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Michael Baker Eternal Order Near a river in the Midwest 11172 Posts |
Thanks to the influence of my grandfathers, I've been told that when I was about two, I dropped something at the kitchen table and said, "Well, I'll be a son of a b****!"
~michael baker
The Magic Company |
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motown Inner circle Atlanta by way of Detroit 6127 Posts |
"Mom, what time are the Golddiggers on?"
"If you ever write anything about me after I'm gone, I will come back and haunt you."
– Karl Germain |
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Josh Chaikin Inner circle Kansas City 1430 Posts |
Like Michael, though due to the influence of my mother, whenever I heard anyone say "Bull!" I instinctively added "****!" after it, never fully understanding why they seemed to feel this was bad.
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Magnus Eisengrim Inner circle Sulla placed heads on 1053 Posts |
Quote:
On 2011-01-23 00:45, motown wrote: Right after Petticoat Junction, I figure.
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats |
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muse Special user Scotland 925 Posts |
At school in central Scotland, something good was "Gallus!", something bad was "Mince!". A gullible person was a "Sponge!"
And yes, pretty much everything was said with exclamation marks. |
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RS1963 Inner circle 2734 Posts |
Sit on it. Shove it up your nose.
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Al Angello Eternal Order Collegeville, Pa. USA 11045 Posts |
Up your nose with a rubber hose.
Someone adjust the rabbit ears, because the TV is out of focus. Don't bogart that Marlboro my friend, pass it over to me.
Al Angello The Comic Juggler/Magician
http://www.juggleral.com http://home.comcast.net/~juggleral/ "Footprints on your ceiling are almost gone" |
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Michael Baker Eternal Order Near a river in the Midwest 11172 Posts |
Dookie monster
~michael baker
The Magic Company |
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Pakar Ilusi Inner circle 5777 Posts |
"Mama"...
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
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EsnRedshirt Special user Newark, CA 895 Posts |
Don't have any good ones myself, but yesterday, I offered some Grape Nuts to my 22-month old son. (He's tried them once before, and didn't like them, but was curious what I was eating.) He looked at the spoon, shook his head, and replied, "Daddy's cereal poopy."
Self-proclaimed Jack-of-all-trades and google expert*.
* = Take any advice from this person with a grain of salt. |
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Magnus Eisengrim Inner circle Sulla placed heads on 1053 Posts |
Quote:
On 2011-01-24 11:10, EsnRedshirt wrote: Now is the time to explain fibre to him...
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats |
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Tom Fenton Inner circle Leeds, UK (but I'm Scottish) 1477 Posts |
"Want to buy two fifty pence tickets?"
"What for?" "A pound!" Feeble joke but it was funny when I was twelve.
"But there isn't a door"
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Magnus Eisengrim Inner circle Sulla placed heads on 1053 Posts |
Quote:
On 2011-01-25 14:41, Tom Fenton wrote: Another sad consequence of decimalisation...
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats |
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Ray Tupper. Special user NG16. 749 Posts |
Quote:
On 2011-01-25 15:12, Magnus Eisengrim wrote: Just replace "fifty pence" with "ten bob",same outcome.Twenty bobs(shillings)to the pound. That's as close as it got to decimal.Then it was twelve pennies to the shilling...then it went lils up! Make sense of this! 2 farthings = 1 halfpenny 2 halfpence = 1 penny (1d) 3 pence = 1 thruppence (3d) 6 pence = 1 sixpence (a 'tanner') (6d) 12 pence = 1 shilling (a bob) (1s) 2 shillings = 1 florin ( a 'two bob bit') (2s) 2 shillings and 6 pence = 1 half crown (2s 6d) 5 shillings = 1 Crown (5s) Anyway,playground words: Ace. **** hot. The dogs ********. They all meant....Good. EDIT: It's a shame they can't be seen,but I'm sure you know them anyway.
What do we want?
A cure for tourettes! When do we want it? C*nt! |
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landmark Inner circle within a triangle 5194 Posts |
I just remembered what was considered the all time funniest joke in my first grade:
"You know what?--That's what!"
Click here to get Gerald Deutsch's Perverse Magic: The First Sixteen Years
All proceeds to Open Heart Magic charity. |
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MagicSanta Inner circle Northern Nevada 5841 Posts |
God...that was a big joke for us too. Saying it over and over until you pot hit was the goal.
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Michael Baker Eternal Order Near a river in the Midwest 11172 Posts |
"Pete and Repete were sitting on a wall. Pete fell off. Who was left?"
"Repete." "Pete and Repete were sitting..."
~michael baker
The Magic Company |
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PutASpellOnMe New user OK 27 Posts |
Ah ight!
Psyche! Fer real? I ain't skeered! Dorkwad! He's a fox Shake it don't break it, took your momma 9 months to make it! Your momma! |
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seadog93 Inner circle 3200 Posts |
Icey
Fresh Icey Fresh No sh** Sherlock Ythgou cathgan't ethgevthgen uthgundthgerstthgand mthge! HAHAHA! Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat, if you don't, I don't care I'll show you my underwear (in hindsight that's a pretty weird threat, but it seemed pretty funny at the time) Yo' mamas so skinny she could hoola hoop in a Cheerio. I saw yo mama kicking a can around the other day, I said "what you doin?' She said "movin" Yo mama's so fat she has her own zipcode Yo mamas so short she could paly handball on the curb Yo mamas so ugly when she was a kid they hung a pork chop around her neck so the dog would play with her Yo mamas so stupid, if she was a dog she'd chase parked cars. There were more. Oh man, I feel bad, ...respect to all the moms! The caps were from 6th grade. Starting in about 3rd or 4th at summer camp (Camp Winnarainbow) I remember a lot of riddles and a lot of REALLY bad jokes that embarrass me just to think of them. Sorry, if even if I could bring myself to share any of them they would all be banned.
"Love is the magician who pulls man out of his own hat" - Ben Hecht
"Love says 'I am everything.' Wisdom says 'I am nothing'. Between the two, my life flows." -Nisargadatta Maharaj Seadog=C-Dawg=C.ou.rtn.ey Kol.b |
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