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Pakar Ilusi Inner circle 5777 Posts |
Quote:
On 2014-01-08 16:00, arthur stead wrote: You don't see THAT on TV.
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
Fun story Pakar!
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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Pakar Ilusi Inner circle 5777 Posts |
Quote:
On 2014-01-09 01:14, Bob1Dog wrote: Thanks Bob!
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
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oscarf Regular user 159 Posts |
What a great thread! I had no idea it existed.
I posted a little story in The Workers in a thread on "the best OOTW effect" that was meant to try to illustrate something about the polarity that comes up in all such threads between "there is no 'best' - it's all you" at one end of the spectrum, and "there's a holy grail version of this thing" at the other. It's a very brief story, but it was one of those moments I will never forget - a life lesson had been delivered to me. and I somehow managed to take it in for once. So here it is: ----------------------------------- SMITHEREENS (a day my world was rearranged) I remember playing a gig with my local band one day decades ago, and Chris Smither came into the bar. Bonnie Raitt was playing around the corner the next night, so he was in town to play with her. He wanted to sit in with us, so I lent him my old Martin 0-18 guitar which was beat to hell and had an action so high that I found it almost unplayable, but it was all we had. I apologized to him for it. He got up there and made that thing sing as sweet as any acoustic guitar I have ever heard. Tasteful notes, gorgeous vibrato, coherent musical ideas. I realized that the guitar was not the problem for me - he hadn't even noticed its deficiencies - which were real, but didn't matter to him. I'll never forget what I learned in that moment about playing the music and not the notes. I say this by way of agreeing with the above posts regarding "the best." I'm sure we could each name several of our favorite performers who could absolutely KILL with ANY version of OOTW. Since I am no Chris Smither, and I am no David Williamson, I can get much better music out of my shopped Martin D-28 than out of my beat up old 0-18, AND I am killing with Cosmos Duo these days. As I tell my daughter about going to college, "the dumber you are, the better a school you should probably go to." That's my 2 cents anyway. |
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slowkneenuh Regular user After 5,278+ posts, only credited with 133 Posts |
I'm catching up on stories.
Interesting story Arthur. I really enjoy those backroom secrets or how things really happen. Pakar, another amusing story. I hope to hear more from you. Welcome oscarf. I'm glad you found the thread! Thanks for your enjoyable story. You really have to admire those folks that can make the best out of any situation.
John
"A poor workman always blames his tools" |
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LobowolfXXX Inner circle La Famiglia 1196 Posts |
Two classics involving one of my longtime friends, whom I'll call Jason (since that's his name). Jason may have smoked more pot than any other two people in the world this side of Cheech and Chong. When I was in my late teens and he was in his early 20s, we roomed together and used to stay up all night regularly, playing speed chess and eating junk food (if a third friend was over, we'd play tournament while the odd man out for a few minutes watched Sho Kosugi or Charles Bronson movies). These were games where each player would usually have either 1 or 2 minutes for the whole game, so we'd play dozens a night...sometimes hundreds. A 1-minute game can't take more than 2 minutes total, and we'd pretty much have marathons where one game started as soon as the last one stopped...except Jason would also take the occasional pot break.
