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Cheshire Cat Special user Wilmslow, UK 941 Posts |
Not everyone may wish to participate in this thread, but . . .
When you signed up to being a Children's Entertainer you signed into one of the most pleasurable occupations on the face of the earth. If you do it full time you lose the "rat-race". You don't just look forwards to Friday night as every day in your life is fun. But every coin has a flip side. You signed up to the fact that you never cancel anything as long as you can stand up and are not contagious to others. You take a couple of ibuprofen tablets and just get on with things however unwell you feel. Now onto the really "hurty" stuff. Apart from the crucial moments, you have to carry on working through personal tragedies - bereavement, family crisis, - even the loss of a pet can hurt if you have to work a couple of hours later. Anything to share on this topic? Ok, I'll go first. Attending hospital for 9 months every day but one to see my mother who was left severely disabled by a stroke. Fitting in the visits around bookings. Then the night she died we went out to fulfil a Christmas Party about 3 hours later. We were expecting her death so obviously were prepared emotionally as far as possible. My wife will have to face the same one day as her parents are both getting very old now. Our 17 year old son disappeared out of our lives for nearly three years until a few weeks before his 20th birthday. Internet romance with some horrible girl from a horrible family the other side of Britain. The Law protected his privacy as an adult. We knew he was far from being an adult! Didn't know whether he was alive or dead - paid for a private detective on one occasion just to find out about him. Endless sleepless nights, emotions torn to shreds. Had to get up the following morning to be a jolly Uncle and Auntie at kids parties. Not easy eh? (Ever wished you were a joiner and just had to face pieces of wood each day instead of people?) But this goes with the territory of being an entertainer. They expect, and are paying for, happiness at an event. It is your duty to fulfil this irrespective of your own personal circumstances. Clowns with makeup may be able to hide a bit behind this, but generally speaking you have to be a darn good actor during these awful times in your life. Another point here. We don't mix with other entertainers in our location - never. But whenever called upon to help another entertainer out at a crisis point in their life, by filling in a booking (if available) - we've always done so without hesitation. A basic honourable thing to do. Over to you . . . T. |
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ColinDymond Special user Gloucestershire, England 675 Posts |
One thing I was reminded of when I was going through some family troubles was that some of the children your are entertaining might be going through the same and the hour that you are with them might be their only respite from it.
I have only cancelled one gig and that was the morning that my sister in law was dying and I needed to take my children up to see her and to be with my wife. I could not believe the reaction I had from the birthday child's parents, on that day they didn't have an entertainer but we lost a central part of our family. I let them know as soon as I could and I tried that morning to get a replacement. I had several phone calls from them in the next few day asking if I'd sent back their deposit. In the end I sent them back a cheque with the payee left blank with a not saying they could keep the money or give it to a cancer charity and hoped they would never need the help. We never cancel, we always do our best but we are all human.
Colin Dymond
www.aceofdiamonds.co.uk |
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Sam Sandler Inner circle 2487 Posts |
I hear ya! I have faced many many difficulties over the last 15 years -more then any man should have to endure. thru it all I have kept on the "happy" face in all my shows. actually performing my shows many times was the one key to helping me thru these tuff times
the audience never knows what is really going on in my life and as Colin pointed out we don't know what is going on in theirs. I agree the show must go on - to a point. there are times that you must put your family first and let the show go. more then 20 years ago I wrote a poem about when the music fades and the show is over that we "the Entertainers" are then alone. who is there to bring us a smile or lift our spirits. it is our family our friends therefore we must be willing to step aside or make the time to spend with them even if it means turning down a show. I can not imagine being on my death bed saying wish I had done more shows verses spending more time with my daughter. even tonight although not a show I am turning down a disc golf competition that I signed up for because my daughter is having a dance at school tonight, it is much more important that I be here and help her get ready and take those pictures. that is where the memories are at. I will say that yes being a family entertainer is the best thing in the world and I love the fact that I get to lift the spirits of every one in attendance at my shows. what a joy we have being able to use our talents to bring this excitement, laughter, and joy to others. sam
sam sandler- America's only full-time DEAF Illusionist
http://www.samsandler.com http://www.deafinitelymagic.com |
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Ed_Millis Inner circle Yuma, AZ 2292 Posts |
Last Friday, I was in the Emergency Room. I hoped to be out that night so I could do a birthday party Saturday. I called the mother and left a voice message. That afternoon I was admitted, with surgery scheduled for the next day (gall bladder). I called and had to leave another message that I wouldn't be there.
