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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Too ridiculous to be a lie (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

Cliffg37
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Long Beach, CA
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SO just now I am in the bathroom doing what I have to do, and the phone rings. My wife calls out to me asking if I am available. I call back yes I am. I will come out and get the phone, but my wife sticks it into the bathroom just as I flush.

You can imagine my friend who was told to hang on, and that I would be right with him heard that most common noise. He was too polite to say anything. I was glad.

After I hung up with him my wife and I had a huge laugh over it. That really belongs on a comedy TV show. Any writers out there?
Magic is like Science,
Both are fun if you do it right!
Bob1Dog
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Wife: It's me or this houseful of
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Great post. I've actually phoned folks while on the "throne" and I especially like to phone my lefty friends like some of the folks I encounter in here, whilst taking care of business. It's actually quite fun as I reach for the roll. Smile
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about? Smile

My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums.
mvmagic
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The toilet and phone don't mix very well... Smile

When I was in the military my unit-very small, only 4 guys-was the "trust unit" so to speak. We got a lot of information and tasks and whatnot, stuff they (the brass) didn't trust anyone else with.

Well...I was in the crapper, major number two and I had the cordless phone with me. I was on call and alone so I had to be reachable. Phone rings and the captain asks me to come to his office to act as a witness for an interrogation. I told him I'll be there in 5 minutes...which he didn't like as his office was like a 20-second walk away. He keeps telling me he needs me NOW and I tell him I'll be there ASAP. It went back and forth for so long that I would have been able to finish my business. And the poor man finally asks me "What the **** are you doing that's taking this long?" And I told him honestly. So he said "Squeeze man, and then get here"

I was embarrased...even more so when I went his office when his first words were "Well thank goodness, I thought I have to come over and pull it out!"
Sent from my Typewriter
Michael Baker
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Eternal Order
Near a river in the Midwest
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Quote:
On 2012-12-03 06:28, mvmagic wrote:
The toilet and phone don't mix very well... Smile

When I was in the military my unit-very small, only 4 guys-was the "trust unit" so to speak. We got a lot of information and tasks and whatnot, stuff they (the brass) didn't trust anyone else with.

Well...I was in the crapper, major number two and I had the cordless phone with me. I was on call and alone so I had to be reachable. Phone rings and the captain asks me to come to his office to act as a witness for an interrogation. I told him I'll be there in 5 minutes...which he didn't like as his office was like a 20-second walk away. He keeps telling me he needs me NOW and I tell him I'll be there ASAP. It went back and forth for so long that I would have been able to finish my business. And the poor man finally asks me "What the **** are you doing that's taking this long?" And I told him honestly. So he said "Squeeze man, and then get here"

I was embarrased...even more so when I went his office when his first words were "Well thank goodness, I thought I have to come over and pull it out!"


I guess it makes you wonder about your place in life when someone else is telling you how to take a dump. Smile LOL
~michael baker
The Magic Company
mvmagic
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It does...but as long as its just telling (and not pulling! LOL) its ok. Or was, now I am the master of my own dumps! Smile
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stoneunhinged
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Here's a story:

Last semester we had just finished giving several oral exams--which we record on a digital dictaphone. So I slipped the dictaphone into my back pocket and went to the bathroom. When I entered the bathroom I saw that my hair was untidy--so I reached for my pocket comb and combed my hair. Then I went to the urinal.

Later in the day I was sorting through the recordings, deleting the recordings of the students who had passed and uploading the recordings of the students who had failed to my hard drive.

But the very last recording wasn't of an oral exam. The last recording apparently began when I returned my pocket comb to the same back pocket where I had placed my dictaphone.
R.S.
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CT one day I'll have
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Quote:
On 2012-12-03 08:20, stoneunhinged wrote:
Here's a story:

Last semester we had just finished giving several oral exams--which we record on a digital dictaphone. So I slipped the dictaphone into my back pocket and went to the bathroom. When I entered the bathroom I saw that my hair was untidy--so I reached for my pocket comb and combed my hair. Then I went to the urinal.

Later in the day I was sorting through the recordings, deleting the recordings of the students who had passed and uploading the recordings of the students who had failed to my hard drive.

But the very last recording wasn't of an oral exam. The last recording apparently began when I returned my pocket comb to the same back pocket where I had placed my dictaphone.