We'd make a run to Albertsons at the beginning of the night to load up on junk food, and we'd just spend 40 or 50 bucks on total crap. Chips, cookies, a case of RC cola, pizza rolls, etc. Jason had a really good job (more on this later), so he always had a bunch of cash on hand, and he bought the snacks. Well, one night turned into morning, and we'd been playing for about 12 hours straight, and at 10:00 a.m. or so, the doorbell rang. Jason, who'd just smoked a bowl, answered the door, and from the kitchen table, I heard a heard a little girl's voice, and the following conversation ensued: Luckiest Girl Scout Ever: Hello, would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies? Stoned Jason with munchies: YEAH! LGSE: What kind do you want? SJWM: Do you have those kind with the chocolate, and they taste like peppermint... LGSE: Thin mints? SJWM: YEAH! LGSE: How many boxes do you want? STWM: Oh, a hundred. LGSE: ok. Jason came back to the room to continue the session, but before we could finish our next game, the doorbell rang again, and Jason answered it again: Woman's voice: DID YOU TELL MY DAUGHTER TOU WANTED A HUNDRED BOXES OF COOKIES? Jason took a minute or so to mostly convince the woman that yes, he did want a hundred boxes of cookies, and became what I believe to be the first person (in Hacienda Heights, at least) required to post a $100 cash deposit for Girl Scout cookies. A couple of weeks later, the girl's dad came by in a pickup truck, and we literally had cartons of thin mints in stacks to the ceiling. Jason, part 2: Jason bought a Honda Civic from Diamond Bar Honda at one point, but after making a couple of payments, he lost his job and quit making payments. He didn't live with me at this time, btw. But he'd park a half mile from home so they couldn't easily repo it, walking the rest of the way, then he decided to move to Florida - he had a job lead. So he drove his Civic to Tampa and lived there for two years. Then he drove to New York, and lived there for a year. Eventually, he came back to So.Cal. and got a good job, and one day, he called Diamond Bar Honda up: Jason: Hi, my name's Jason (omitted), and my account number is (omitted), and I want to take care of my account. Diamond Bar Honda Guy, after a pause: We're prepared to offer you a 70% settlement. Jason: What's that? DBHG: You give us 70% of what you owe us, and we'll give you clear title to the car. Jason (puzzled): What about the other 30% and all the back interest? DBHG: We're prepared to write that off. Jason: Great! I'll take a 70% settlement! DBHG: ok, that comes to (whatever), so if you get that to us by Friday, we'll do the paperwork and we're done. Jason: Well, I don't have that, but I can get it to you in, say, a month. DBHG (realizing Jason is excited about the 70% settlement!, but not knowing him all that well, and mistakenly slipping into sales mode): Well, if we're going to offer you this deal, we really need to see that money by the end of the week. Jason: Well, how about if I give you a thousand as a show of good faith, and get you the rest in a month? DBHG: no, we need the balance in full by Friday. Jason: Well, I can't give you what I don't have, so why don't you give me a month, and we'll be done with it? DBHG: I can't do that. This is a limited offer, expiring Friday. Jason: Wait, I have a great idea. DBHG (unsuspecting): What's that? Jason: Do you have my account history there in front of you? DBHG: Yes, I do. Jason: Why don't you go #%*£ yourself and look for me for three more years? DBHG: Can I put you on hold, sir? Jason: Sure. (Brief pause while DBHG consults with someone above his pay grade) DBHG: If you could get us that balance within 30 days, that would be great.
"Torture doesn't work" lol
Guess they forgot to tell Bill Buckley. "...as we reason and love, we are able to hope. And hope enables us to resist those things that would enslave us." |
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arthur stead Inner circle When I played soccer, I hit 1773 Posts |
Fabulous stories, LobowolfXXX. Thanks for sharing. LOVE Jason's response to the Honda guy!
You too, Oscarf ... great story! Thanks for posting it here. |
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slowkneenuh Regular user After 5,278+ posts, only credited with 133 Posts |
Amusing stories LobowolfXXX! I bet the Girl Scout has told this same story about the sale many times herself. When she got older she probably figured out why she was so lucky. I wish I was as quick-witted as Jason as in the Honda story.
John
"A poor workman always blames his tools" |
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Daryl -the other brother Special user Chicago 594 Posts |
Love all the stories! This has become my "go to" thread". It's like a box of Cracker Jack, you never know what your going to get when you open it.