A few hours later, the mother calls to confirm my show - she has not listened to her voice mails. When I explain the situation, she is distraught. Her husband is more understanding, but still wondering how soon they can get a refund of their prepayment. At that moment I understood that I am not a person - I am a company. They are emotionally invested in their child and the party - I am simply a tool they are using to build a wonderful time. Tools do not have bad days and emotional feelings; they perform their designed task and then forgotten, or are considered broken and then discarded. I exist to support them, or I don't exist at all. To the customer, I have no life or reality apart from their need and occasion. Ed |
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harris Inner circle Harris Deutsch 8812 Posts |
The only time I have had to cancel over the last 10 years, was when my wife went in for emergency gall bladder surgery.
Two years ago, we were blessed to have Annie's mom, Ruth, with us in our home for pallative and hospice. Yes we are human. love Harris
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com music, magic and marvelous toys http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u |
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Al Angello Eternal Order Collegeville, Pa. USA 11045 Posts |
I was hit by a car, and while I was in the emergency room I contacted my magician friends to cover me for about 6 upcoming jobs.
I missed my aunt's funeral because of a prior commitment. I had emergency open heart surgery at Christmas time and I gave my wife a list of 12 gigs that she had to find magicians to cover me for me. I was lucky enough to be available for both of my parents funerals. I tossed my cookies in a country club parking lot then I went inside to do a birthday party, afterward I went home and got in bed. We only work two days a week, and we should never make excuses.
Al Angello The Comic Juggler/Magician
http://www.juggleral.com http://home.comcast.net/~juggleral/ "Footprints on your ceiling are almost gone" |
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Cheshire Cat Special user Wilmslow, UK 941 Posts |
Ah, great feedback. I especially read into Colin and Ed's posts, although all hit the nail on the head.
Our first child, way back in 1985. Cancelled a party to be with my wife at the birth. Tried to get a replacement - no luck! Sent the little girl a cash token for her parents to buy her something. Never got a reply, never got a congratulations on your new baby message off them. Around the same time I had an Agent wanting to re-negotiate a string of dates at holiday/vacation resorts because only I would be attending. He was only paying for one person to start with! I told him he could have his dates back. He backed down. Second child born 1991 - I took 3 weeks off!! In the later 1990s I remember covering for another entertainer at a Birthday. His mother had died and it was the funeral. The Customer disgusted me by saying I was much better than him and she was pleased I'd been able to come instead (words fail me). Yes, there are lots of entertainers out there who damage the business through unreliability and being hopelessly awful, - but maybe some parents simply get what they deserve . . . T. |
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Andrew Loyal user 285 Posts |
My precious wife of 25 years passed away after battling cancer for 10 months. That evening I had my regular gig at a local Pizza Hut and the manager was completely understanding when I called to cancel.
That weekend, after the funeral, I had two shows that I considered canceling, but at our last Christmas together, my wife had given me a book and in it she had written, "Keep on doing your magic...you make so many people happy! Love Debbie". With that in my mind and heart, I choked back my tears, put on my "Entertainer Face" and the shows went on. That's what we do. andrew |
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Al Angello Eternal Order Collegeville, Pa. USA 11045 Posts |
Andrew
That story makes mine sound trivial.
Al Angello The Comic Juggler/Magician
http://www.juggleral.com http://home.comcast.net/~juggleral/ "Footprints on your ceiling are almost gone" |
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Andrew Loyal user 285 Posts |
Al,
I know what you mean. I would have said the same thing. Losing my best friend and wife sure put everything else in my life into proper perspective. Then again, I did some shows for a few schools in Honduras not long ago and when I saw the poverty there, I realized how blessed I am. andrew |
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Cheshire Cat Special user Wilmslow, UK 941 Posts |
Andrew, thank you for sharing. Sincerely - Tony.
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keeblem Inner circle Essex, UK 1167 Posts |
I had a show the day my mum died (after a long battle with cancer). I didn't cancel. I'm not sure if it was the right decision. I think my mum would have wanted me to carry on. But I'm not sure.
Mark |
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TonyB2009 Inner circle 5006 Posts |
I fell down a stairs and snapped my achilles tendon. I was in plaster, on crutches and in great pain the following day. A friend drove me to my gigs. I arrived at one and explained that I would have to modify my show, and would not be able to get into the Barney suit for them. One of them could do it if they liked. (I don't do Barney any more - that was when I was trying everything). The father hit the roof, complete nutter who didn't care that I was on one leg. So I got into the Barney suit and danced with the kids, in absolute agony.
The following year he rang to book me again, but I told him to hump off. Life is too short. Bereavements, severe illnesses, and traffic accidents do happen. On the few occasions I have always replaced myself. But it constantly surprises me how unforgiving, cold and heartless people can be.
