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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
Recently someone nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading security, getting out, and escaping with the goods, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such a foolish error, he replied, "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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arthur stead Inner circle When I played soccer, I hit 1773 Posts |
Bob1Dog, where do you GET these???!!!
Announcement heard over the intercom at an airport: "Paging Miss Lingus. Miss Connie Lingus." |
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
your question
:lol: your joke!
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
'ell if I know. Did you hear about the human cannonball? First day on the job, he was fired. An infant rabbit was orphaned. Fortunately though, a family of squirrels took it in and raised it as one of their own. This adoption led to some peculiar behaviors on the part of the rabbit. It had a tendency to scurry up trees like its step-siblings instead of hopping along the ground. And it ate acorns and nuts instead of carrots. By the time it was half grown, the rabbit realized that it was different, so it went to its step-parents to discuss the problem. He said he was unsure of his place in the universe and was generally forlorn. His step-parents advised, "Don't scurry. Be hoppy."
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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arthur stead Inner circle When I played soccer, I hit 1773 Posts |
Quote:
On 2013-10-26 17:27, Bob1Dog wrote: Thanks, Bob. Those are actual announcements which I instigated at various airports around the country during my touring days. "Paging Mr. Yorway and Mr. Gomine ... Mr. Hugo Yorway and Al Gomine." |
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
Arthur, I wish I could remember some of them. I remember when I was in corporate in our HQ in New Jersey, every now and again, someone would pull one of those over the paging system in our seven building campus. The operators had no clue. I used to know several myself, and they are quite funny. Keep 'em coming.
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
Here's one I just thought of or maybe it popped out of my memory.
Ivan Yachinoff, you have a phone call at extension 4870; please dial operator.
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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arthur stead Inner circle When I played soccer, I hit 1773 Posts |
"Paging Mr. Hertz ... Mr. Dick Hertz."
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
I love it!
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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frankvomit Elite user 485 Posts |
"phone call for Amanda Hugginkiss. I'm looking for Amanda Huginkiss!"
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
Frank, that was good. It took me a few passes to catch it.
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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arthur stead Inner circle When I played soccer, I hit 1773 Posts |
A few years ago some famous friends of mine visited the Gibson guitar factory. The tech chaperone introduced himself as Richard Head. It was all my friends could do not to start cracking up ... because everybody knows the name Richard often becomes Dick.
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Ekuth Inner circle Floating above my 1538 Posts |
I've got some beauts, but I'm not sure juuuuuust how far we can go here... so I'll modify this a bit from the original:
A man and his wife are walking down an alley and notice a dog licking himself on a porch step. Disgruntled from the lack of sex, the man turns to his wife and says: "I sure wish *I* could do that..." Without missing a beat, his wife shoots back: . . . . . . . . . "Well, maybe if you can if you pet him first." Alright, one more: Two termites walk into a bar. One says: "Hey! Where's the bar tender?"
"All you need is in Fitzkee."
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Michael Baker Eternal Order Near a river in the Midwest 11172 Posts |
A dude hears the doorbell ring and when he gets there it's a pizza delivery guy. Dude says, "I didn't order a pizza." Pizza guy says, "I know. Your neighbor's Facebook account is down, and he wanted you to see what he was eating."
~michael baker
The Magic Company |
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daffydoug Eternal Order Look mom! I've got 14077 Posts |
Should I tell you the joke about the pencil that broke it's lead? Nevermind. It's pointless.
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
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frankvomit Elite user 485 Posts |
Quote:
On 2013-10-27 00:16, frankvomit wrote: funny you should mention that Arthur, be live it or not but I actually knew a guy named Micheal Hunt and he had a brother named Richard and we all grew up right around the time when the first porky's movie came out, so you could imagine how much that kid got ripped on! |
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Michael Baker Eternal Order Near a river in the Midwest 11172 Posts |
Quote:
On 2013-10-27 09:43, frankvomit wrote: I also knew a guy named Mike Hunt. Sadly, he killed himself a few years ago.
~michael baker
The Magic Company |
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George Ledo Magic Café Columnist SF Bay Area 3042 Posts |
You want bad. Okay, here goes.
I just read a real tear-jerker story. It broke my heart. It was about two little inkdots. Their mother was in the pen. And they didn't know how long the sentence was going to be.
That's our departed buddy Burt, aka The Great Burtini, doing his famous Cups and Mice routine
www.georgefledo.net Latest column: "Sorry about the photos in my posts here" |
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
What is Irish and stays on your patio, even when it rains?
Patty O'Furniture.
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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arthur stead Inner circle When I played soccer, I hit 1773 Posts |
Old musician joke:
A pop singer, a rock guitarist and a drummer all end up at the Gates of Heaven. Before they can enter, St. Peter poses a few questions. First, he asks the pop singer: "What was your annual income?" "Well," comes the reply, "I sold quite a few albums, so I would estimate about a million dollars per year." St. Peter says, "You must have been quite popular! Come on in," and he waves him though the Gates. Next, St, Peter asks the guitarist: "How much money did you make last year?" The guitarists replies, "About a hundred thousand." "Not bad," says St. Peter, and lets him in, too. Then St. Peter asks the third applicant, "What was your annual income?" "Oh, about ten thousand." Whereupon St. Peter asks: "What kinds of sticks did you use?" |
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