Part 1 - The Contest Back in the late 70's, I a had job working the day shift at a self service gas station, the noon rush was over and I hadn't seen a customer for at least 20 min. so I was just kicking back and listening to the radio. The Chicago station was running a contest. Sometime during the day they were going to take calls, and the 15th caller would win 2 tickets to see Van Halen (the original w/David Lee Roth)in warm and sunny Florida (we were having a cold Chicago winter), 3 day/2 night stay in Fort Lauderdale, round trip air and $200 spending cash. So I'm standing there listening to the radio and the DJ announces this is it, they're taking the 15th caller! I looked around and since the station was empty I figured I'd give it a shot, I mean what are the odds? I dialed the number...busy, as expected. I dialed again...busy. I looked out at the lot and saw a car pulling in but I had time for 1 more busy signal. I dialed the number...IT RANG! I looked at the lot, 2 more cars were pulling in. It was at about this point that I realized the cord on the phone (Remember those?) was not long enough to reach the counter. The phone rang and rang and people were now pumping their gas and more cars were pulling in! Finally there was a voice on the line. He said "Are you 18 or older?" I said yes and he said "stay on the line". So as a line of customers starts coming in to pay, here I am behind a plexi-glass window tied to the end of a 6 ft. phone cord that won't reach the counter. So I did the only thing I could think of. I yelled though the window at my customers "I'm THE 15th CALLER". To my surprise, everyone got excited for me and told people as they walked in (He's on the radio!). The crowd waited in hushed anticipation as the current song came to the end. The DJ came back on the air, put me on live, and told me I had won. Everyone in the station started cheering and clapping! I felt like I just won the super bowl! Once I was back off the air the radio station graciously let me take care of my very patient customers before taking my information. Everyone congratulated me as they paid and left. We were to leave the following week and everything went fine... until the day before we left |
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arthur stead Inner circle When I played soccer, I hit 1773 Posts |
Great so far, Daryl ... can't wait to hear the rest!
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Cliffg37 Inner circle Long Beach, CA 2491 Posts |
Hi All,
So, over in "not very magical, John requested that I tell the story of how I defended the "American Honor" over a game of Pinball. Fair enough, here it is. In the Eearly 80's I was in my early 20's and finishing up my college degree. I was running a little short on credits, so I took a January (winter) class. This would get my credits back on track. The class was a French class and it was a trip to Paris. We lived in a "youth Hostel" which is a european version of a no frills hotel for students that don't have any money. Mornings we took French classes for credits, afternoons were our own, and at dinner we would gather and debrief our experiences. Oh and one more thng to set the stage, I love pinball, and can be very good at it, but can also be inconsistant. I was standing in an arcade in Paris, not far from Le Centre Pompiedu. (A museum of modern art) I was playing a pinball game, and not doing very well. Four French boys about my age came over and they started making fun of me. My French is weak, but I know enough to pick up a few words, and I can read their attitudes. One Says to me, "Vous et American?" (Are you American) "Oui." I responded (yes) They laughed. One of them set a franc (money) coin on the machine. This is the code for, I am playing next. I guess it is a universal code, because I knew if from here and they knew it from there. There was one problem. I said I wasn't doing to well, but I did manage to win a game. Barely got enough points to do it, but I did do it. Before I could push the button to play, one of the boys inserted the Franc coin and now pushed the button twice. Both games were now in play. He pushed me out of the way, and began to play. Was he stealing my game? I just stood there to see what would happen. His first ball was pretty good, not great, but pretty good. He motioned for me to play. So I did. My first ball was OK, but not as good as his. Now I strated to get worried. I wondered if there was an assumed bet on the game, or any other stipulations I might not know about. I worried about physical violence too, no way I would take on four guys. I am a trained wrestler, but I am not Bruce Lee. He played his second ball and it was about as good as his first. My second ball was about as good as my first. The three other kids are grinning at me, and not in a positive way. He played his last ball and it was also good. He did not win a game, but he came very close. Now I am vervous as I start my last ball... I went on what my college room mate used to call a "Gerstman rave." Today I think it would be called "Being in the zone." I lit up extra ball. I won a game. I about trippled the score of my first two balls. When I finally lost the ball, (remember I still had an extra one) I saw the four punks walking out the door with heads hanging low. I thought about raising my middle finger and yelling "God Bless America Mother --------!" Had that happened with four French kids in an American arcade, I probably would have done it, but if I had yelled that in there... I probably would have been jumpped and beaten by everyone in the place. I had to be satisfied by my winning the game, and making the four kids shut up.
Magic is like Science,
Both are fun if you do it right! |
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arthur stead Inner circle When I played soccer, I hit 1773 Posts |
Great story, Cliff! Thanks for sharing it.
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slowkneenuh Regular user After 5,278+ posts, only credited with 133 Posts |
Enjoyable story Cliffg37. Glad you brought it to Speakers' Corner. Feel free to share more stories at any time as we all love stories based on personal experiences.
