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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » The spooky, the mysterious...the bizarre! » » Just in case you wondered where the H*LL we're going... (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

SpellbinderEntertainment
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The 9 levels of Hell

Purgatory~
You have escaped ***ation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.

Level 1 - Limbo~
Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabouts many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptized children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad.

Level 2~
You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.

Level 3~
In the third circle, you find yourself amidst eternal rain, maledict, cold, and heavy. The gluttons are punished here, lying in the filthy mixture of shadows and of putrid water. Because you consumed in excess, you meet your fate beneath the cold, dirty rain, amidst the other souls that there lay unhappily in the stinking mud. Cerebus, a canine monster cruel and uncouth with his three heads and red eyes, dwells in this level. He growls and tears at the ***ed with his teeth and claws.

Level 4~
Just before the river Styx is the Fourth Level of Hell. Here, the prodigal and the avaricious suffer their punishment, as they roll weights back and forth against one another. You will share eternal ***ation with others who either wasted and lived greedily and insatiably, or who stockpiled their fortunes, hoarding everything and sharing nothing. Plutus, the wolf-like demon of wealth, dwells here.

Level 5~
The river Styx runs through this level of Hell, and in it are punished the wrathful and the gloomy. The former are forever lashing out at each other in anger, furious and naked, tearing each other piecemeal with their teeth. The latter are gurgling in the black mud, slothful and sullen, withdrawn from the world. Their lamentations bubble to the surface as they try to repeat a doleful hymn, though with unbroken words they cannot say it. Because you lived a cruel, vindictive and hateful life, you meet your fate in the Styx.

Level 6 - The City of Dis~
You approach Satan's wretched city where you behold a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. Before you are fields full of distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful sighs. You will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell.

Level 7~
Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assassins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgment, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.

Level 8- the Malebolge~
Many and varied sinners suffer eternally in the multi-leveled Malebolge, an ampitheatre shaped pit of despair Wholly of stone and of an iron color: Those guilty of fraudulence and malice; the seducers and pimps, who are whipped by horned demons; the hypocrites, who struggle to walk in lead-lined cloaks; the barraters, who are ducked in boiling pitch by demons known as the Malebranche. The simonists, wedged into stone holes, and whose feet are licked by flames, kick and writhe desperately. The magicians, diviners, fortune tellers, and panderers are all here, as are the thieves. Some wallow in human excrement. Serpents writhe and wrap around men, sometimes fusing into each other. Bodies are torn apart. When you arrive, you will want to put your hands over your ears because of the lamentations of the sinners here, who are afflicted with scabs like leprosy, and lay sick on the ground, furiously scratching their skin off with their nails. Indeed, justice divine doth smite them with its hammer.

Level 9 - Cocytus~
This is the deepest level of hell, where the fallen angel Satan himself resides. His wings flap eternally, producing chilling cold winds that freeze the thick ice found in Cocytus. The three faces of Satan, black, red, and yellow, can be seen with mouths gushing bloody foam and eyes forever weeping, as they chew on the three traitors, Judas, Brutus, and Cassius. This place is furthest removed from the source of all light and warmth. Sinners here are frozen deep in the ice, faces out, eyes and mouths frozen shut. Traitors against God, country, family, and benefactors lament their sins in this frigid pit of despair.
“Tales of Enchantment: The Art of Magic”
by Walt Anthony
www.LeapingLizardsMagic.com

"spinning tales and weaving enchantment"
ThatsJustWrong!
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Awesome, Walt, but you missed the most Hellish of them all:

Level 10 - Walmart~
Utterly miserable and without hope are those found in this deepest sewer where those who dined at Chick-fil-A or wore white after Labor Day suffer the greatest dangnation. Dessicated emphysemics and Mormon missionaries haunt this plane where the sinners, clad only in NASCAR tshirts and Crocs spend eternity on express lines behind demons with sixteen items or wandering the aisles without aid of scooters because the batteries are all dead and the charging outlets do not work. It is a place of eternal price checks where none have their flesh torn by the teeth of another for no such things exist; suffering instead the indignity of being gummed by mullet-coiffed yokels while gasping at empty portabe oxygen systems. Mournful are they who wander these aisles pushing colossal stone wagons with a bad wheel, where everything they require is eternally on the other side of the boundless store. Dale Earnhardt, Jim Nabors and Lindsey Lohan dwell here where the Prince of Darkness dares not tread.
Joe Leo

All entertainers can benefit from some help from an experienced stage director. How about you?

