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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Penny for your thoughts » » Cold -reading and conflict management (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

brainman
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Did cold reading ever help you in getting out of "negative" situations..or to avoid quarrels or conflicts..?

I am VERY interested.
Think of unfriedly persons, personal attacks, unfair treatment

Phanthomas
Mr Amazing
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Define "Cold Reading" first.
brainman
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With cold reading I mean cold reading.....
perhaps you get it:

You are in a situation where there are only few ways out..and those ways are hard to go. So by reading someones mind, or by telling them personal things about them, they might get surprised and in the moment of their confusion one could take this opportunity to find a new way out of an unpleasing situation ...

P
Mr Amazing
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When younger, I did get out of a fight by praising the biggest guy of them for his intelligence, sporting abilities etc (some of it mere guesses based on his appearence... the "intelligence" bit was made up). Cold reading? Probably more an instinct for survival.

/Matias
Sir T
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As a former SP with the Air Force, I can say, 100% Yes, I have. I would suggect you take some time out and speak to police officers and see, how many of them have talked themself out of dangerous situations, such as a demostic, it is amazing what you can tell about a person based on a Profile (how un pc of me).

Kevin Smile
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Quote:
On 2002-04-16 17:50, phanthomas wrote:
With cold reading I mean cold reading.....
perhaps you get it:

You are in a situation where there are only few ways out..and those ways are hard to go. So by reading someones mind, or by telling them personal things about them, they might get surprised and in the moment of their confusion one could take this opportunity to find a new way out of an unpleasing situation ...
P


I am still not clear what you mean here. Are you refering to having someone have some real problems that need talking out and how you can get around them?

PSIncerely Yours,
Paul Alberstat
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brainman
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Well. The basic idea of conflict-management is (as I learned): "I am O.K. and You are O.K.
AND: if one is able to make the other feel a little tiny bit more comfortable/O.K. through statements about their past/future/their personality - in combination with the difficult situation (not overlenghty readings - But appropriate messages - which must seem impressing as no one could know them - and which seem to spread a little bit confusion (in the agressors brain) as it should be impossible to know this all.
I believe that even simple "Barnum statements" alone can help in difficult situations. Perhaps they are a bit manipulating and they do not erase the original cause of the conflict - but in THIS moment this tactic could serve (and preserve psychic and physiological health in this ! moment.
..it IS of course a piece of manipulation but the eventual personal danger can ethically compensate this tactic (my personal opinion).
In such situations it seems that through the "reading" a kind of confusion is generated and (momentarily) confused persons are much more suggestible than others as we know from hypnotherapy/NLP et cetera - so the reading "will find its address".

Clearer? - my english is not that good - but I try....

Sincerely
Phanthomas
Philemon Vanderbeck
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I use "cold reading" all the time in my normal daily interaction with people. Since I've been actively 'practicing' the skill ever since I was 12, it's very difficult for me to 'turn it off' as it were.

I tend to intuitively pick up on a lot of information within a minute of meeting someone, and I'm familiar enough with the basic patterns that we all fall into, that I can often anticipate whatever issues may be weighing heavily on a person's mind.

Unfortunately, because of this, I often unconsciously project an image of 'smugness' which can turn off a lot of people, but I'm working on this problem. Smile

Getting back to the original question, I have found that the best solution in conflict management is to simply _listen_ to the other person (which is one of the basic cold-reading techniques), and then repeat back what they said in a reworded fashion in order to facilitate clear communication (which is another basic cold-reading technique).

I'm proud to say that I rarely get involved in direct conflict because of these techniques, although I still have problems learning how to deal with schizophrenic individuals...
Professor Philemon Vanderbeck
That Creepy Magician
"I use my sixth sense to create the illusion of possessing the other five."
Drewmcadam
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I just run fast!
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