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*Mark Lewis* V.I.P. 1325 Posts |
Kambiz, my boy. You are an Australian (even if you pretend you are British). Therefore trying to write in a posh manner does not become you because there is no such thing as a posh Australian. They are the rudest and most obnoxious people on the face of the earth (apart from Richard Kaufman of course). You did indeed make remarks about my lack of hair so you must be expected to be reprimanded for it.
And young Shirley may think that claiming to be Jewish will exempt him from reprimand. I am afraid it won't. I cannot imagine anything worse than a Jewish Australian. Even one that claims to be British. I am Jewish myself and know what an obnoxious and argumentative people we can be. Again look at Richard Kaufman. Someone once told me that the most anti-semitic people in the world are other Jews and I have found that to be perfectly true. To be Australian is bad enough. To be both Jewish AND Australian is the end of civilisation as we know it. There. You dared me. It didn't work did it? If I had not been Jewish myself you might have gotten away with it. |
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Thomas Cooper Special user 935 Posts |
I just want to point out an interesting fact here:
There was an Australian Prime Minister who held the world record for drinking a yard of ale.
I call myself "Thomas Cooper" here because this stops the magic café appearing when people google my stage name.
Does anyone else find the term "Special User" to be a bit condescending? |
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Sid Helkule Inner circle Australia 1481 Posts |
That was Bob Hawke. He is also the only Prime Minister to have ever broke down crying on national television.
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*Mark Lewis* V.I.P. 1325 Posts |
Quote:
On 2011-07-20 23:26, Sid Helkule wrote: Really? Did the poor man have to watch Kambiz and young Shirley perform mentalism? |
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Paul Shirley Inner circle Melbourne, Australia 1206 Posts |
Quote:
On 2011-07-20 23:47, Mark Lewis wrote: Hahahaha Not so young mate. Been doing magic as long as you have. |
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Paul Shirley Inner circle Melbourne, Australia 1206 Posts |
Quote:
On 2011-07-20 23:18, Mark Lewis wrote: Nope. Backfired on me big time As I hoped it would. Im still undecided as to wether you are a comic genius or just a crabby ole' (Note: Ole' not Old) dude who just doesn't care anymore as to the effect his words an actions have on others. Im going with a little from column A... and a little from column B for now. Either way, you are highly entertaining. This place is better with you here. EDIT: I never claimed to be Jewish. I stated, as fact, that I am of Jewish decent... as well as Italian, and American, as an aside. Born in England... raised in Australia... lived in China for a long time. |
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Doc_Z Loyal user New York, NY 229 Posts |
I feel the need to stick up for my country here. Americans are certainly the most rude, obnoxious people on the planet, aren't we? Or is that one more thing we've slipped behind on?
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Paul Shirley Inner circle Melbourne, Australia 1206 Posts |
As for Kams supposed slight on the follicle challenged... was not directed at you Mark.
Big Boy Barry the Baldy is a variation on a name we give the stereotypical big scary guy who invariably shares a cell with you when you go to prison ( a thing most Australians can identify with... it would seem) I think it stems from movies such as 'Bad boy bubby' and the jail scene in 'Fletch lives' Don't get ya balloons in a knot! |
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Paul Shirley Inner circle Melbourne, Australia 1206 Posts |
Quote:
On 2011-07-21 00:02, Doc_Z wrote: Nope. You lost that title Doc. Sorry. We are all wrong though... it is actually the Eskimos. They are the rudest people on the planet apparently..?? |
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kambiz Inner circle Perth, down by the cool of the pool 1129 Posts |
I think I remember when Bob Hawke cried. He cried for the plight of men (and women, in fact) who are bald and how all their insecurities bubble to the surface at the mere mention of "hair", even though there is nothing to be insecure about....
O, the beauty of reminiscing of the days when emotions were so raw.... Kam
If I speak forth, many a mind will shatter,
And if I write, many a pen will break. .....and when I consider my own self, lo, I find it coarser than clay! |
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kambiz Inner circle Perth, down by the cool of the pool 1129 Posts |
P.s I am actually an Iranian, raised in Manchester, living in Australia, so I guess I should brace myself for the onslaught of anti-Arab prejudice that's so prevalent in Fremantle prison...
