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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » New to magic? » » Do you tell your wife/partner/spouse? (3 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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fballatore
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Ridgefield, CT USA
13 Posts

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Well, I couldn't find the forum I was looking for, so I put this here...

I'm not a beginner; I've been interested in magic for many years. It's a hobby for me, but from time to time, I'll do a few tricks for family, friends, co-workers, etc. My wife has always been my (not so willing) test audience. The problem is, she always wants to "know how it's done". She knows I'm not supposed to tell her. Then she'll say, "But I'm your assistant." Let's just say that if I don't show her, she becomes a bit "less willing".

Anyway, what do you do? Do you tell?

BTW, of course I never reveal the secrets to anyone else.

Thanks!
Bandaloop
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Dodging attacks for the past
194 Posts

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If you don't want to live on the couch for the rest of your life, then yes. Smile

Seriously, though, I think it's a personal choice. My wife knows bits and pieces but not everything. The downside of her knowing certain things is that when I show her new material I can't use her as a 100% gauge of a layperson because of the bit of stuff she does know. Think of it that way. The more your wife knows, the more she'll start looking at effects like a magician.
Josh the Superfluous
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The man of
1881 Posts

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I don't tell. But sometimes my laundry does.
What do you want in a site? "Honesty, integrity and decency." -Mike Doogan
"I hate it, I hate my ironic lovechild. I didn't even have anything to do with it" Josh #2
Jim Sparx
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Far Out, Texas
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Sleeping on a couch on a three dog cold night ain't much fun. Been there, not much room for the dogs. Women usually know everything already and I've never heard of a successful marriage where the guy has secrets. They have ways of finding out about stuff. In the meantime, your on their list...be forewarned. They have ways of getting back. Like the next time you say, "There's nothing up my sleeve" - she might chime in and say, "And there's nothing in his pants."
Habbrock
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Once I feel I have a new trick down I show my wife. If she doesn't know how I did it I show her then do it again. If she can see how it's done with or without the knowledge then the trick not ready and I won't perform it. She's my biggest fan and the first to call me out if I flash anything I'm not supposed to. I feel it makes me a better performer.
Bill Hegbli
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Eternal Order
Fort Wayne, Indiana
22773 Posts

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Of course you share your secrets with your assistant/wife, you are a team and a team always works together. Tell her you are taking into your confidence and she will work with you for your audiences.

Happy wife, Happy life!
gomerel
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458 Posts

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I tell in general terms and sometimes show.
Bob Sanders
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Grammar Supervisor
Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
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My wife is also a magician with her own shows! What often happens is that she decides on what will take place during the show and then she comes to me to show her options for making it happen. After 13 years as a performer, she is a great resource her self.
Bob Sanders

Magic By Sander / The Amazed Wiz

AmazedWiz@Yahoo.com
lambretta1963
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My other half is pretty good herself. She can make cash & chocolate disappear faster than anyone.
Seriously, I try all my new stuff out on her first. Harsh critic but that's good.
professorwhut
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Posts R US sold me
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My wife does not want to know...does not care...does not want to see any more magic.
After much soul searching about a signature, I decided not to have one.

TG Pop [aka ProfessorWhut]
ralphs007
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1087 Posts

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Hi
I never tell her. I think it would rob her of the mystery.
"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him".
James D. Miles
DWRackley
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Chattanooga, TN
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Several good opinions here, most of which I subscribe to. I'm WILLING to explain to my wife IF she seems interested. One serious problem a married magician has is that the spouse is the FIRST person you test on, and they may get really tired of it. For this reason, I didn’t show my wife anything at all for a very long time.

Nowadays both of my pre-teen sons are interested in magic as well (My 12 year old just performed for the local IBM Ring), and HE has no compunctions against a quick “Hey, Mom! Look at this!”

Of course my wife is a very intelligent woman, and can usually backtrack how it MIGHT have been done (she’s usually correct). Now that both boys are about to become associate members, sometimes we sit down as a family and talk about the principles of magic, and maybe I’ll demonstrate how a particular gimmick might be used.

And occasionally I’ll see my beautiful and creative wife’s inventive mind simply fail to grasp a principle. It’s a lot to think about and, let’s face it, we don’t (generally) think in the same way as other people, whether by training or by mental issues. Smile


Overall, I’d say the safest answer is to “Be gentle”. If she asks, I’d give, at least until she gets bored.
...what if I could read your mind?

Chattanooga's Premier Mentalist

Donatelli and Company at ChattanoogaPerformers.com

also on FaceBook
Siekomagic
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South Africa
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I have always shared little bits and pieces with my other half. Over time she has learned what to look for, which I see as a plus because she can point out little things that I may have missed. She is very supportive of my magic and always willing to watch something new.
bowers
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Oakboro N.C.
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We are a team.
Ihop
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Glen Spey, NY
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Once I feel confident, I show my wife.
She never wants to know how it's done.
She says it takes all the fun out of it.
Ihor
Illusionist
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Earth
121 Posts

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If I show a trick or an illusion to anyone I make sure I'm ready to show it. I take secrets to the grave.
maxnew40
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Yes I share many of the secrets with my wife. She is really interested in the methods used. If she didn't care I woudn't bother but she does care. Keeping any kind of secrets from your wife is usually not a good idea. I have been married for 23 years now and that thinking has worked well for me.

-Max
ralphs007
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Quote:
On 2013-01-25 03:22, Illusionist wrote:
If I show a trick or an illusion to anyone I make sure I'm ready to show it. I take secrets to the grave.

A man after my own heart !
"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him".
James D. Miles
bowers
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Oakboro N.C.
7039 Posts

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Not having any magician friends around it helps
by her knowing how it is done.She can then watch
as I perform a effect and see if I flash while i
perform a effect.
Todd
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17198 Posts

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I don't know that I tell her, but she sees it so much and so often that sooner or later she figures it out.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
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