And I guess that's why they call it a "dictaphone." Smile

Ron
"It is error only, and not truth, that shrinks from inquiry." Thomas Paine
Michael Baker
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Eternal Order
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Quote:
On 2012-12-03 08:20, stoneunhinged wrote:
Here's a story:

Last semester we had just finished giving several oral exams--which we record on a digital dictaphone. So I slipped the dictaphone into my back pocket and went to the bathroom. When I entered the bathroom I saw that my hair was untidy--so I reached for my pocket comb and combed my hair. Then I went to the urinal.

Later in the day I was sorting through the recordings, deleting the recordings of the students who had passed and uploading the recordings of the students who had failed to my hard drive.

But the very last recording wasn't of an oral exam. The last recording apparently began when I returned my pocket comb to the same back pocket where I had placed my dictaphone.


The definition of a nanosecond: That point in time between realizing what you have accidentally recorded, and realizing that you're the only one who knows.
~michael baker
The Magic Company
MobilityBundle
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I have a bit of a reverse story. About three years ago, I left a busy law firm to work from home in association with a smaller firm. For a while after I left, I was still teaming up with the old firm on a big litigation I was working on. This big litigation was characterized by endless conference calls that were almost never necessary.

Back at the firm, I hated those calls. I would be chained to my desk for hours, listening and rarely saying anything except one or two words. More than once at the firm, I was chained to a call (or multiple calls in a row) without the chance to get up and go to the bathroom.

But when I started working from home, there was no greater feeling of liberation than being stuck on the call, muting my phone, and going to town in the bathroom. Smile
stoneunhinged
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Quote:
On 2012-12-03 08:56, R.S. wrote:
Quote:
On 2012-12-03 08:20, stoneunhinged wrote:
Here's a story:

Last semester we had just finished giving several oral exams--which we record on a digital dictaphone. So I slipped the dictaphone into my back pocket and went to the bathroom. When I entered the bathroom I saw that my hair was untidy--so I reached for my pocket comb and combed my hair. Then I went to the urinal.

Later in the day I was sorting through the recordings, deleting the recordings of the students who had passed and uploading the recordings of the students who had failed to my hard drive.

But the very last recording wasn't of an oral exam. The last recording apparently began when I returned my pocket comb to the same back pocket where I had placed my dictaphone.


And I guess that's why they call it a "dictaphone." Smile

Ron


LOL!
ed rhodes
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There was a convention of "Forever Knight" fans.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103417/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

My wife went and recorded quite a bit of the procedures. One of the people at the convention had hearing problems and as a favor to her, the star of the show Geriant Wyn Davies was fitting out with a special microphone wired to her hearing aid so she could hear what he said.

During one of the sessions, "Ger" had to use the men's room. On the tape, you see people discussing various topics when suddenly the deaf woman starts laughing. Turns out Ger hadn't bothered (or didn't realize he had to) turn off the microphone and she had a "front row" seat for his trip to the men's room!
"There's no time to lose," I heard her say.
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"Dying all the time, lose your dreams and you could lose your mind.
Ain't life unkind?"
Bob1Dog
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Quote:
On 2012-12-04 23:11, ed rhodes wrote:
There was a convention of "Forever Knight" fans.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103417/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

My wife went and recorded quite a bit of the procedures. One of the people at the convention had hearing problems and as a favor to her, the star of the show Geriant Wyn Davies was fitting out with a special microphone wired to her hearing aid so she could hear what he said.

During one of the sessions, "Ger" had to use the men's room. On the tape, you see people discussing various topics when suddenly the deaf woman starts laughing. Turns out Ger hadn't bothered (or didn't realize he had to) turn off the microphone and she had a "front row" seat for his trip to the men's room!

That's a great story.
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about? Smile

My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums.
George Ledo
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Not as funny as some of the above, but back in high school one of the more strait-laced Jesuits was recording a Latin exam on a tape deck. We would all pick random numbers, and then every question would start with "Number such-and-such, what is... " or whatever. So the next day he's telling the class that the power went out during recording and there's a break in the tape. Sure enough, what they heard was "Number such-and-such, please conjugate... oh %&$#."

You could hear the laughter three classrooms away.
That's our departed buddy Burt, aka The Great Burtini, doing his famous Cups and Mice routine
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dave_matkin
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My wife was on the phone with her mum the other week and they have been having a good old chat for about 15 minutes. The my wife says "are you in the bath?" ..... She was.

All this is fine but .......... Beware I know of at least 3 people who have had to claim on insurance for waterlogged iPhone / other mobile.
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