The Magic Café
Username:
Password:
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » The side walk shuffle » » How to Lose an Audience. (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

gallagher
View Profile
Inner circle
1075 Posts

Profile of gallagher
God, it´s coooold outside. And drizzling. Willkommen in Deutschland. ouuh, after hiding out in southern France most of the winter, it´s an eye-opener,... at the same time, nose-closer.
Still, we´ve scrambled in a few Shows this past week,.. and well, the year is young.

Rain and cold, and a small towns; directs one towards the net. What better place to be caught, then `the Café´.
One new Topic tickled a chuckle., "How to Get an Audience."
cmm, yesterday, I blew one(!). Then sat up with my lady, talking about some of our "Greatest Misses".

First, yesterday´s. We´re playing Offenburg. A smallish town on the south west border.,.. I can openly disclose this, because,... well,.. the town is simply fantastic!
In the second Show; after beating, threatening,... I might even HAVE bribed half of `em; our audience was there.,.. at least in body.
One song. First effect.,.... mumbled applause. Ok.,.. one guy burped.
Second song. Second effect.,.. blew `em away with that one!, I guess. I mean,.. there was stunned silence.
Third song,...
.... I´ve been eating Curry Wursts, the past week, since returning. Right before this Show, I struggled with two. You have to understand, Curry Wurst reacts `differently´, in ones stomach; after three months of croisants, cheese,....wine..
This time I,.. I burbed. In the middle of the Third Song,... confused audience at my feet,... they still thought a free beer was in the deal somewhere...
Red faced, with a mouthfull of Curry,.. or was it one of the dounuts?,... my face hurridly went from red to blue,.. to green. Turquoise?,.. shades of yellow.
Picasso would have openned an eye, at some of these colours.
Mothers grabbed children. Children grabbed pets. Even the two drunks grabbed their brown bags(!),.... and packed.

How to Lose an Audience.
It wasn´t Swiss timed,... but hey folks, 8.643 seconds.

So, Time and Space to brag. The floors open,... just watch out for that yellow pile over there.
Anybody else ever `manage´ to blow one?

Spreading the wurst,... word,
gallagher.
Devious
View Profile
Inner circle
2120 Posts

Profile of Devious
Great to hear from ya Brother! I've missed ya!
Give it easy and keep it fresh!
Image
Devious Deceptions
"Gadol Elohai!"
L'Chaim!
Pizpor
View Profile
Elite user
474 Posts

Profile of Pizpor
LOL!

You should a prize or something for that one, Gallager.
Nick W
View Profile
Special user
515 Posts

Profile of Nick W
This would have been the single most best street moment ever. I used to have ideas on what I would do if I blew chunks in the middle of a show...my only solution would be to make it part of the show...ta-daaaa!
Pizpor
View Profile
Elite user
474 Posts

Profile of Pizpor
Think of the possibilities!

"Is that your card?"
gallagher
View Profile
Inner circle
1075 Posts

Profile of gallagher
A gentleman, Jeramiah Costello, has, probably, the best, "blew an audience" story.
He is an American, from the upper New York state region.
His Show consists of an `Elvis´ Statue.
When someone drops, he goes into a rendition of "Ain´t Nothing but a Hound Dog".
Likable,... funny, humble spirited man.

After licking blood, with the Act, in Dublin. He took friends´advise, headed to Germany,
"for the `big´money. (..that´s what friends are for...)
Not knowing a word of Germany, other than, "Ich liebe dich." and "Ein beer, bitte".,
his friend helped him out.
The "one" phrase, that would open the hearts,
and pockets of all Germans.

Costume in hand,
phrase in mouth,
he head south, to the gold mine,... Köln.
(..ha,.. that´s what friends are for...)
One Sunday morning he opened,
in front of the Kölner Dom.
Hoping to attract and seduce Church goers,
families,... after the services.

It worked!
He had great success. And after an hour decided to end his Show
and release the audience,
....with his magic phrase.

"Danke! Danke!! Ich bin ein Brustwarze!"

Heads slowly turned.
A silent mumble took hold.
Forced smiles grabbed hands as the crowd crumbled.
Like a cracker being squeezed.

(,..that´s what friends are for,...)

"Thank you! Thank you!! I am a Breast Nipple!!"

gallagher.
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » The side walk shuffle » » How to Lose an Audience. (0 Likes)
[ Top of Page ]
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2020 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved.
This page was created in 0.22 seconds requiring 5 database queries.
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café
are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic.
> Privacy Statement <

ROTFL Billions and billions served! ROTFL