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MagicSanta Inner circle Northern Nevada 5841 Posts |
Wait, so smokers are deranged? You hear that smokers????
16 years old....I was in the Navy when I was 17....kid. |
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michaelmystic2003 Inner circle 3062 Posts |
Thank you for the advice... We definitely could have been closer together, I agree. I disagree about using an alternate weapon, as the ending would have not been possible.
As a side note, what other stuff of mine have you seen? Quote: On 2010-01-23 23:05, RicHeka wrote:
Learn more about my upcoming book of close up magic and theory SYNTHESIS & SECRETS: A Magic Book in Four Acts: https://www.michaelkrasworks.com/synthesis-secrets
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Magnus Eisengrim Inner circle Sulla placed heads on 1053 Posts |
You know Michael, we've watched you grow up a little bit over the past couple of years. Still, this smacks of yet another "I'm asking for feedback" as a barely disguised code for "Please praise me". Maybe it's time to put that behind you.
John
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats |
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michaelmystic2003 Inner circle 3062 Posts |
I can assure you I'm not looking for praise... Merely addressing a few things I feel cannot be fully assessed without knowing certain facts... But perhaps I'm out of line in this regard. I wasn't looking for advice on details like swearing, I was looking for advice on my personal acting performance, improvements that could be made in that regard.
Learn more about my upcoming book of close up magic and theory SYNTHESIS & SECRETS: A Magic Book in Four Acts: https://www.michaelkrasworks.com/synthesis-secrets
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Destiny Inner circle 1429 Posts |
I must apologise - I didn't realise the invitation to comment was limited to your acting (the one area which has received praise)and not to your authorship.
And little did I realise that any assessment of the piece needed knowledge of 'certain facts'. How does the audience assess the performance - is there perhaps a program handed out, or an announcement made which possesses them of these certain facts? |
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michaelmystic2003 Inner circle 3062 Posts |
There was in fact a program distributed that warned the audience of any questionable content. I admit, I wrote this knowing little about the process of a real confessional and therefore that may have affected it in terms of realism. Those I talked to afterwards, however, hadn't noticed any factual inconsistencies or errors.
Learn more about my upcoming book of close up magic and theory SYNTHESIS & SECRETS: A Magic Book in Four Acts: https://www.michaelkrasworks.com/synthesis-secrets
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Dreadnought Special user Athens, Georgia 836 Posts |
I really don't care about getting the confessional completely wrong. As Hollywood does it all the time. It seems whenever they want to show religion it has to be a Catholic priest or some Catholic ceremony and, as I said, it is usually all wrong.
What bothers me is the smoking and swearing and it being oked by a school. I think that would definitely put more people off than the religious content. As a parent, it's not what we send our children to school for. I just think that would, and according to some of the posts here, put people off and you as a person would suffer for that, which would be the biggest problem in all of it. Future note: should you perform this again, the Catholic Church has changed a lot since Vatican II. very rarily will you see a box confessional outside of a pre-Vatican II constructed church. Most confessions are now done face to face, in the priest's office. Usually the two people sitting opposite each other like two people having a conversation. The priest should also be wearing a purple stoll draped over his shoulders. Also, any priest will tell you that nothing shocks them as they have heard it all. If you are looking for the shocked priest effect, then make it clear that this priest is young, straight out of college and just out of the seminary, and is inexperienced. Peace and Godspeed.
Peace
"Ave Maria gratia plena Dominus tecum..." Scott Would you do anything for the person you love? |
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Dannydoyle Eternal Order 21219 Posts |
Then Michael you were talking to those ignorant of the process and the opinion is useless. (except as to how it helps your ego gratification needs)
I assume you would like some writing tips as well though you have not spacifically asked for them so here goes. ONLY write about things you know about Michael. If you want to be taken seriously, swearing and smoking do not make up for actual knowlege. I know you want to swear and think it is sort of grown up, and putting it in the context of the confessional is really "edgy" (though has been done to death) but the simple sad fact is that when the material is readily noticed as something you know nothing about (being in a confessional for example) then it will be looked down upon. (it is almost like someone trying to claim the "Da Vinci Code" was a historic piece when in reality it was a poorly crafted work of fiction that got almost all the history wrong. People who would think of it as history are not happy.) No matter how great a story you may be trying to tell Michael, you must do background work on your subject. Even if it is a subject you know well, it is important to get the minor details right. If you don't you will lose much of your audience. I hope you do pay attention and do not just look for the ego gratification. DO YOUR RESEARCH. As for Hollywood getting it wrong a lot, shouldn't we start to expect more from them?
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus <BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell |
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michaelmystic2003 Inner circle 3062 Posts |
No ego gratification... I'm just wondering why such minor details are being do heavily focused upon. I say two mild swear words and take one puff out of a fake cigarette... I just felt the cigarette MADD got a smooth introduction to the subject matter and was good as an establishment of character. I suppose not.
Learn more about my upcoming book of close up magic and theory SYNTHESIS & SECRETS: A Magic Book in Four Acts: https://www.michaelkrasworks.com/synthesis-secrets
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MagicSanta Inner circle Northern Nevada 5841 Posts |
It is getting rather old, this "I didn't know anything before I did it" angle. You impersonate people you never heard of doing scenes you never saw and now portraying a character you don't understand in a situation you know nothing about.