It's interesting how some of us share similar experiences. Earlier in this thread I talked about my interest and experience in auto racing but had to give it up for international travel. Around that time the SEGA DAYTONA USA Driving Arcade Video Game was available both domestically and internationally. It was my "fix" for substitute racing. In an arcade in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, I was playing it when some young locals came in and decided to challenge not only this American, but one considerably older than them. They also had the smirks, smiles and local language comments. Since anyone could just sit at a machines next to yours, they were automatically competing against me whether I wanted them or not. Needless to say I had the last laugh and enjoyed it thoroughly, and I know I caught them by surprise based on their priceless expressions.
John
"A poor workman always blames his tools" |
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
Great stories Lobo and Cliff, I'm just getting around to reading them!
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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arthur stead Inner circle When I played soccer, I hit 1773 Posts |
Got a bit of a problem with my computer (no, it's not a virus), which will have to be looked at. So I'll post this story, and then call it quits for a while, until my computer gets fixed. When I return, I'll look forward to reading many entertaining stories from other contributors!
When I was Musical Director with the Mamas and the Papas, we performed at a lot of casinos, from Las Vegas to Reno, Tahoe, and Atlantic City. In 1983 we were hired several times to be the resident band at The Sands Hotel in Vegas. In its heyday, The Sands was famous for its entertainment. Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy David Jr, Joey Bishop and Peter Lawford performed there during the filming of Ocean's 11. Senator John F. Kennedy was an occasional guest of Sinatra during the late 1950s. In 1967, new owner Howard Hughes added a 500-room circular tower, which made The Sands a Las Vegas landmark. This fact is important to my story, because you need to picture the layout: when you stepped off the elevator, you were in a circular hallway, with doors going all around the elevator. So once you entered your room, whatever floor you were on, your room's windows overlooked the Vegas landscape. I hope that description conveys it. So skip back to 1983: Whenever The Mamas and the Papas performed at The Sands, we were usually booked for 2 or 3 weeks at a time. During one of these stints with the M's & P's, I invited my Atlanta girlfriend to join me there for a few days. When Laura arrived, needless to say we had a great reunion. Spent the night together in my hotel room, and stayed in bed for most of the morning, too. But then I had to go downstairs to the theater, to rehearse the band because we were adding a new song to our repertoire, to be performed that night. So I showered and dressed, and left Laura to luxuriate in bed a little longer. During my absence, she thought she would tidy up a bit. So she lifted one of the breakfast trays, stepped out into the hall, and placed it against the wall just to the left of our room. To her dismay, she heard the door closing right behind her. And she didn't have a key! So she couldn't get back in the room without having to go downstairs to the front desk. But that wasn't the worst of her problems: Not only was she locked out ... she was also STARK NAKED! Plus, this being The Sands Hotel with its unique circular set-up, there was nowhere to hide! So just imagine being a resident on our floor, hearing a knock on your door, looking through the peephole, and seeing a beautiful, sexy blonde - without a stitch of clothing - doing her best to cover private parts with her hands! That's exactly what happened. Laura knocked on door after door ... but no one would help her! Obviously, some of the rooms were unoccupied at the time. But some people were there ... but refused to come to her aid! Finally, one man relented and opened his door just a crack. Laura explained the situation, asking if she could borrow a bathroom towel so she could cover herself and get a spare key from the front desk. Guess what he handed her, before slamming his door shut? A face cloth! So that's how my girlfriend went down the elevator, walked through the lobby to the front desk, and obtained a spare room key - absolutely naked except for a single face cloth to cover her essential parts! Needless to say, hundreds of hotel and casino clients couldn't believe their eyes. And for some strange reason, from that moment on, my status among the hotel staff increased dramatically! |
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Bob1Dog Inner circle Wife: It's me or this houseful of 1159 Posts |
Good story Arthur. Reminds me of an old joke about a woman in a similar situation, naked, locked out of her room and grabbed a pair of man's shoes outside a door waiting to be polished by a steward. She grabbed the pair of shoes and covers her private parts when a drunk wanders by, taking in the scene before his bloodshot eyes and says, "Atta' boy buddy, give 'er all ya got!"
