Star Trek: Enterprise

(I'm on the first summer break that I've taken in a very long time so I now have waaaaay too much time on my hands. Enjoy. )

Enjoy what? That you're going to post like a madman? Go for it! Let's get some action going.

Worst TV theme song ever? I dunno. Does anyone remember the theme song for Alf?

The lame piano intrumental with the 80's slap-style bass in the back?
Yeah I remember it. I was at the right age for that show.

Well, I looked it up, and it sucks:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhFE4oxig04&feature=related

Still, it's Carrie Sue's vote for the BEST SERIES IN THE HISTORY OF TELIVISION. (I still love you Carrie, but you are absolutely wrong about this. I thought you were a trekker anyway, so what gives?)

This wasn't a theme song but it got very famous for being on a TV show, sold millions of copies, and I would love to track down the singer and beat him to death. It is from the TV show with Michael J Fox (I don't recall the name) and represents man as a whimpy, wussy, crybaby, weepy, yuck. It is the song played when the lil' hottie who actually married Fox in real life left him on the show and had lyrics like "What would you do, if I took back this moment....". I'd link to it but don't know the artist or anything. God I hate that song!

Just for you, Santa:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iliLnQmaEOA

Family Ties! It isn't the theme that drives me nuts....here is the worst hit song in history, the biggest wussy song of all time:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2ur063fMhs

ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!
Quick! Someone pass the Springsteen!

Golden Girls "Thank you for being a friend" was pretty awful.

The theme for the old '60s Hulk cartoon contains a truly dreadful rhyme...

Dr Bruce Banner, blasted by gamma rays
Turns into the Hulk, ain't he un-glama-rays

On the other hand, the backing singers are fantastic. Close call.

Here's a few that made eyes roll around my house every time we heard them:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81Oe03Z39rA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UumiZKltAPQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdVFmjYe9Pc

Scott, I really wish I hadn't clicked all three links.

And it wasn't just the songs that were bad. The whole opening sequences leave something of a crappy sweet taste in one's mouth.

Crappy sweet?

Y'all know exactly what I mean.

"Thank You for Being a Friend" by Andrew Gold is actually a fantastic song...it's one of my favorites. 80s TV themes are classic...how can you not love them?

I agree. On another note, Mike Post is the John Williams of TV theme songs.

Apparently, the Blossom theme song didn't suck enough in his opinion, so the lyricist had to make up the word "opinionation" just so it could suck even more.

I think it would be tough to beat this one, however. (Yes, it's a real show, but only lasted 1 episode.)

Wow, I just couldn't look away from this train wreck.
The whole show was just... I don't even know.

The Horror . . . the Horror . . .

When I had to babysit: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Clarissa_Explains_It_All.html

The good news is I did not have to be in the room.

now for some early childhood trauma: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym6aoOIRnOc
and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlQSqPXzVdw

and don't do this at home: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Winky_Dink_and_You.html

This is a gold mine here! This is the basis of a whole new school of psychoanalysis. If Freud were alive today, he'd quit that dream racket, and ask for your worst TV themes. Much more telling, and influential. I now have enormous insight into our common derangements.

Jon, I have no conscious memory of Dodo the Kid from Outer Space, but the opening and the song are so familiar, I must have watched it at some point of my childhood. Thank you (I think).

John