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wally Inner circle 1828 Posts |
Spikes through arm for kids shows ????
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Gerry Walkowski Inner circle 1450 Posts |
Arthur,
I have to admit, I think even the best children's entertainer in the world would have been thrown for a loop facing the same situation. Sometimes your mind just can't think fast enough for a comeback line or a moment of great wisdom. The key thing is to learn something from this and move on with your life. Years ago I used to use the old bit about "Put this knot under your pillow and tomorrow when you wake up you'll find a dollar bill in its place, Just remember to tell you mother that I said that." Somewhere along the way a child mentioned that he/she didn't have a mother or father during one of my shows. It was at that point I changed my wording to "Mother or Father," figuring that the child had to have at least one parent that was alive or living in their household. Since I no longer do rope tricks, I just don't use that joke anymore. Still, these days with so many divorces and folks just living together I always play it safe when making a reference (if I even do this) about a child's parents especially at non-birthday party shows. Hope this helps. Gerry |
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TonyB2009 Inner circle 5006 Posts |
Here is how I imagine I would have handled the situation. I would immediately have stopped performing and told the children that their chanting was hurtful and inappropriate. If the boy had stormed off the stage by that stage, I would have taken a break and followed and would not return until I was sure he was calm and in control of himself again. If he had not stormed off the stage I would have knelt in front of him, had a quiet comforting word, then, as Frank said, do something to make him the big man of the show.
Mentally I could not have switched off from the child's pain and continued with the show. I am not saying that is right or wrong, just I know I have a soft spot for kids, and I would have had to deal with that kid right now, and that would be more important to me than the show at that point.
Check out Tony's new thriller Dead or Alive http://www.amazon.co.uk/Alive-Varrick-Bo......n+carson
http://www.PartyMagic.ie |
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A Show By Joe Elite user Long Island 405 Posts |
That is a horrible situation to be in. My feeling would have been that because the kids were in 1st and 2nd grade, that they weren't being nessacerily mean, but were eager to tell you something first and with the most info they had. At this age, they were probably trying to out do each other. Non the less, I would have clamped my hands to get them to stop. I would have spoke to the boy, kneeling down to make eye contact, to tell him I was sorry. I would then actually thank the kids for the info, and then try to start all over by making the boy star. I would probably have the boy stay for another trick. I would definally try to have him leave with a standing ovation by doing whatever I could do.
This is the one of the worst things that can happen short of physically hurting a child. I will make sure to be careful how I talk to kids after reading this post. |
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harris Inner circle Harris Deutsch 8812 Posts |
Being in the moment, a worker will never know what will come up.
Just when I think I have heard everything, something new comes up. Along with the specific situation, this is an example of kids joining in something. One of the toughest days, I have had in my current job, is the day one of students was killed on the way to school. If one doesn't know what to say, just saying I don't know, or taking a few seconds of silence. Death is something that is not easy to handle. It is one of the things I do at 2 schools. Many trained counselors do not get into the area grief counseling. I am guessing there was a teacher, administrator, or counselor that met with the student after he left the stage. Each of us entertainers would handle the situation based on who they are off and on stage. We will also use that experience and adapt(or not) a particular routine. Back in my "rookie" days, I saw someone in suspenders. I said, "Nice braces". The crowd did a soft moan..and I looked down and saw the braces on his legs. I can't remember what I said at the time, but I do know it would be different these days. I am not opposed to use the words I am sorry....and to ask if the student wanted to continue...and respect his wishes. The fact that you are sharing and looking for support tells me you programs are much more than just the great music you produce. Be safe, well and creative. Harris staying green to grow...
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com music, magic and marvelous toys http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u |
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Ed_Millis Inner circle Yuma, AZ 2292 Posts |
I'm wondering what age these chanting kids were, and at what age the kids become concious of "bullying". In their young "me-first" immaturity, kids are naturally cruel without meaning to be. They just know something is funny, or the group is doing this, or a certain action will somehow get them a good feeling; rarely does it even enter their mind how the other child will feel. Were these kids able to discern that they were hurting the other child? And were they doing it deliberately?
That wouldn't have made any difference to the child's pain, but it might make a difference in how "sternly" the other kids are "dealt with". And how far are we supposed to / allowed to get involved in this? In my area, many teachers take a very dim view of "untrained non-professionals" getting involved with "their" kids. (One teacher flat told me, "I'm a teacher my training - you're just a parent by accident!") If I'm hired only to entertain, and I'm not presenting any kind of program that would deal with character or bullying, at what point might I cross the line into forbidden territory? Then again, that question can probably be asked only in an aftermath analysis. In the moment, you just do what your heart tells you and your brain frozen in the crash of a derailed script will let you. I hope I could respond with sympathy and empowerment, as many here have posted. Ed |
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Dynamike Eternal Order FullTimer 24148 Posts |
Quote:
On 2012-02-29 15:42, arthur stead wrote: What I would have done would have ended me up in jail. |
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TomBoleware Inner circle Hattiesburg, Ms 3163 Posts |
I think Ed makes a good point. Entertainers are hired to entertain. Even those with a themed show such as bullying, etc, are only hired to support what the 'teachers' are already teaching. Teachers don't expect entertainers to counsel or discipline children. Those who do wander off into a teachers role to far are walking on thin ice.
