Hi Folks,

A quick look at magic from the point of view of the beginner (my experience may be different to yours, of course).

I'm keen; I'm enthusiastic; I want to share my new knowledge. But I lack the skills and confidence to perform for strangers. So I try family and friends.

In my humble experience, this normally ends badly!

Firstly, they aren't as interested in magic as me. So when I ask them, "You wanna see a new trick?" I'm likely to get rejection. Even if, because they love me, they say yes, the whole thing isn't going to have that 'buzz' or energised feel - I'll sense that they don't really want to be there and that they're just humouring me, and it will make me feel bad. No one likes a hobby they love to be treated with disdain. And because even my best effects and best performance are met with little more than a polite smile, I'll feel discouraged and demotivated.

Secondly, they know me too well. They can tell when I'm lying a million times more easily than can a stranger; they know when I'm nervous and when I'm hiding something. And as a beginner, this really doesn't help!

Thirdly, familiarity breeds contempt. When doing something for a stranger I've never (or hardly ever) had any trouble. But with family and close friends, boy! Often they deliberately try to mess you up or catch you out. Sometimes they want you to fail. I ask them to cut the deck - they shuffle it. I ask them to pick a card - they pick two. I use a prop - they want to examine every inch of it for two minutes. They burn my hands, they go round my back, they look in my stuff, they go way beyond what normal spectators would do - because they know that the boundaries are different for family. A prophet has no honour in their own house - don't you know it!

Lastly, even if, after all the above, I still manage to do something that they find entertaining and baffling, they'll immeadiately want to know "How is it done?" And they won't take no for an answer, and they will keep pestering you, and you can't get away. It is tiring and annoying, and can often lead to arguments.

So, the upshot? I'm not convinced that beginners should perform for family or close friends - it is too easy to have your confidence knocked and your love of magic sullied. Us beginners inflict ourselves on family because we lack confidence, but I think that for many new magi we'd be better off just performing for strangers, work colleagues, school aquiantances and people a bit more distant.

Thoughts?

I have no problems performing for family and friends. I know they are better at catching me lying, so I polish the lies until I believe them and avoid being caught. They love trying to trip me up, so I prepare for it and suddenly the worst hecklers are more manageable. I keep my tricks entertaining and don’t perform them more than once so they are always interested in seeing what I have coming up next. I think it comes down to perspective. I let them help me sharpen up my performance.
-Jason Porter

I have a very similar experience as The Amazing Pog, although I can barely even classify myself as a beginner. I think the online gaming term "noob" totally applies to me.

That said, when I started doing small tricks for my family in the middle of last year, following the Nick Einhorn book along, I entertained my kids (my wife couldn't really care any less), but it quickly lost their interest. My older daughter has even been able to figure out how some of them were done despite not knowing about stacked decks (she was really quick at noticing the repetition in Si Stebbins).

I've since picked up a few other books and watched a lot of videos on YouTube. This morning I did Harry Lorayne's linking card (I don't know its history, but I took the routine from his YouTube video) and an overhand shuffle control, running seven cards (so that her selected was 8 - her age) and was able to not only elicit a smile, but an indignant "How did you do that?" which will probably go on to be the highlight of the day (maybe even the week!).

So, part of it in my experience is getting better at techniques and patter (Lorayne's quick-speaking, "Examine this. Now examine this. Oh, now look at this again," was really effective.), and the other part was personalizing the magic.

To be honest I find that a mirror or video recorder works just fine for practicing moves and sleights. They can tell me a lot more than what a family member can (unless they happen to be into magic as well).

One suggestion-If you're a bit nervous about performing for a group of people, why not just one at a time. I've had fun trying out tricks on waitresses (okay, they have to be a captive audience) but I remember getting a swizzle stick at a restaurant and playing with a paddle move for the waitress. I think I presented it as the fact that on someone else's stick, they got designs on both sides but I didn't get one on either. When she brought me some more, I not only had a new 'collection' but I got to practice with a real person.

