You're banned for having an impossible anatomy; the extremities, ie., toes and fingers (and the unprotected face and nose) are always the first to be overwhelmed by frostbite.

You're banned for not thinking if he's wearing shoes or not.

You're banned because it looks and feel exactly like a sunburn!

You're banned for getting sunburned, which when I was in the military was an Article 15 offense if it kept you from your work.

You're banned for the sun.

You're banned for preferring to moon.

You're banned for thinking that's what I prefer when actually it is what you want to see.

You're banned for mixing it up.

You're banned for thinking that I am mooning the sun.

You're banned for the eclipse.

You're banned because you're the mindreader, not me.

You're banned because I knew you'd say that.

You're banned for making me try to figure out whether you are mooning the moon, sunning the moon, mooning the sun or sunning the sun; with an additional ban for ignoring the planets.

You're all banned for cutting me off and making my post meaningless.

You're all banned for ignoring my ban about the eclipse.

You're banned for preferring the dark side.

You're banned for preferring the backside.

You're banned because it's much more mysterious.

You're so banned for saying the backside is more mysterious.

You're banned because I was responding to your "dark side" post, which I find more mysterious.

Slowkeenuh is banned for interjecting the "backside" comment, inadvertently making you believe that I found backsides more mysterious.

For the above reasons I have been unjustly banned. And unjustly judged. And therefore, I demand a hearing before the panel to clear my name.