I agree that we all can look back and see an answer, but in that split second we don't have time to think. At my preschool last week we had a small group of four year olds on the playground chanting a curse word. They had no idea what the word meant or where it came from, they just knew it got attention and they were loving it for a few moments. Kids learn from their mistakes and it's doubtful they will stop learning soon. Tom
The Daycare Magician Book
https://www.vanishingincmagic.com/amazekids/the-daycare-magician/ My Blog - https://boleware.blogspot.com/ |
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harris Inner circle Harris Deutsch 8812 Posts |
Kids handle death differently as we adults do. I am guessing this thread itself, is hitting some of us on a deeper emotional level that others. The instance your patter triggered, may be something that kids had been thinking about and not felt ok to verbalize. Having them all do it at the same time, is not something you/or other performers would look forward to.
One of the theme programs I have used is from tears to laughter. There is a point in the grief process that one feels guilty about enjoying laughter. Another unspoken fear is could this happen to some of your audience's mothers. Another thing is it may have brought back emotions in kids that have already had loved ones die, or may currently have very ill grand or great grand parents. Harris still 2 old to know everything.
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com music, magic and marvelous toys http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u |
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arthur stead Inner circle When I played soccer, I hit 1773 Posts |
Just for the record: My spike arm illusion is presented in a comedic way. Initially, the presumed element of danger grabs the children's attention. But then they soon realize that it's all in fun, with a lot of zany gags and groaners (for the adults) thrown in along the way.
That's what so sad about this: My volunteer was having a great time. I was making him look like a hero, and I could sense that he appreciated that. The taunting only started near the end of the routine. As mentioned before, I was not prepared for such cruelty emanating from the mouths of 6 and 7 year olds. It momentarily "froze" my brain. It all happened so fast. Before I could say anything, the boy shot me a tearful look, janked his arm out of the prop, and ran out the back door of the hall. I'm not obsessing about this incident. These things happen. We learn from these experiences, and move on. A secondary reason why I posted this is so that other performers can take the necessary precautions ... in particular when mentioning a child's parents. So, thank you all for your responses. A real mixed bag of theories: Some folks are in favor of admonishing the kids. Others are completely against that idea. I tend to agree that entertainers shouldn't interfere with teachers' jobs. My job as a school show performer is to entertain and inspire the kids. I am their welcome break from hours and hours of teaching. And even though my routines are educational, they are structured so that the kids don't even realize they are learning something! There is another thing to consider (and this is something I learned years ago): In your onstage persona, you are engaging and amusing and magical and charming to the kids. In their eyes, you are "Mr. Wonderful" (or "Mrs or Miss Wonderful"). But when you change from this endearing character to someone who scolds children, the entire audience will turn against you. Suddenly, you are perceived as the bad guy; a mean character. And from that point on, it's going to be very, very hard to win the crowd back. |
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TonyB2009 Inner circle 5006 Posts |
Quote:
On 2012-03-01 09:42, Ed_Millis wrote: The problem with this is that we are human first, performers second. And what sort of a human would I be if I walked away from a situation because it was not my place to deal with it. If I walk away because I believe it is the best response, and I know the situation will be handled properly, that is one thing. I can respect that position. But to walk away because that is not what I am hired for is not me. We do bear some responsibility beyond the responsibility to keep the kids laughing.
Check out Tony's new thriller Dead or Alive http://www.amazon.co.uk/Alive-Varrick-Bo......n+carson
http://www.PartyMagic.ie |
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Dennis Michael Inner circle Southern, NJ 5821 Posts |
This happened to me when I was Santa Claus. I quickly learned to use the word "Folks" instead of Mom or Dad.
I said "You got to try to help Mom and Dad around the house..." In my situation she said, "You know my Dad is dead. I told you last year." The word Folks never went wrong for me.
Dennis Michael
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Potty the Pirate Inner circle 4632 Posts |
"Folks" is a good American term which I learned on my first day aboard a cruise ship. Not only would it save the situation as Dennis just explained, but it's also a polite and civil way to refer to any group of people.
Like so many Americanisms, it also works just swell in the UK too these days. :) |
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magicgeorge Inner circle Belfast 4299 Posts |
What a horrible incident. Poor kid, poor you. I think that would've definitely thrown me too.
On the rare occasions kids decide to chant I usually do a silly dance to it which causes them to laugh and breaks the chant. Which obviously would be inappropriate in this situation. I think I would hopefully have done something like Tony suggested and break character and address the issue seriously. I wonder if the children where trying to rib you for not knowing rather than upset the child? I too tread carefully when it comes to mentioning parents. I made a similair mistake a couple of weeks ago jokingly saying "sorry, to hear about your uncle" to a boy and it turned out his uncle had actually died recently. Whoops |
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Potty the Pirate Inner circle 4632 Posts |
Love the dancing idea George. Can I steal that? I think I can turn one of my routines around with that ploy, and wind the kids up more than usual.
:) |
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magicgeorge Inner circle Belfast 4299 Posts |
Sure, work away there PTP. I just see it as a solution to a problem rather than a bit but if it gives you a good idea, go for it!
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