You're banned becaus the next 999 cuts are the most torturous.

You are banned because why stop at 1000?

You're banned for reminding me of Sheryl Crow's silence on her most likely knowledge of her then husband's, Armstrong, doping allegations.

You are banned for bicycling.

You are banned for cyclophobia.

You're banned for your phobia cycles.

You are banned for podophobia.

You're banned because my podophobia is based on my smell o vision phobia.

You are banned because your computer allows smell-o-vision!

You're banned for banning him when his computer is at fault.

You're banned because it's the software at fault, not the computer(hardware).

You're also banned for tempting me to abandon my New Year's resolution already, to cut way back on magic purchases, with your new book offer.

You're banned for not realizing this purchase is well worth breaking resolutions for!

You're banned for that is all I can do here.

You're banned for limiting yourself.

You're banned for not knowing any limits!

You're banned for knowing my old self too well!

You're banned for pointing out I suck at math I was kinda happy in my ignorance of pi.

You're banned for blaming others.

You're banned because blaming is four letters away from flaming.

You're banned for conjuring up images of Michael Jackson.