You must have at least 18 people in the audience, because the
sign says "Under 17 not admitted" ...

Your closeup kit smells like gasoline.

You can pick your zig zag out of a bunch..
It's the one with tobacco juice on both sides...

If your "lovely assistant" just carries her high heels to the show to prove that she has some.

Your unable to do a trick with teeth in it.

You can only palm coins by first rubbing your
hands in chainsaw oil...

A fishing tackle box goes to your close-up shows.

You know you're a redneck magician when...its Springtime and all your cousins daughters are graduatin' grade school (kicked out), and your lookin' for a new assistant/wife cause all your others are either pregnant or lookin' ugly. But you gotta payoff your shine tab to your cousins before you do any serious courtin' (14 isn't too early, is it?).

Your first trick you have to explain to your new assistant is called the red snapper, and its better done with lard.

The music in your show is done with jugs, washboards, and one tub with a rod and string.

You always know that a "shiner" is not something used in card magic.

You pass a well paid show on to someone else because it would interfere with a NASCAR race.

When you think a text message is XXX.

When asked for your autograph you forget how to spell your name...

You sign your contracts in blood

You do cups and balls with Mason jars painted silver.

After your show, you serve possum on the halfshell. ...

You do Cups and Balls with real eggs.

You know you're a redneck magician when...your rope is used to hold up your pants and you produce crawdads from your dove pan!

You have your business card on the wall at your bail bondsman's office.