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mvmagic Inner circle Has written 1322 Posts |
Man I am ****ed!
Bit of a backstory first... A girl (ok, a woman these days) I went to school with (from 1st to 12th grade) has had a rather easy life. She has never worked a single day in her life (we're 38). When we graduated from high school, her present was a 2 bedroom condo and a Volvo from her parents. And a new car every two years since. She still keeps studying to "find her thing". Now don't get me wrong, she IS a very lovely person-she just doesn't understand money or working or any of the normal things people have to deal with. Rather funny, as her father works like hell and is almost never home for more than a few hours. So, she asked if I could do a show at her sister's bachelorette party. I said sure and quoted a price. Last night, I did the show. After I had wrapped up and had all my stuff back in the car I went to my friend to ask for the money. I figured she would come to me, but didn't so I had to take the iniative. "What, I thought you were joking!" was her reply. "Its a hobby, you cant ask money for that!" Though she very well knows I have been performing since I was 20. I almost went thru the roof. A person who doesn't have to worry about a thing as daddy pays for everything, and usually spends mindlessly, all of a sudden goes frugal. Well, after some heated exchange, her sister payed me. Still I have hard time coping with it. No wonder she has left a dense trail of ex boyfriends behind her...
Sent from my Typewriter
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stoneunhinged Inner circle 3067 Posts |
Well, I'm glad you got paid. But if you feel insulted, just consider the source. Sure, an insult always stings. But it shouldn't. Not this time.
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tommy Eternal Order Devil's Island 16544 Posts |
Sounds like my daughter who we have named Sports and Leisure.
If there is a single truth about Magic, it is that nothing on earth so efficiently evades it.
Tommy |
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landmark Inner circle within a triangle 5194 Posts |
Oof, sorry, that hurts. Curious to know how the situation and relationship evolves.
Click here to get Gerald Deutsch's Perverse Magic: The First Sixteen Years
All proceeds to Open Heart Magic charity. |
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JRob Veteran user Central South Carolina 395 Posts |
Doing work for friends is always frought with peril and has done harm to many friendships. Unfortunately that is a lesson people insist on learning the hard way.
"Jim Roberts, AKA: Professor Jay Rob "<br>
The Professor's Facebook Page |
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Dannydoyle Eternal Order 21219 Posts |
Good to hear you got paid.
Here is my question. What has the story you told up front got to do with you not getting paid? I mean you absolutely need to be paid, you quoted a price and it was agreed upon. But why so angry that she gets things you have to work for? I get being upset with her about not being paid. Don't get me wrong. I was just curious what her havnig money had to do with it? After all she wasn't being "frugal" she was being a dolt! She wasn't trying to save money here, to use it there and so forth. Again not frugal, but something else.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus <BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell |
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landmark Inner circle within a triangle 5194 Posts |
The woman because of her lack of experience in the work world doesn't understand that people expect to be paid for their work.
Click here to get Gerald Deutsch's Perverse Magic: The First Sixteen Years
All proceeds to Open Heart Magic charity. |
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Dannydoyle Eternal Order 21219 Posts |
Hogwash. Of course she understands. The gardener gets paid, the furnature people get paid, all those people who do her hair and such get paid. She gets the concept perfectly well. Shw was trying to take advantage of a friendship.
I just was curious why her being from money had anything to do with it is all.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus <BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell |
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Magnus Eisengrim Inner circle Sulla placed heads on 1053 Posts |
Quote:
On 2011-07-23 09:35, Dannydoyle wrote: I'm thinking leftist conspiracy.
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats |
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LobowolfXXX Inner circle La Famiglia 1196 Posts |
Class warfare.
"Torture doesn't work" lol
Guess they forgot to tell Bill Buckley. "...as we reason and love, we are able to hope. And hope enables us to resist those things that would enslave us." |
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landmark Inner circle within a triangle 5194 Posts |
Quote:
On 2011-07-23 09:35, Dannydoyle wrote: I don't think that concept entered her mind. My guess is she truly does not think she takes advantage of anyone. In her entitled mind, they are taking advantage of her, trying to use their friendship for gain.
Click here to get Gerald Deutsch's Perverse Magic: The First Sixteen Years
All proceeds to Open Heart Magic charity. |
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Magnus Eisengrim Inner circle Sulla placed heads on 1053 Posts |
People have interesting views of talented friends. Musicians are constantly being asked to play at weddings, funerals, parties, etc. and the thought of payment often doesn't enter the mind of the requester. People as doctors and lawyers for a quick bit of advice without considering that this is how they make their livings.
I help kids with their homework for free, but I'm a sucker. John
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats |
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Andrew Zuber Inner circle Los Angeles, CA 3014 Posts |
Because performing could be considered a hobby or just fun for the sake of doing something fun, it sounds like she truly doesn't understand the concept at all.
"I'm sorry - if you were right, I would agree with you." -Robin Williams, Awakenings
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mvmagic Inner circle Has written 1322 Posts |
I think her being from money has everything to do with it.
Because of all people, I never thought she would mind paying. I have seen her buy an accordion just because she wanted it, on a whim. And that was way more than what I asked for. I have performed for single moms with very little money and they have insisted on paying. In comparison, my husband comes from considerably larger money than my friend (he is also one of the hardest working people I know) and he doesn't get a free ride. We have acquired all the real estate we own and rest of our investments purely on our own, without any help from his family. Or mine.
Sent from my Typewriter
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EsnRedshirt Special user Newark, CA 895 Posts |
Signed contract, even among friends, when money is involved. That way there's no using the excuse, "I thought you were joking!"
Self-proclaimed Jack-of-all-trades and google expert*.
* = Take any advice from this person with a grain of salt. |
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The great Gumbini Inner circle 3062 Posts |
She must be in US politics somewhere. No I'm kidding like all good US citizens I know our people are all over-worked and under paid. However back to the issue at hand. I just hope you or one of her friends will be there when Daddy and Mommy pass on----because this sweet little thing will be lost. But then she will complain how her parents didn't raise her well and now she can't take care of herself.
Good magic to all. Eric |
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tommy Eternal Order Devil's Island 16544 Posts |
Sounds like my son who we have named Carl Marx.
If there is a single truth about Magic, it is that nothing on earth so efficiently evades it.
Tommy |
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mastermindreader 1949 - 2017 Seattle, WA 12586 Posts |
Quote:
On 2011-07-23 18:58, tommy wrote: Now if you'd have named him Karl it may have been a different story. |
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EsnRedshirt Special user Newark, CA 895 Posts |
Quote:
On 2011-07-23 19:01, mastermindreader wrote: Or Groucho.
Self-proclaimed Jack-of-all-trades and google expert*.
* = Take any advice from this person with a grain of salt. |
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ed rhodes Inner circle Rhode Island 2885 Posts |
Quote:
On 2011-07-23 09:35, Dannydoyle wrote: Devil's Advocate here. Gardener's work, furniture people work, you (and I and every magician from her point of view) are playing with toys just like they did when they were kids. They honestly don't see what we're doing (or what YOU'RE doing, I haven't performed for money for years) as honestly anything more than a hobby.
"...and if you're too afraid of goin' astray, you won't go anywhere." - Granny Weatherwax
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