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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » For my buddy Andrew Z (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

MickeyPainless
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California
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Andrew,
My wife received this in an Email from one of her extremely liberal, Granola eating, Birkinstock and Tye dyed wearing best friends and I thought you'd get a kick out of it!

Mick

Doctors

(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.

(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians
per year are 120,000.

(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Now think about this:

Guns

(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000.

(Yes, that's 80 million)

(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.

(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .0000188

Statistics courtesy of FBI


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT

Almost everyone has at least one doctor.
This means you are over 9,000 times more likely to be killed by a doctor as by a gun owner!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Out of concern for the public at large, We withheld the statistics on lawyers (Sorry Wolfman) for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention!
gdw
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Lol.
It's amazing, people will criticize you for "biting the hand that feeds you," while they're busy praising the hand that beats them.

"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."

I won't forget you Robert.
MickeyPainless
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Inner circle
California
6074 Posts

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Andrew, I worked long and hard on the above post and you never even bothered to reply! Sheeesh! Smile

MMc
MickeyPainless
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California
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Andrew,

I'm feeling about as low as one can go right now as I was not aware of your loss! I am so sorry not only for the loss of your mother but also for what appears to be an extremely tasteless joke during this difficult time in your life! I hope you know me well enough to know I would never be so cold or cruel to post something like this had I known!

Please accept my sincerest apology for my poor timing and my deepest sympathy for you and your family!

My thoughts and prayers are with you my friend,

Mick
Andrew Zuber
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Los Angeles, CA
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Mick - you're a good guy! I've just been away from the Café for awhile due to everything happening here at home. Imagine my surprise when I pop in here and see my name! No hard feelings whatsoever Smile

This reminds me of a fact I give to people when I invite them to come flying with me and they say it makes them nervous: annually, more people are killed by donkeys than die in airplane crashes.

So basically, we've learned that if your doctor owns a gun or you're seated next to a donkey on an airplane, you're screwed.
"I'm sorry - if you were right, I would agree with you." -Robin Williams, Awakenings
Harry Murphy
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Maryland
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Dang! Now I have to sell my donkey! First my swimming pool, then my gun, now my donkey! What next? Oh, I never had a doctor now I have good reason not to get one. Don't you just love statistics that mean nothing?
The artist formally known as Mumblepeas!
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