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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Penny for your thoughts » » Reveal a friends name (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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TonyB2009
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Quote:
On 2013-11-16 09:22, Mindpro wrote:
Two hugely different posts here. You will find members here are much more willing to help once they know a bit about who they are helping.

Very true. And I have no issue with people ignoring a request for help, if they feel it is not a genuine interest. I don't give away secrets at the drop of a hat. There is a judgement call to be made. My issue is that we do not ignore these posts. Instead we adopt a sneering tone and make the OP feel unwelcome - as he clearly did.

We view these posts as a chance to show off our cleverness and make our friends laugh, and to hell with the feelings of the original poster. Excluding someone from a group and isolating them is a classic way of bullying. Though many do not acknowledge it, Penny is rife with bullying. Some of it is subtle, so we can pretend to ourselves that it is not happening. But it is, constantly.

In a Toastmasters Public Speaking Club one member is nominated at each meeting to make newcomers and guests feel welcome. That person's sole function that evening is to make strangers feel at home. Some remain and become members. Others leave, but with a good impression of Toastmasters. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all take it upon ourselves to occasionally act as the guest greeter and make someone welcome?

In two pages only Bob has bothered to welcome the new member. If we reread his post, Bob did not answer his question, did not reveal anything, and told him why. But he did it in a friendly way. It is an approach it would be nice to see more of.

As for the original poster's comments on elitism, he is spot on from what I have seen over the years. There is a large element of that here too. I have less of an issue with it, because I have no respect for overblown egos, but it is here. The posters with a little bit more humility are the ones I tend to listen to.
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