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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Obsessive Compulsive Tenant, Please help? (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Devious
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I decided to rent out a spare bedroom in my home, to an older gentelman
on a month to month basis. He has started to rearrange and clean out
every single common area including the kitchen.

He notices every single item and it's placement in my home. If I move it, he asks why?
He has made my home remarkably tidy, but when he threw out an old rug and took out my
window screens to wash them out, I certainly raised an eyebrow.

Whilst I like having a much more efficient environment, He can't even stand flowers that
are only a few days old, if they aren't fresh. I have tried to get him to relax by telling
him to take a break and settle down. It seems that he is trying too hard by proving his worth.

I have been very patient and diplomatic, I may have made an error in
opening up my home to this otherwise nice fellow. I love anyone who takes initiative, but his seems excessive.

Does anyone have any advice for helping me to cope or not cope in this situation?
Devious Deceptions
"Gadol Elohai!"
L'Chaim!
mastermindreader
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You might want to look at it this way - you're getting free maid service along with the rental income.
Devious
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I'm taking an extended trip to Europe next month,
so I wanted someone to remain at my home.

The thought did occur to me Bob. I left a few dishes,
for the dish fairy in the sink as a trial run, and
sure enough, not 10 minutes later, "clean as a whistle".

I have never spent time with someone who is O.C.D.,
but I guess I'm going to learn up close and personal
during this little run.

I enjoyed watching your performances on YouTube Bob!
I thought you were much much older. Nice work guy!

signed,
Headed out for fresh flowers
Devious Deceptions
"Gadol Elohai!"
L'Chaim!
mastermindreader
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Thanks. Actually I AM a bit older. Those clips are about 8 years old.

Best-

Bob
Ray Tupper.
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Have you ever seen "Sleeping with the enemy"?
What do we want?
A cure for tourettes!
When do we want it?
C*nt!
tommy
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Devil’s Island
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If he has a size 8 hat, then buy an exact copy of it but a size 7 one. Switch them in and out, and so on. Which will not help but it will drive him mad.
If there is a single truth about Magic, it is that nothing on earth so efficiently evades it.

Tommy
Salguod Nairb
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Is this a permanent situation or temporary?
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness...
General_Magician
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I think you made an error renting your spare bedroom to this person Devious. He needs to focus on getting his OCD under control otherwise this could be destructive to himself and others. I don't know what kind of arrangement you have made with this individual, so you might have to check what the law says about evicting a tenant from your house whom has been paying rent to you. If you can, convince him to get help for his OCD and if he doesn't, stop renting to him and kick him out; otherwise, his OCD problem could bring you down along with himself.
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there is a light shining somewhere nearby." -unknown

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Devious
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Quote:
On 2011-12-06 13:06, Ray Tupper. wrote:
Have you ever seen "Sleeping with the enemy"?


No sir, but I'm not planning on sleeping with him guy...Lol.
Devious Deceptions
"Gadol Elohai!"
L'Chaim!
Pakar Ilusi
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I say wait it out and don't renew the agreement the coming month, if possible.

Best for everyone imho...
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
acesover
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I believe I have
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Quite honestly...Show him and let him read your original post.
If I were to agree with you. Then we would both be wrong. As of Apr 5, 2015 10:26 pm I have 880 posts. Used to have over 1,000
critter
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I don't see what the problem is. But, then again, I have OCD.
"The fool is one who doesn't know what you have just found out."
~Will Rogers
Devious
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He left me a Post-It-Note message today,
"Can someone please take out the trash, I did all of the dishes."

Who else is going to take out the trash?
The dog and myself are the only ones here.

Freakin' Post-It-Note messages are a pet peeve of mine..never liked them!
Arrghhh! I'm not a messy marvin, but I like to at least wait until the
trash bag is full...they aren't cheap ya' know.