Just my 2 cents

Doing tricks for family and friends is tough because they know you and feel comfortable doing things strangers probably wouldn't. However, they can be managed like any other audience. It just takes time, practice, and experience. I have no problem doing tricks for family but I get very nervous doing tricks for my wife because she is good at spotting suspicious or angle sensitive issues. If she is amazed and doesn't catch anything I know I'm ready to perform it for others. Keep in mind that practicing in front of a mirror many times doesn't expose angle issues. People sitting on a floor, off at angles, etc. can give you problems that you wouldn't notice in front of a mirror. Strangers may be too polite to point out you screwed up a trick but family usually doesn't have this problem which is a good thing. Better to screw up in front of your wife who loves you (you hope) and wants to help you do better than a bunch of strangers who politely clap and behind your back say you are a lousy magician.

Yes, absolutely!

Much of magic has to do with image and attitude. With strangers, honestly, you can often get by with pretty lousy skills if you have the stage presence.
You are establishing a relationship with the audience as "The Magician". We often refer to "spectator management" as a primary magic skill and this requires taking charge of the situation.

Family and friends aren't ********ted or directed so easily, they know you too well and can't make that leap to your "magic persona". They already have a relationship with you that takes precedence.

Although they may be appreciative of your skill or the cleverness of an illusion (I often share things I've discovered with my older brother)
they will always be watching technique.

So, paradoxically, although strangers seem scarier, they are actually a much safer audiance.

So true, cyberqat!

Couple of thoughts:

First, I totally agree with what everyone's saying about family members being harder to perform magic on, because they know you already etc. etc.. But I also know, based on experience, that it's as much the beginner's fault as it is the spectators. When I was first learning magic, I would barely learn how to do an effect, then rush off to "try" it on someone. How can they be blamed for seeing through it or simply not being entertained by it when I execute it poorly, or flash something because I haven't mastered the effect the way I should have? Then after you've blown it once or twice they're just not interested in wasting their time watching you, even if you've got the best ACR ever.

Then again . . . I think it's helped me tremendously to practice on a super-critical audience first. It's sorta like magician's boot-camp. Then when you go to perform for strangers, you will be better than you need to be to convince them. (Don't get me wrong; by "better than you need to be", I'm not advocating shoddy showmanship.)

Finally, if you're having confidence issues, practice on the youngest kid you can find. A four- or five-year-old brother, daughter, cousin, niece or grandkid is great. You can't do involved mentalism tricks with them, but they'll love your visual stuff and you can perfect your sleights with coins, balls, sponges, crayons, etc. Kids love repetition, so you can do the same coin vanish over and over and over again, and while they're having a blast, you are perfecting your angles, misdirection, etc.

Agreed David,

The best thing that ever happened to me for magic, or the rest of life, was that when I was about 16 my father *made* me go out on the street and try to perform.

And I was *awful*. Its not that my skills were terrible, I had been practicing mostly alone in my room on and off for 8 or so years. But my audience management skills were non-existant. I had no "street presence". I stunk.

BUT he made me keep at it, and I got better! He gave me some suggestions on how to present as a magician, such as a tux t-shirt and a crepe top hat. And I learned from experience how to get the audience to come to me rather then trying to chase them.

Those skills and the confidence that came with them has helped me in all of life. Be it lecturing to a college class or industry group, demonstrating product on a show floor, or just networking and meeting people. That summer on the street was probably the most valuable lesson in my life.

You may want to consider explicitly changing the role that your family member takes when you perform for them. Instead of asking, "Do you want to see a trick?". Ask them to help you improve your performance by giving you a critique. This changes their role from "forced audience member" (which sets up a struggle for control over the situation) to a partnership. You pass the control to them. As critic they already have power over the setting and should be less inclined to derail the process.

You should also be prepared for some honest feedback- feedback that may be hard to hear sometimes. But I'm guessing at this stage that is what you really want anyway.

I do magic for my family and it works out well for me.