I was pondering your play, the few minutes I saw. First I'd suggest you get rid of the priest, he had the same look on his face as that skunk I ran over a couple nights ago, which cost me $107, and this knees together and leaning like he was trying to listen to you in a tight space while you were sprawled out like a bear in training (wink wink to those that get it). You could have done your parts while the priest was silent, been done before but if done well it works. Also change the scene to an encounter on a park bench with a priest if you must have a priest in the mix. I have to agree with dreadnaught, I'm surprised the school allowed you to do the playette. I write and when doing scenes where smoking normally was done by the characters I've left it out because I don't think it is important to establish anything even in bars etc.. Smokers, bless you keep at it if you want I'm talking about on stage. I went to a play in San Jose, I was a season ticket holder for musical theater, and a character lit a cig and you could hear the gasp in the audience and they did complain. |
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michaelmystic2003 Inner circle 3062 Posts |
In the future, I'll omit the cigarette... But, if the priest is lost, the play loses what I tried to give it and the whole point us list
Learn more about my upcoming book of close up magic and theory SYNTHESIS & SECRETS: A Magic Book in Four Acts: https://www.michaelkrasworks.com/synthesis-secrets
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MagicSanta Inner circle Northern Nevada 5841 Posts |
Us list? Was that Roul? Keep the priest but tell him to sit a bit more naturally and knock off the leaning to hear, you character 'the bear' isn't whispering. You actually did well it in kid, you should be proud.
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Dannydoyle Eternal Order 21219 Posts |
Quote:
On 2010-01-24 02:56, Michaelmystic2003 wrote: THIS is wha you took away from my post Michael? It is ALL about ego gratification son. Oh well, see ya when you are 25 and your ears clear up and listen.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus <BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell |
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michaelmystic2003 Inner circle 3062 Posts |
Danny, I wrote my response very late at night... I will respond again once I've read your post and given it the attention it deserves.
Learn more about my upcoming book of close up magic and theory SYNTHESIS & SECRETS: A Magic Book in Four Acts: https://www.michaelkrasworks.com/synthesis-secrets
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michaelmystic2003 Inner circle 3062 Posts |
I understand Danny... In the future, when writing anything based on fact, I should know full-well what I'm talking about. In the case of The Confessional, I only thought I did.
What I posted in my original post is incorrect... My group specifically did not have two weeks to prepare. After leaving a group we could no longer stand to be with, my partner and I were left with four days to prepare. Since the concept of our play was my own, I personally wrote it and obviously didn't spend too much time on it because, well, we simply didn't have that time. As such, all the research and attention to detail that my play would have benefited from were missing. All the same, the play was effective in performance and, should I ever choose to have it performed again, will work on it to make it as realistic and convincing as possible.
Learn more about my upcoming book of close up magic and theory SYNTHESIS & SECRETS: A Magic Book in Four Acts: https://www.michaelkrasworks.com/synthesis-secrets
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magicalaurie Inner circle Ontario, Canada 2962 Posts |
The major objective you accomplished well here, Michael, was to express your view on a universal theme. The cigarette, the confessional, swearing, gun, are SYMBOLS. I advocate doing your homework, most definitely, but theatre is accepted by audiences on levels other than the realistic. Those shocked by a stage cigarette and swearing in a student play seem to me not to be very familiar with the high school drama. Cliches, yes. With experience, the cliches are replaced with more subtle expressions. Drama is about expression and exploring themes. You've done that here. The dialogue and acting was fairly good. It moved, pacing was o.k. You attempted to utilize the space, cover the stage. You're young. Your teachers allow for that. It WAS good work, Michael. And it will improve with experience. Best wishes.
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Gilgamesh_The_Librarian Elite user 408 Posts |
Quote:
On 2010-01-24 12:47, Michaelmystic2003 wrote: No !!! Incorrect or incomplete facts in your story...I don't believe it. Quote:
Were they spitters ? Incidentally, whilst we have now moved onto your latest piece of greatness, isn't there an outstanding explanation due on the "pome wot you wrote" ; to quote: Magnus, I plan on addressing your opinions and questions when I present the breakdown of the poem... I figure I'll kill two birds with one stone. The lines and stanzas do not just feature words that are there "because they rhyme and sound strong". Every small part of this poem has significance. Even lines as confusing as "Intricate propriety, simplistic sobriety" have a quite important meaning... in fact, the poem is an honest one and expresses my personal feelings based on a recent isue. An agog world still waits. NB The acting was good ...I enjoyed it. |
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Dannydoyle Eternal Order 21219 Posts |
Laurie I think the distinction between drama performance and writing needs to be seen. I think that yes you are 100% right when you say that people accept theater on many levels other than "realistic" (Cats for example?) and it can be fine.
I do think though that on some level dramatic license can be "overused" and if you get something flat out wrong it can hurt a lot. It is a lesson best learned early. It is all in the research, at least that is what I have read. It does matter somewhat unless it is OBVIOUS you are taking a dramatic license. This was obviously done out of ignorance and I think the two are vastly different. One can help the effort and one can hurt the effort.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus <BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell |
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magicalaurie Inner circle Ontario, Canada 2962 Posts |
I am in agreement with you, Danny. As I said I definitely advocate doing your homework. I also said with experience, work will improve. Michael has posted right above me saying he will make such reparations in the future.
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MagicSanta Inner circle Northern Nevada 5841 Posts |
I get it Gilgamesh!
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