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Andy_Bell
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I thought "the Malebolge" was an area of France, Having read that description I really don't think the wife will like it to much even if it is all inclusive. I knew we should have gone to Cornwall....
I was put on this earth to do a great many things..... I'm now so far behind that I don't think I'm ever going to die!
Balaram
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Quote:
On 2012-07-25 12:38, that'sJustWrong! wrote:
Awesome, Walt, but you missed the most Hellish of them all:

Level 10 - Walmart~
Utterly miserable and without hope are those found in this deepest sewer where those who dined at Chick-fil-A or wore white after Labor Day suffer the greatest dangnation. Dessicated emphysemics and Mormon missionaries haunt this plane where the sinners, clad only in NASCAR tshirts and Crocs spend eternity on express lines behind demons with sixteen items or wandering the aisles without aid of scooters because the batteries are all dead and the charging outlets do not work. It is a place of eternal price checks where none have their flesh torn by the teeth of another for no such things exist; suffering instead the indignity of being gummed by mullet-coiffed yokels while gasping at empty portabe oxygen systems. Mournful are they who wander these aisles pushing colossal stone wagons with a bad wheel, where everything they require is eternally on the other side of the boundless store. Dale Earnhardt, Jim Nabors and Lindsey Lohan dwell here where the Prince of Darkness dares not tread.

My hat is doffed, sir Smile
SpellbinderEntertainment
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Thank the powers that be there are NOT 12 levels of hell!

After reading the 10th above, I shudder with horror.
I think I prefer Lovecraft to Dante…

I have been there in my nightmares…
I do not wish to dwell in the caverns of blue-light specials either.

If there is a corner for Bizarre Magicians,
would it be an eternal IBM/SAM meeting specializing in card slights???

Magically,
Walt
“Tales of Enchantment: The Art of Magic”
by Walt Anthony
www.LeapingLizardsMagic.com

"spinning tales and weaving enchantment"
ThatsJustWrong!
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Quote:
On 2012-07-25 19:53, SpellbinderEntertainment wrote:
If there is a corner for Bizarre Magicians,
would it be an eternal IBM/SAM meeting specializing in card slights???


Yes, and organized at Blackpool with all the toilets cordoned off as HAZMAT sites and the venue for Salvation is constantly moving without notifying the attendees/damnees.
Joe Leo

All entertainers can benefit from some help from an experienced stage director. How about you?

www.MisfitMysteries.com
ThatsJustWrong!
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We're going to need an 11th and 12th Level, Walt because the Level for Mentalists and Bizarrists is obviously 13 Steps below the others...
Joe Leo

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David Thiel
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Geez, Joe...

That Wal Mart level of Hell made me laugh out loud. So content yourself with the thought that there's a guy in a seedy hotel in Watson Lake, Yukon wiping spit out Muesli off of his laptop.

David
Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except bears. Bears will kill you.


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ThatsJustWrong!
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Quote:
On 2012-07-29 12:57, David Thiel wrote:
Geez, Joe...

That Wal Mart level of Hell made me laugh out loud. So content yourself with the thought that there's a guy in a seedy hotel in Watson Lake, Yukon wiping spit out Muesli off of his laptop.

David


My life is now complete. Hope you're having a great vacation!
Joe Leo

All entertainers can benefit from some help from an experienced stage director. How about you?

www.MisfitMysteries.com
MatCult
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"Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business."
Steve_Mollett
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Quote:
On 2012-07-25 19:53, SpellbinderEntertainment wrote:
Thank the powers that be there are NOT 12 levels of hell!