Mark, is there a country that you are proud of to be sharing the planet with? Kam
If I speak forth, many a mind will shatter,
And if I write, many a pen will break. .....and when I consider my own self, lo, I find it coarser than clay! |
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critter Inner circle Spokane, WA 2653 Posts |
Quote:
On 2011-07-21 00:02, Doc_Z wrote: We are too fat and lazy to be rude or obnoxious. All a fitter person has to do is walk away from our overburdened jazzy scooter and they're free.
"The fool is one who doesn't know what you have just found out."
~Will Rogers |
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*Mark Lewis* V.I.P. 1325 Posts |
Americans are not particularly rude or obnoxious unless of course they come from New York. I have found them warm and friendly except when they want to sue or shoot you. As for Kambiz I am afraid he doesn't seem to know where he comes from since Iranians are NOT Arabs. They are Persians and Persians are not Arabs. Now since he doesn't even know what the hell he actually is, I am afraid his posts carry no credibility whatsoever especially when he states that he comes from Manchester where they talk in that dreadfully lower class Coronation Street manner. People from Manchester cannot possibly be upper class so he should not try and fool us with big words since hailing from where he does is indicative that he cannot possibly understand them.
And I don't mind Arabs one bit although I find them a little excitable. In fact I rather like them. But as I have stated Kambiz is not an Arab anyway. And no. There is no particular country that I am terribly fond of. In fact I think I rather hate the human race and magicians more than most. As for the Shirley personage if he has being doing magic as long as me then he is using someone else's picture as an avatar, since I have been doing magic 54 years which I suspect is longer than he has been alive. Furthermore I would request him not to refer to me as "mate". It is a dreadfully lower class British and even worse Australian expression that is used among the working classes of which I am not one. It assumes undue familiarity that I cannot possibly approve of. |
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Withnail Special user 974 Posts |
He states that he comes from Manchester where they talk in that dreadfully lower class Coronation Street manner. People from Manchester cannot possibly be upper class so he should not try and fool us with big words
[/quote] Jesus. You should visit me in corby...
Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day
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*Mark Lewis* V.I.P. 1325 Posts |
I am not quite sure that Jesus got your message. I shall inform him as soon as possible through the gospel section of the magic Café, although why he would want to visit Corby I am not sure. I thought he had already suffered enough for our sins.
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Withnail Special user 974 Posts |
Touche
Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day
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Paul Shirley Inner circle Melbourne, Australia 1206 Posts |
Quote:
On 2011-07-21 04:09, Mark Lewis wrote: Wow... Do you do kids parties? You should use THAT as your strap line. Mark Lewis... He Hates YOU. Quote:
On 2011-07-21 04:09, Mark Lewis wrote: My mistake. Your webs site said you had been performing magic about 30 years or so. Me too... although not full time I must admit. And no, I am 38. Sorry mate. |
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*Mark Lewis* V.I.P. 1325 Posts |
I have to say that on my website since if my clients knew the truth they would be expecting me to show up with a walker looking old and decrepit. It would actually scare them off if they knew the real facts. In truth although I have been doing magic for 53 years, 43 of those would be as a professional.
And yes, I am terribly grumpy when I do kid shows but alas you cannot fool kids. They see through you immediately. Which is more than 50% of the magic Café is able to do. Kids have an incredible instinct as to whether you really like them or not. And it works in reverse too. You can pretend to like the kids and be terribly nice to them but they will see through that too. Anyway, here I am doing a kid show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PB3wQz-Md4 |
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mastermindreader 1949 - 2017 Seattle, WA 12586 Posts |
Mark makes an excellent point. In my promo it says I've been an entertainer for over twenty years. I really don't want to advertise how far over twenty years I've actually been performing. Sure, I'll also mention places I've worked like Atlantic City and Las Vegas, but I don't want to give them the idea that I'm the "Geezer from Caesar's".
:eek: Good thoughts, Bob |
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Paul Shirley Inner circle Melbourne, Australia 1206 Posts |
Quote:
On 2011-07-21 05:21, Mark Lewis wrote: That was great. Your not a big ole meany at ALL! |
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