So what's your name? That was my name when I was a little girl...You're how old, oh I was that old when I was your age...

Surely we can do better than that?

I was thinking it might be fun to brainstorm some different things to ask children apart from their name age etc and then go from there with responses to responses.

Who can think of some different questions to ask helpers?

I'll start:

What's your favourite subject at school?
Have you ever made a sandwich? What did you put it it?
What did you dress up as last hallowe'en?
What's your favourite cartoon?

Go on give it a go..

Things to ask children...

Pull my finger

So kid, do you prefer big props or small props?

Sorry, just thought I'd beat everyone else to it.


When I'm making a balloon for a helper, I always ask:

What flavour balloon would you like?

The weird thing is, they usually answer without hesitation - strawberry, orange, chocolate and whatever they say, I produce one the appropriate colour. Try it!

Do you know any Magic spells/words?

Is your Mum single?

Who's your favorite Superhero?

Is she dating anyone?

Have you lost any teeth? Which ones? What happened to the teeth after they came out?

Are you the big brother (or sister). Do you like being the oldest.

(If the child has really big eyes) Can you see in the dark? (they usually say yes)

Do you have a dog (or cat)? What is your dog's name?

What colors of ladybugs have you seen?

Are you getting enough pizza in your diet? What about birthday cake?

Do you like chocolate? Which do you like better, chocolate or your mother?

Do you like to color? What type of pictures are your favorite to color?

If you could do real magic, what would you do? Make a sandwich appear? Make your brother / sister / teacher disappear?

- Donald

P.S. When you ask kids about their pets, they like to tell you that they had 3 cats, but one died. And their names are ---, ---, and --- (including the one that died). But then we are going to get a kitten to replace ---.

Guys, if the questions aren't a gag, what is the point?

I was coming to that Tony. "What's your age?" isn't a gag. The gag comes in your response to their response.

Also children can be pretty funny on their own if you ask them something interesting enough. And if you can work with them (if your ad-libbing skills are any good) then you may get some gold.

I think the point of Silvertongues questions may be slightly different. I sense an ulterior motive cleverly concealed within his line of questioning...

Do you like going to school?
Child: .....
Oh I loved it, to go in .. Eh...
I loved, to go in the .. Ehh..
Kid helps: "School"
Ahh, no I loved to go in the vacations.

I understand George....when you get to the questions with responses to the responses I'll join in. You should get another 12 pages of repeated questions until that point.

Have you ever seen a grown man naked? er wait that's something you do not ask children, my bad.

:)

Really! I mean who cares about the AUDIENCE. It's really all about how clever I can be and about how witty my come-backs are. Imagine how ridiculous you would look if you actually seemed interested in what was important to your audience.

Totally preposterous. I'm with MagicSanta on this one...I'll wait until you post some sharp retorts before I'll pay any more attention to this thread.

(Wow, my sarcasm was much thicker than usual on that one!)

Actually I like all the questions and I think that asking them (with absolutely no pre-planned responses) is a GREAT thing to do. Kids are funny in their own right, and it really does endear you to your audience when you seem to care about THEM rather than on how you can steal the limelight from any utterance they make.

I frequently ask children between ages 5-7 if they have any loose teeth and if they do to wiggle them so I can see them. Loose teeth are fascinating to this age group. Give them a chance to show you theirs and you will get a powerful response.

1) All depends on the child's answer, but usually I say "Really? Mine was recess!!"

2) "That sounds good! You know MY faviorite things to put in a sandwich? MY TEETH!!" (at this point I'd have produced a large foam sandwich with the honking-rubber-chicken inside)

3) If it's a girl and she says something like 'a princess' I answer "Oh? Did you get lots of candy? Well I went as a princess last year and no one gave me ANYTHING!"

4) "Yeah? Well it just happens that I invited Phineas & Ferb (or whoever) over for the show today! (pause for effect) Uuuunfortunately....they didn't show up!"

Is your brother an only child?

This is one of the reasons I use a traditional hand-held mic. I like to ask the kids questions and kids love the mic. They often have funny answers and this way I'm not the only one hearing them.

"I need a volunteer!! Members & non-members only please! Open to Boys and girls of either gender!"

Mr P and Julian get it! The questions don't have to be funny it's about involving your audience and making them part of the show not using them as living props to force your own punchlines upon.

I do however think it's OK to have some funny comebacks to some of the standard responses. You still want the show to be entertaining but I hate it when an entertainer stops a child short when they are obviously going to share something pretty funny or interesting because it won't fit in with their prepared gag.

I think you should have parts of your show that are natural and organic. I often find the funniest moments in my show is when a child is being truthful
(and the unfunniest are quite often when a child is trying to be funny!)

Funny questions are great. I do the same as Kimmo asking what flavour balloon a kid would like. Don and MFs questions are pretty funny too but they're really just a gag where the response doesn't matter (except you will get another laugh from the puzzled look from the child).

Questions with yes or no answers are limited. You either get a yes then go on to your prepared joke which is kind of contrived. Or a child decides it is funny to answer no to everything. Which isn't funny, in improv this is called blocking (I have on occasion explained the principles of improv to a volunteer plus the comedy rule of 3 but it only really amuses myself and the adults)

I tend to work like this I'll ask a question. If the response is funny or I think it might be going somewhere funny I'll keep on asking questions. If it's a pretty unimaginative response and I don't think any more is forthcoming, I'll say something funny in reply. It's not about proving I'm witty just about making sure the conversation is entertaining and the child has fun on stage.

So against Julian's wishes but so Santa can join in some prepared answers to standard replies:

What did you dress up as at hallowe'en?
A witch
Were you friends witches as well?
yes
Was it hard to tell which witch was which?


What did you dress up as at hallowe'en?
A pumpkin
I dressed up as that too last year. I painted myself orange and put on 5 stone.

What did you dress up as at hallowe'en?
A vampire
I have a great vampire costume. Apart from the teeth; they suck. Aye aye, see what I did there? Fang you very much. Some biting satire there. I really got my teeth into that one.
That's 4 vampire puns there. Count 'em.
That's 5!

Obviously if the child starts telling you about the time they dressed up as an octopus and the cat attacked their legs or the time they dressed up as a monster and scared the bejaysus out of great Aunt Sylvia...let them!

George

First I comment about the color of my outfit...

If it is mostly yellow (which it usually is)

I honestly tell them, my house is yellow.

My toy (er prop room for IRS purposes) room is yellow.

Guess what color my cat is.

YELLOW they yell.

Sometimes I quip ..How did you know...


or

PINK....or green polka dots...

__________

Kids do say the Darnest things....(art linkletter)