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TomKMagic Special user I tripped over 620 Posts |
Quote:
On 2014-01-04 13:54, Bob1Dog wrote: Nice... I've not seen that episode. I just came up with that joke the other day. Of course, the obviousness of it leads to prior existence or reference. Thanks for the clip. Abbott and Costello are very funny. |
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TheRaven Special user 597 Posts |
Lawyers from Fruit of the Loom and Jockey met last week and exchange briefs.
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
Why did Bobby Fischer marry a woman from Prague?
He was looking for a Czech mate.
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
I can't let this go. My wife and I are watching the premier of this season's Downton Abbey and I just thought of this.....
What did they call Mr. Bates when he was a young boy? Master Bates.
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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TomKMagic Special user I tripped over 620 Posts |
I saw an advertisement for pants: 50% off
Isn't that just shorts? |
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head!
But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso popped out! The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms popped out! The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair. By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs popped out. The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over. The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said, "He should have quit while he was a head."
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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TomKMagic Special user I tripped over 620 Posts |
Q: What did one earthquake say to the other?
A: I don't know what your blaming me for, it's your fault! |
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critter Inner circle Spokane, WA 2653 Posts |
I was going to ask my zombie friend what his problem is but I was afraid of getting my butt chewed.
"The fool is one who doesn't know what you have just found out."
~Will Rogers |
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
What do you call it when a book spies on people?
A peeping tome.
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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critter Inner circle Spokane, WA 2653 Posts |
What's kept in a man's pants and gets shoved into the same hole it's been shoved in before?
A key.
"The fool is one who doesn't know what you have just found out."
~Will Rogers |
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
Confucious say man who lose key get no noo key
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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TomKMagic Special user I tripped over 620 Posts |
Q: How does Heinrich Hertz greet someone?
A: He waves |
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
What did the fisherman say to the card magician?
Pick a cod, any cod!
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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TheRaven Special user 597 Posts |
Quote:
On 2014-01-21 02:02, Bob1Dog wrote: Make that a Boston fisherman... |
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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Circusman Special user Kent, England. 555 Posts |
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.' So he tied her up and went golfing.
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ed rhodes Inner circle Rhode Island 2889 Posts |
Quote:
On 2014-01-03 21:39, TomKMagic wrote: Actually, I had a great job once at a watch factory. I just sat around all day making faces!
"...and if you're too afraid of goin' astray, you won't go anywhere." - Granny Weatherwax
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mastermindreader 1949 - 2017 Seattle, WA 12586 Posts |
Quote:
On 2014-01-23 12:21, Circusman wrote: Reminds me of the one where the girl says, "Give me fifty bucks and I'll do whatever you want." They guy gives her a fifty and says, "Okay, paint my house." |
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
Reminds me of a blonde joke
A blonde canvassed a wealthy neighborhood looking for odd jobs. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had anything for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her the paint was in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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Bobby Forbes Inner circle virginia beach, VA. 1569 Posts |
Quote:
On 2013-09-26 00:17, MobilityBundle wrote: What a sick F###. You should be thrown in a jail cell with bubba for that. Very tasteless. |
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