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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Penny for your thoughts » » Suffering fools gladly? (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Waters
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Is it just me or does it seem people are getting more demanding and absolutely rude about it? I had a PM sent asking for secret information. When I responded without the answer, I was chided for my "pleasantries" and was told I was told that my response was the least helpful ever. Although I have a reasonably thick skin, I have to admit that this indignant response surprise me a bit. I guess I am getting too old.

My uncle once encouraged me to suffer fools gladly but it is getting harder to do so. Is it just me?
sean_mh
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It's not that you are getting older.

The fools are just getting more foolish!

Sean
Waters
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Haha! Thanks Sean

I should have mentioned that this product in question was not my materials, but someone else's released product. I guess the fact that I was basically mocked for responding nicely, but offering no information, shocked me.
IAIN
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There is a general sense of entitlement, the "gimme the link", and spoon-feeding from certain types of people - which has always been around, but is far more noticeable these days...i think its cos people don't have to do as much "stuff" for themselves, no thinking or researching the hard way - just google it and accept someone else's view all too easily... I have had a few pm's too recently sean, I just ignore them...don't even respond...

live with your parents longer, get everything online, lack of self-education (like learning how to use google and other search engines properly to look up and then double, triple-check the information)...
I've asked to be banned
Mindpro
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I'm seeing it with ports around here as well. It's a shame when longtime experienced professionals take the time to offer insight, experience and opinion only to get this type of response and terrible lack of respect.
brehaut
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Sean,

I have noticed the overall tone on the Café seems to have become more rude. One theory is that the mentalists who perform, create and have a passion for the art get fed up by the type of incidents you have noted and stop posting, commenting, etc. Then the more rude, "gimme" types make up a greater overall percentage of the Café.
mastermindreader
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Sean-

That's one of the reasons I've disabled PMs and only exchange them will people I know and/or trust. I know for a fact that a lot of unethical "trading" takes place via PMs.

And, as I've stated many times, I have little patience for anonymous newcomers who provide little to no information about themselves and yet feel that they are entitled to have anything for the asking.

It gets depressing. I've been asked by many fellow professionals why I continue to participate here. It's because I love the art and have made many good friends on the Café over the years. Besides, I tell them, someone has to at least TRY to fight the trivialization that is rapidly happening to our art.
Cervier
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I know it's not easy, but just don't pay attention. The fact someone demands explanations shopws he's got a lot to learn.
It's not even about the secret, it's about demanding help as it's something you owe them. Treat them like kids, that's what they are --whatever their age.
You did the right thing, you have our support and understanding --put your smile back on and relax Smile)
"A friend is someone who know you well but loves you anyway" H. Lauwick
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Mindpro
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Truth, justice and the Bob Cassidy way. I support the fight!
eSamuels
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Sean, your feelings are 100% justified.
In fact, I would take this one step further back.

I have always been willing to help others out, as I received help, early in my own development.
However, the rise in what can only be described as 'curt' PMs and emails is staggering!

Now I'm not asking for banal pleasantries or brown-nosing, but a little politeness and appreciation goes a long way.

And here's one of the first lessons I learned, way back when I was entering the radio broadcasting field in college.
Our instructor told us that "Now that you are 'in the business,' each and every contact you make with someone else in radio, is a reflection of your brand and if it's a poor first impression, it will stick with you for a very long time." I saw people who didn't heed the advice and severely handicapped their careers, before they even got started.

Like the radio business, ours is a small community, where respect, integrity and a little consideration (never mind kindness) goes a long way.
Conversely, I have a pretty good memory for those on the 'other side of the coin.'

e
eSamuels
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Oh, and Bob, thank you!

e
Joshua Quinn
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It's not that the fools are becoming more foolish. It's that as you continue to learn and grow, you become ever increasingly less foolish, so the fools only seem more foolish by comparison.
Every problem contains the seeds of its own solution. Unfortunately every problem also contains the seeds of an infinite number of non-solutions, so that first part really isn't super helpful.
Mindpro
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I don't know, there are plenty that haven't even yet had a chance to grow and still show ba**s of steel. I also don't accept newbie status as acceptance of ignorance. Why people come on here they are coming in to an established community where they either seek to fit in and be accepted or are seeking something specific. Either way, there is a right way to go about such things and many wrong ways.

What kills me is if they can't understand this, how would they ever expect to be a performer?

Most newbie as Bob mentioned don't even take the time to introduce themselves and "try" to fit in. And while I agree with Eric, many don't seem to care at all about a first impression or what others think of them. I used to think it was just unjustified confidence and ego, but I don't even believe that anymore.
Stephen Young
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As pointed out in the opening post. It's not just the lack of manners. No please, thank you, kiss my a**, nothing.
It's the sheer "!@#$ you then" attitude if you don't give out what is being demanded.
And that's what it is a lot of the time. Not asking for, but expecting to be handed whatever they want.

Manners are unfortunately on the decline in a lot of areas of society.


Steve
Stephen Young
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And sadly it's not just young newbie internet generation kids that behave in this way.

Steve
john wills
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I agree with all of you.
Today it becomes more and more difficult to guide people in the right direction.
They have found this Café and expect to find here all the clear answers immediately in a few seconds, like a hit google. They even think that all the answers found on google are right and definite.
For us, insiders, this works discouraging all to often; even sometimes off-putting. This, because we have often walked the long (royal) way of asking, searching, trying and again, READING, waiting and even dreaming a long time.
Today many wannabes are often very demanding, even claiming. They eagerly want to go right to the quintessence within a few minutes, because they're often spoiled and even think that they're entitled(!) to know and WANT explanation.
They forget that reading, researching, LISTENING, absorbing culture, rehearsing, trying and failing, choosing and being patience can give the broad INSIGHT, that's needed profoundly in our art.
Everybody has to grow steadily in any form of art.
But don't let a few suckers/ fools discourage us in the love for our profession.
John
Mike Ince
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Sean, if you had just given me the information I wouldn't have chided you. And now you've created this, the worst thread EVER. Thanks a lot. If you thought I'd send you a free copy of my ebook, "The Trick That Cannot Be Enjoyed," well you can forget it, buster.

Mike

P.S. - I'm just kidding. I'll still send you the ebook.
The secret of deception is in making the truth seem ridiculous.
Mike Ince
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And now I'll add a serious answer: what we obtain too cheaply, we esteem too lightly. Guys who get all their stuff for free don't put any value on the things we buy or sell. They don't understand why you don't treat the material as throwaway information like they do.
The secret of deception is in making the truth seem ridiculous.
john wills
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Mike,
AMEN to your last post!
Mark_Chandaue
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Alas it's not just the Café it is modern society as a whole. Manners are rapidly becoming an outdated concept thanks to the instant download, instant communication, I want it now attitude and the anonymity offered by the Internet.

I miss the old days when communication was face to face or over the telephone and so manners were essential if you wanted the conversation to continue without a right handed conversation stopper. If you wanted to communicate by text you had to pick up a pen and write a letter, go out and buy a stamp and put it in the mail box so you tended to consider your words enough to make the trip worthwhile.

Mark
Mark Chandaue A.I.M.C.
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