What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 2:30 a.m. this morning, can you believe that, 2:30 a.m.!? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums. |
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Cliffg37 Inner circle Long Beach, CA 2491 Posts |
Gee Arthur, glad you kept abreast of the situation. Poor Laura. It must have taken amazing guts to go to the lobby that way. I thought she was going to use the tray for partial covering.
Magic is like Science,
Both are fun if you do it right! |
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Daryl -the other brother Special user Chicago 594 Posts |
"The story you are about to hear is true. The names have been changed to protect the utterly stupid."
Part 2 - Fire in the hole! Last time, in our voyage into my past, I was working at a gas station and won a radio contest to see Van Halen in Florida. I had been excited ever since winning the contest. The radio station had been playing my "ON THE AIR" clip over the last several days and I had been receiving numerous phone calls from friends who were hearing it on the radio. I was a celebrity celebrating my 15 min. of fame. After what seemed like a lifetime, the trip was finally arriving, all I had to do was finish my shift today and tomorrow my girl friend and I were off to warm and sunny Ft. Lauderdale, quite a contrast to Chicago where we were having a cold and snowy winter. On this particular day, it was extremely cold out, right around the zero mark, which was fine with me, it was warm in the station and the cold meant people wouldn't be out pumping gas if they didn't have to be. I was about half way through the shift and it was very slow as expected. Right now I had only one car on the lot, a white Monte Carlo, pumping gas at one of the outer islands. I was counting out the cash drawer when all of a sudden I heard a muted "Whump" sound come through the window. I looked up and saw FIRE! The entire outer island was in flames! The fire was so high it was bouncing off the canopy 20ft above. The Monte Carlo sat in the middle of this hell storm, the driver was running away, and to my horror, the gas nozzle was on the ground and it was still pumping gas all over the lot. The fire was growing larger with every second. My mind immediately recalled every Hollywood movie I had ever seen involving a fire at a gas station and I realized they all ended the same way...KA-BOOM! According to the police report this is what happened: The driver/owner of the vehicle, hereafter known as "The Moron" intended to fill his tank. The gas cap was located behind the back license plate. He inserted the nozzle into the tank and started the pump. Since he didn't have any gloves on in zero degree weather (he was a moron after all) he jammed his wallet in the nozzle trigger so he wouldn't have to use his hands to pump. As the gas was pumping, he attempted to open his trunk but the lock was froze so he pulled out his Bic lighter to warm up the key. (See where this is going?) He struck the lighter directly above the gas vapors coming from the tank! He said "All of a sudden I saw a big sheet of blue flames, in a panic, I pulled the nozzle out of the tank (without removing the wallet) and the flames went everywhere so I dropped the nozzle and started running." Meanwhile, back in the station... So I'm looking out the window, watching Armageddon unfold in the parking lot...on the day before my vacation. Luckily I remembered the emergency cut off switch. It was right next to the pump console, I saw it every day. What I didn't see was the dented thumb guard over the switch, this "safety" device was to prevent you from accidently hitting the switch but since it was dented in the middle it now prevented me from turning the pumps off at all! I would need a screw driver to remove the thumb guard, costing me precious minutes I didn't think I had. My brain was running at light speed trying to figure a way out of this mess. THE ELETRICAL BREAKERS!! I can run in the back room and trip the breakers! I raced out of the pay booth toward the back storage room. I think it was the pay booth door locking shut behind me that made me realize that the keys to get in the backroom were on the counter inside the pay booth that I had just locked myself out of! Will Daryl survive this blazing inferno? Will he make it to warm and sunny Florida? Is it true that Eddie Van Halen doesn't like brown M & M's? For the answer to these questions and many more stay tuned for Part 3 - The Aftermath |
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arthur stead Inner circle When I played soccer, I hit 1773 Posts |
Great story, Daryl! This is getting better and better. You should write for TV ... you know just where to pause for a "commercial break" so people are left hanging and wanting more. Can't wait for Part 3!
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arthur stead Inner circle When I played soccer, I hit 1773 Posts |
Quote:
On 2014-01-12 16:50, Cliffg37 wrote: You know, Cliff, I never thought of the tray! And it obviously didn't occur to Laura didn't either. Although, given the fact that she was a bit of an exhibitionist, maybe she deliberately ignored the tray. I guess we'll never know for sure ... |
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