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Jonathan Townsend Eternal Order Ossining, NY 27297 Posts |
A friend has something similar - It's good to be right with yourself but not to be right with others.
...to all the coins I've dropped here
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Woland Special user 680 Posts |
In terms of speech or other forms of communication, I've admired the principles put forth by the Rotary:
Quote:
Of the things we think, say or do Not necessarily applicable to every circumstance, but a good starting place. Woland |
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landmark Inner circle within a triangle 5194 Posts |
Thanks, Woland.
Click here to get Gerald Deutsch's Perverse Magic: The First Sixteen Years
All proceeds to Open Heart Magic charity. |
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LobowolfXXX Inner circle La Famiglia 1196 Posts |
The Rotary 4-way test would definitely save some bandwidth on the Café.
"Torture doesn't work" lol
Guess they forgot to tell Bill Buckley. "...as we reason and love, we are able to hope. And hope enables us to resist those things that would enslave us." |
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gdw Inner circle 4884 Posts |
Quote:
On 2010-11-29 12:38, stoneunhinged wrote: I would say you weren't right, initially, but what you did was right, and the student seemed to have taught you a lesson, given what you said you'll do next time.
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."
I won't forget you Robert. |
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Chessmann Inner circle 4242 Posts |
Quote:
On 2010-11-29 19:04, Dannydoyle wrote: I don't think this situation quite fits the situation we find in Dyer's quote. However, I don't think you will find much argument here as to what is the kind thing to do in this situation above.
My ex-cat was named "Muffin". "Vomit" would be a better name for her. AKA "The Evil Ball of Fur".
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Dannydoyle Eternal Order 21219 Posts |
Quote:
On 2010-11-30 00:49, Chessmann wrote: Really? Because it seems to be a confusing point.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus <BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell |
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Chessmann Inner circle 4242 Posts |
Oh, sure, I think that, when speaking objectively, most everyone here would have similar thoughts on what is 'kind' in the situation you mention (as long as the person is told the truth in a kind manner).
Unfortunately, when a situation goes from being hypothetical to personal, too often objectivity and clear thinking go out the window!
My ex-cat was named "Muffin". "Vomit" would be a better name for her. AKA "The Evil Ball of Fur".
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Dannydoyle Eternal Order 21219 Posts |
No. Too often what people FEEL is taken into consideration. Feelings have nothing to do with truth, or even being kind.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus <BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell |
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Chessmann Inner circle 4242 Posts |
Danny, I think you've gone way off the intent of the phrase.
My ex-cat was named "Muffin". "Vomit" would be a better name for her. AKA "The Evil Ball of Fur".
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Dannydoyle Eternal Order 21219 Posts |
Yea intentions are really great. But again we have to live in reality. Sorry to bother you with it.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus <BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell |
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landmark Inner circle within a triangle 5194 Posts |
Remember this one?
Cruel to be Kind - Nick Lowe Oh, I can't take another heartache Though you say oh my friend, I'm at my wit's end You say your love is bonafide, but that don't coincide With the things that you do and when I ask you to be nice You say you've got to be... CHORUS: Cruel to be kind in the right measure Cruel to be kind it's a very good sign Cruel to be kind means that I love you Baby, got to be cruel, you got to be cruel to be kind Well I do my best to understand dear But you still mystify and I want to know why I pick myself up off the ground to have you knock me back down Again and again and when I ask you to explain You say, you've got to be... CHORUS Ooh ooh ooh ooh.. ooh... ooh...
Click here to get Gerald Deutsch's Perverse Magic: The First Sixteen Years
All proceeds to Open Heart Magic charity. |
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Tom Cutts Staff Northern CA 5925 Posts |
Those without kindness in their soul can't discern being right from being kind. To them being right is the only compassion they know.
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Chessmann Inner circle 4242 Posts |
Quote:
On 2010-11-30 11:06, Dannydoyle wrote: Danny, what on earth is the problem? Did you think I was challenging you or being combative? I simply thought that your example wasn't the best illustration of the kind of scenario that the Dyer quote was based on.
My ex-cat was named "Muffin". "Vomit" would be a better name for her. AKA "The Evil Ball of Fur".
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Dannydoyle Eternal Order 21219 Posts |
Quote:
On 2010-11-30 14:02, Chessmann wrote: I simply think that it is "kinder" to be truthful. (That does not mean without tact mind you.) I have seen people who everyone was so kind to telling them they are great they belong on a stage and afraid to be mean, and let them blow the whole life savings trying to do a show here in Branson that had 0 chance of ever making money. Was that "kind"? As I said reality is where we must live. I do not think "kind" enters into an equasion as much as simply telling the truth does. I think perceived kindness can be detrimental. I suppose after a long winding journey, I have arrived where the truth means more. (Wasn't always that way but it is now.)
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus <BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell |
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Chessmann Inner circle 4242 Posts |
Danny, I agree with you 100%
I do think that the Dyer quote is meant for a different kind of *specific* scenario, but yes, I think that kindness often involves things that can bring some pain. As I read the Dyer quote, I imagined more of a battle of egos, and not involving a truth that needs to be told in order to prevent further pain (as in the scenario you mentioned above) - kind of, "I think I'm right, but there is a bigger issue here, and continuing to press my point is just going to...." damage a relationship, perhaps, just so I can have the satisfaction of knowing I came out on top of a meaningless argument.
My ex-cat was named "Muffin". "Vomit" would be a better name for her. AKA "The Evil Ball of Fur".
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Woland Special user 680 Posts |
Chessmann,
In every interaction, you have to understand what your goals are. You have to know who you are, and who is your interlocutor. Every interaction will have an outcome. What do you want it to be? If you understand what you are trying to achieve, you will know how to proceed. Do you want to make a sale? Do you want to build a longterm relationship? Do you want the satisfaction of making the other fellow look like an idiot? If you understand your own purposes, then you will know what is appropriate. Now along with that, it requires a lot of experience and a lot of wisdom to be able to accurately predict what the effects of your actions or comments will be. Again, intentions alone are not enough. This again is what I think Proverbs 12:10 is suggesting. The righteous man understands his own animal appetites, that is, he understands what motivates him and he knows how to corral and harness his impulses. "Winning the argument" is often far less important than other simultaneous goals. I think that's a useful application of the Dyer quote. Woland |
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Chessmann Inner circle 4242 Posts |
Yes, that's clear. You do know that I am talking about the intention of the quote, not any person, correct?
My ex-cat was named "Muffin". "Vomit" would be a better name for her. AKA "The Evil Ball of Fur".
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Woland Special user 680 Posts |
Correctamundo.
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Mr. Mystoffelees Inner circle I haven't changed anyone's opinion in 3623 Posts |
Ironically, it seems we've lost sight of the title to this thread...
Also known, when doing rope magic, as "Cordini"
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