After reading the 10th above, I shudder with horror.
I think I prefer Lovecraft to Dante…

I have been there in my nightmares…
I do not wish to dwell in the caverns of blue-light specials either.

If there is a corner for Bizarre Magicians,
would it be an eternal IBM/SAM meeting specializing in card slights???

Magically,
Walt

There, poofy-haired demons in black suits and no ties perform card and coin sleights to The Tijuana Brass while looking down their long, pinched noses at the condemned.
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
- Albert Camus
Dougini
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`Sheesh~! This bring a new definition to the phrase, "Well, I'll be .damned..."

Doug
chmara
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Hell encompasses the world, or the world encompasses hell.

Levels of hell? They differ if you are married (or partnered), live in an urban area or really, really like card tricks and groove on how many ways you can demonstrate a double lift.

But real hell -- and perceived hell can only be felt by a performer as he/she realizes in the middle of a performance he/she forgot to switch on the essential electronics or put fresh batteries in place and all the dramatic climaxes of the performance are triggered electronics. A second level can be founding those who have been performing straight magic in a brand new tuxedo whilst doing silk to egg -- and realizing the egg left in a pocket has shattered into a scrambled, gooey mess and is starting to drip through the material. The last level, of course is reserved for those who have experience a spiker or Death Trap type of russian roulette -- and misread of do not get the proper tell -- and continue to perform the smashed needed.

I guess the only thing that could top these is for every Wall-mart greeter to be a card worker who insists on showing each person at least one trick as they get a cart -- OR -- a world without the magic of magick.
Gregg (C. H. Mara) Chmara

Commercial Operations, LLC

Tucson, AZ



C. H. Mara Illusion & Psychic Entertainments
necroloid
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Quote:
On 2012-07-25 12:38, that'sJustWrong! wrote:
Awesome, Walt, but you missed the most Hellish of them all:

Level 10 - Walmart~
Utterly miserable and without hope are those found in this deepest sewer where those who dined at Chick-fil-A or wore white after Labor Day suffer the greatest dangnation. Dessicated emphysemics and Mormon missionaries haunt this plane where the sinners, clad only in NASCAR tshirts and Crocs spend eternity on express lines behind demons with sixteen items or wandering the aisles without aid of scooters because the batteries are all dead and the charging outlets do not work. It is a place of eternal price checks where none have their flesh torn by the teeth of another for no such things exist; suffering instead the indignity of being gummed by mullet-coiffed yokels while gasping at empty portabe oxygen systems. Mournful are they who wander these aisles pushing colossal stone wagons with a bad wheel, where everything they require is eternally on the other side of the boundless store. Dale Earnhardt, Jim Nabors and Lindsey Lohan dwell here where the Prince of Darkness dares not tread.
. LOL!!! Quoted you on Facebook. This is too good not to be shared!!
Godzilla
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I have a bigger concern on ...Where the Hell,I'm not going!
"If you watch Godzilla backwards, it's about a big ass lizard who helps rebuild a half burnt-down city, then moonwalks back into the ocean"
Dougini
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I wonder what level of hell THIS is:

When you are the Finale. The lights change, the music starts, and you start performing the Zombie. It all goes well until the end...the cloth snags on the gimmick, and the thing POPS up into view, ball-on-a-stick! You sheepishly slink off, as peals of laughter echo through the auditorium. You are ejected from your state magic club. Hell? I didn't perform after that for several years...
Godzilla
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To Error, is human...To not,is Divine!

What does not kill you,makes you stronger! Smile
"If you watch Godzilla backwards, it's about a big ass lizard who helps rebuild a half burnt-down city, then moonwalks back into the ocean"
Steve_Mollett
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What does not kill you, leaves you crippled. Smile
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
- Albert Camus
Dougini
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That was 1979...I still will not perform on stage today. Yup...crippled. Smile

Doug
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