of Aluminum Foil

That's the opening bit of a stand-up comedian's, named Stanley Ullman. He's opened his act with that for 45 years.

Carl balintine the Magician his opening line was I got here as soon as I could.