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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Looking out for our own » » Looking for Passion... (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

docdazzal
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San Tan Valley, AZ
334 Posts

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Greetings Compeers...

Some years ago after I got home from work...I grabbed a quick bite for dinner...and ran upsatirs to practice my magic. I was there until bed time...I can remember times on the weekends where I would go to my magic room in the morning...and was so engrossed, my then wife, would come up to let me know it was time for dinner...and not even remember where the time went.

Eventually, I lost my first family because of my love for magic...at least the reason she gave was..."I need someone who loves me..." That was some years back...and ever since then...although my love and interest for magic has never really left...I haven't since then, spent the time nor the effort, to spend the time I used to with magic...and even feel now, like I want to. I let my membership in the IBM and SAM lapse...I stopped going to magic club meetings...and I've slowed way down in booking shows.

I maintain a web site...but do no advertising...in short. I've seemed to have lost my passion. But there is still that magical yearning...that magical pull within me that keeps calling. I want to...but I don't want to lose the new wife (of some years now) or allow magic to consume me as it once did.

I'm spilling my guts here...hoping that some of my compeers here...may be able to give a little advice as to how to "get my groove" back...to find that passion I that I've lost. I know the ultimate responsibility lies within myself...and I need to face myself and pull myself up by my boot straps and shake it off...and move forward. But for some *** reason...that first important step to that end...seems so difficult.


Thank You...Continued Success,
Dr. Dan
Dr. Dan
Dr. Dan
Metaphysician, Readings, & Mentalism
www.drdanandco.com
Rodney Palmer
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Inner circle
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Have you spoken with your new wife and asked her how she feels about your magic passion?

Does or will she support your magic?

Are you employed Full Time and are your taking car of your Family Responsibilities?

Do you go out on Dates with your wife, where it is just the two of you?

Do you keep things around the house done such as Lawn Mowed, Trash, or whatever chores you do?

Do you offer to help your wife Cook Dinner, Do Laundry, Clean House, etc? Just offering makes here feel special.

Take a look at the above and get back with me via PM.

Rodney
"Creating Memories That Last A Lifetime"



In order to keep "MAGIC ALIVE" Please become a Mentor to a Young Person.
Kent Wong
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Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
2458 Posts

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Rodney's questions or bang on! This year, I will have been married for 20 years. My wife and I have two lovely teenage girls. I run an investment company and my own law firm. In addition to this, I perform an average of 180 shows a year. Whenever anyone asks how I can manage the time to do all of this, the first words out of my mouth are always, "I have a very understanding wife". She realizes the passion I have for magic, but that passion always takes a back seat to the love I have for my family - and she knows that too. Happiness just a matter of finding the right balance for all of the things that are important to you.

Kent
"Believing is Seeing"
<BR>______________________
<BR>
<BR>www.kentwongmagic.com
Dennis Michael
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Southern, NJ
6018 Posts

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Been there, done that.

Lost all but my bag of magic.Found a new love and provided, making sure she came first.

Got back into magic big-time and never thought there would be a day my passion for magic waned, then it happened....Health issues took priority.

Couldn't do some shows because of health. (More than a flu). Without good health, all else seems non-existent.

If you have your health, a "very understanding (supportive) wife", and enjoy the laughter of magic, then count your blessings.

One can't forget providing for the family, and retirement too. (Remember John Calvert is still performing lectures at 102 years old)
Dennis Michael
Darkwing
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Nashville Tn
1845 Posts

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Dr. Dan,

First of all let me start by saying I really do understand what you are going through and what I am about to say is not preaching or to admonish you for your passion of magic. I too try to spend as much time as I can on performing magic but everything has to be done in moderation. Otherwise you will burnout. Been there. It is not fun. You also have to be the master of your time.

I have a full time sales job, a disabled wife who needs lots of special care, a very busy teenage daughter; I do all the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, and bills. I run a part time magic business where I do 50 -60 shows a year. I'm active in the local magic club where I help mentor and coach other magicians. Do I do all of the things great?.... no. At the end of my long days I have to be satisfied I have done the best I can. Don't feel sorry for me because I am a very blessed man. I have a wife and family that loves me very much, a great boss, a great job, friends that are as close as brothers to me, I have a passion for performing magic that is my pressure relief valve. Everything I do is a blessing in my life and enhances my life. Balance is the key. Too much of anything is bad and will effect your life negatively. Eat the extra cookie, watch a show with your loved one without any purpose except to spent time with someone you care about, have lunch with a friend, take a nap on a Sunday afternoon, etc.

Remember we all have our crosses to bear.

I hope that helps.
docdazzal
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San Tan Valley, AZ
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Thank You All Very Much...

I see much more clearly...and understand things diferently. Thank you Darkwing, I do appreciate your candor and will follow your example. Rodney...I've sent you a PM and thank you for your help. I'm planning on having a talk with my wife this coming weekend...I know she really doesn't mind my involvement with magic...but I'm not too sure she really understands why I want to be involved with...so that's the direction I'll begin from.


Thank You Guys Very Much,
Dr. Dan
Dr. Dan
Dr. Dan
Metaphysician, Readings, & Mentalism
www.drdanandco.com
Harv
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I'm building a fence with
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Quote:

Eventually, I lost my first family because of my love for magic..."


You're kidding right? Hope you've got your priorities straight. Sorry if this isn't the answer you're looking for, but if you put magic before family you need help.
Dennis Michael
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Southern, NJ
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When one goes into a business, and magic is a business, a supportive wife can make or break that business.

My brother got a divorce, because his wife did not believe the stories of the people he had to arrest. "People are not that way."

Some woman HATE magic and that is a mixture for failure.

If the only means of putting food on the table and paying the bills is through magic, then so be it.
Dennis Michael
docdazzal
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San Tan Valley, AZ
334 Posts

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Thank You Dennis...I thought I was working (being a full time magician) for the benefit of the family. But, she didn't see it that way. In her words..."I want you out of my life..." Since magic isn't a traditional type of j-o-b, I'm thinking she felt I wasn't "working" but just doing magic. I guess she couldn't corelate the job / magic situation.


Thanks Again...Continued Success,
Dan
Dr. Dan
Dr. Dan
Metaphysician, Readings, & Mentalism
www.drdanandco.com
Harv
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I'm building a fence with
1127 Posts

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"Some years ago after I got home from work...I grabbed a quick bite for dinner...and ran upsatirs to practice my magic. I was there until bed time...I can remember times on the weekends where I would go to my magic room in the morning...and was so engrossed, my then wife, would come up to let me know it was time for dinner...and not even remember where the time went."

"Thank You Dennis...I thought I was working (being a full time magician) for the benefit of the family."

Funny doc, you never mentioned that you were a "full time" magician in your first post...Dennis must be psychic. So you came home from work...I guess you were out every day as a full time magician, then came home and practiced magic until bedtime and then on the weekends..assuming you weren`t working as a full time magician you spent the whole day playing with magic. Gee, I wonder why your wife felt unloved and unappreciated.

Dennis, why do you think his wife of the time was unsupportive? It sounds like she was married to someone who was obsessed with magic above everything else.

I've been doing kidshows part time on the weekend since my kids were little (they're adults now) and I never let my practice time or my love for magic interfere with my family life.

It`s a matter of priorities.

Dan I do hope you rekindle the fire....just try to remember that your wife should be the most important part of your life.
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