I've never had a roommate before, and my girlfriend now says, that
I shouldn't complain because I'm "passive-agressive".
Sheesh! I mean WTF?
Devious Deceptions
"Gadol Elohai!"
L'Chaim!
Michael Baker
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Sounds like The Odd Couple.
~michael baker
The Magic Company
mastermindreader
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Yep. Sounds like he's found his very own Felix Unger.
General_Magician
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I googled up some of the causes of OCD and if this gentleman's OCD is due to biological factors in his brain, then he might need medication from a psychiatrist to treat this disorder. He will of course have to be willing to seek the help he needs in order to get this disorder treated.
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there is a light shining somewhere nearby." -unknown

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General_Magician
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When I was reading over the causes of OCD, I found this interesting part of the article:

Quote:
howtostopocd.com wrote:

Other researchers have shown that the way your family and friends respond to your compulsive behavior plays a part in how bad the problem gets. If they are too “forgiving,” in other words, they may be perpetuating your problem.

No one knows for sure exactly what causes OCD, and you can see from this article that there are quite a few potential catalysts depending on your personal circumstances. In some cases, it may be a combination of factors—which can be good news, because that means by confronting one cause or influence at a time, some peace is within reach.


http://www.howtostopocd.com/what-causes-ocd/
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there is a light shining somewhere nearby." -unknown

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Tom Jorgenson
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Get him 3 Reiki treatments, and throw him out as soon as you return.
We dance an invisible dance to music they cannot hear.
Devious
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I arrived home tonight, he has degreased my oven three times
according to him. He stated that it may need a few more passes to get
it just right. It was above average clean to begin with mind you.

I'm not making any of this up. I hope that by posting my experience,
I will learn more of this compulsion and perhaps help someone else
who may be experiencing this behaviour with a spouse or loved one.
Fortunately for myself this is only a temporary living arrangement.

In the meantime, I explained that if he planned on getting into a
major project in my home, to give me a heads up on his plans.

Whilst I post this, I can hear him banging away in my cupboards
rearranging kitchen items.

In the interests of gleaning some insight into this behaviour,
I am posting some of his characteristics. They may or not be
relevant.


  • Coffee Drinker
  • Smoker
  • Above average intelligence
  • Hearing impairment related to prior military service
  • Overweight
  • Doesn't drive
  • Mortgage Broker
  • Caucasian
  • Doesn't overeat
  • Displays no sign of substance abuse
  • Very hygienic
  • Very social
  • Upbeat
  • "SeaPath" machine user to control snoring due to sleep apnea
  • Great sense of humour

He is an overall a decent guy, so I'm trying to cope as best as possible.
Perhaps you could say, that I couldn't have asked for a better tenant.
In that case, it would be I, who needed an adjustment, meaning he was sent
into my life to teach me something new.

I want to thank each of your for your replies, including the jestful ones.
I'd never seen "The Odd Couple". We didn't have television in our home as a child.
I enjoyed watching the YouTube clips due to your mentioning of that programme.
I only wished that I had known of them sooner.

I must laugh as I near the end of my post, he is still cleaning the kitchen area
and just requested a ladder to clean the top of my fridge.

Signed,
I loved the "Let's Make A Deal" episode of "The Odd Couple" best!
Devious Deceptions
"Gadol Elohai!"
L'Chaim!
MobilityBundle
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Your problem falls in a very general category: the "I don't like my roommate/tenant" category.

The only definitive answer is to get a new tenant. If this guy is on a month to month lease, then that won't be hard.

If that sounds like overkill, then that's okay. In that case, I recommend just learning to live with him. Identify specific things that bug you the most and when possible, make compromises. When not possible, unfortunately, just bite your tongue.

But if your strategy is to identify some root cause in him of your problems and then try to fix the root cause, I suspect that's not going to work. Whether he's OCD in a clinical sense or just highly fastidious, he is who he is. He's a grown man, and he's not going to change his behavior unless he really wants to. And if it IS OCD, then it's going to take a lot more effort than you're probably willing to put in.

So by all means, have a serious talk with him. Think about the things he does that bug you, ask if there are things you do that bug him, and try to reach a workable compromise. Otherwise, time for a new tenant.
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