Check out Tony's new thriller Dead or Alive http://www.amazon.co.uk/Alive-Varrick-Bo......n+carson
http://www.PartyMagic.ie |
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Michael Messing Inner circle Knoxville, TN 1817 Posts |
I've been fortunate in that I haven't had to be away when serious health issues have arisen with family but I have had to be the one to pull out of performances for my own health crises. The first time was 13 years ago when I found out on very short notice that I had to have surgery to remove a benign tumor from my spinal cord. I was in the middle of doing a series of shows for a women's social & service organization and had to make arrangements for some friends to fill in and unfortunately had to cancel some of them. The ladies were very understanding. It was just tough to make the calls because I really hadn't had enough time to deal with my circumstances.
My most recent situation occurred yesterday when some issues I was having got to the point where I decided I needed to go to the emergency room. I had to postpone three library shows for a library system I have been working with for 13 years. They were extremely concerned for my health and didn't complain in the least that I couldn't perform. (The good news is that my symptoms were not due to a heart problem, which is what I feared. I even made it back home after a day of all kinds of testing.) The most difficult performance was 2 1/2 years ago when I found out I had prostate cancer just an hour before performing for a Cub Scout troop. Again, I had not had the opportunity to deal with the emotions of the diagnosis. The good news is that the show got my mind completely off of my problems and made it an easier night. I think I would have been far more depressed had I stayed at home. (I had surgery to remove my prostate a short time later and am clear of cancer.) |
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kimmo Inner circle Sheffield 1193 Posts |
My father died on the 14th of December, right in the middle of the Christmas rush. Up to that point, I had been doing three to five shows a day and then spending all evening at his bedside in Ashgate hospice, Chesterfield. I ended up cancelling just one show (although I offered a free one next term) , so that I could attend his funeral and support my mother. The school I cancelled spread the word that I had 'let them down' and they never had me back.
VISIT MY ONLINE STORE!: www.kimmomagicshop.com
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Steven True Special user Bonney Lake,WA 765 Posts |
Wow after reading all the stories on here it made me ask myself if I truly wanted to go full time now that I am out of work. I can say that yes I do want to. As I read everyones posts it make me glad to call myself an entertainer. The show must always go on but there are the limitations. My father is in his 80's and I don't know how much longer he has left, not in great health. I remember reading a story about Lou Costello when him and Bud Abbott were working the Kate Smith radio show. Just before they were to go on and do their routine Lou got a call that his son drowned in the family pool just min. before. He went on and did the show and collapsed after their bit. Some people take the show must go on idea to new levels but it is different for each and everyone of us. I see through these posts some wonderfully dedicated performers out there that I am proud to be a part of. Thank you for your posts and would love to read more stories.
Steven |
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Cheshire Cat Special user Wilmslow, UK 941 Posts |
As the originator of this thread and an 'old pro' (well Jimmy Carter was in the White House and Jim Callaghan in no. 10 Downing Street when we started), even myself and Sue are taken aback by what we have read here.
Thanks anyhow. I'm not just saying this to bump up the thread. I think we all are maybe a bit wiser (?) Tony |
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harris Inner circle Harris Deutsch 8812 Posts |
Getting ready to do a gig in a little bit. Before booking it on this date, I checked with my lovely wife. You see it is also our anniversary.
We celebrated this morning and will continue celebrating the rest of the month. It is good to have a wife with an understanding and theatrical attitude in her background. A few years ago, I did a repeat gig at a location, while Annie was in the hospital. The consumer who hired me said, the people loved it, but I could tell it wasn't your A ++ game. Harris balancing our art and the rest of our lives is at times "tricky"
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com music, magic and marvelous toys http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u |
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magicgeorge Inner circle Belfast 4299 Posts |
Fortunately I have not lost any of my immediate family or close friends, so I don't know how I will cope when that happens.
S'pose the saddest things that have happened to me was my cat dying. Which I did find very upsetting. I was pretty miserable the whole day but was doing a comedy gig that evening and even joked about it. After the gig I went back to being sad. On a brighter note, I've been very happy in my personal life recently and have noticed and improvement in my shows. I guess being genuinely happy is more convincing than pretending to be. |
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Bill Hilly Elite user 449 Posts |
I postponed and rescheduled two elementary schools. One was when I burned my leg with 3rd degree burns. It was in the evening and I had 2 shows the nest day. I called the principal at home and he was very understanding. The second time I had the flu and was infectious. I called the PTA rep. and she too understood. Both were rescheduled without problems.
I had a bar gig once when I had to go just minutes after a loved one died. I will never do that again. In two of those cases it was a very last minute type of thing. The flu was two days notice. In cases of personal injury, illness, or death of a loved one, I will postpone/reschedule/cancel and/or find a replacement if possible. My wellbeing has to come first. I completely understand and fully support all who choose to go on with the show. It's just my choice after trying it that I (most likely) won't do it again. Yes, it's my livelihood and all that, and what I do is almost inseparable from who I am, but it also is only business; it's not life. Just the humble opinion of, - B.H. |
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