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weepinwil Inner circle USA 3828 Posts |
Since we all are a bit cleaver, or is that clever? I thought it might be fun to list things a cadaver cannot do. I will start by saying a cadaver can't tell a joke with a straight face.
"Til Death us do part!" - Weepin Willie
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Perkins Special user 950 Posts |
I was going to say "work for the DMV"... but then I thought better of it.
The Séance Party
http://www.theseanceparty.com |
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Godzilla Inner circle Tied & Untied Witches on 5316 Posts |
I see this thread not lasting long... lol
But, here I go : What does a cadaver & pizza have in common ? They both can't scream, when put into a oven ! Also, a cadaver can't press her warm body against you !
"If you watch Godzilla backwards, it's about a big ass lizard who helps rebuild a half burnt-down city, then moonwalks back into the ocean"
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Godzilla Inner circle Tied & Untied Witches on 5316 Posts |
Maybe, a Cadaver thread should be moved downstairs into the 'Crypt' !
"If you watch Godzilla backwards, it's about a big ass lizard who helps rebuild a half burnt-down city, then moonwalks back into the ocean"
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bkowkabany Loyal user I have driven through the hearts of men 276 Posts |
A cadaver can do anything, if it is an abra cadaver.
Sorry. Bruce
Download our Free Magic Inventory and Show Creation software - www.mailware.com/magic
Mentalist by day. Bizzarist by night. |
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george1953 Inner circle Mallorca (Spain) 5943 Posts |
A cadaver can't give you a warm hug, only the cold shoulder
By failing to prepare, we are preparing to fail.
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Al Desmond Inner circle Secret Mountain Lair in Conifer, Co 1511 Posts |
Wow...
All these quips are giving me an idea for a great routine. |
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bkowkabany Loyal user I have driven through the hearts of men 276 Posts |
[quote]On Aug 11, 2014, Godzilla wrote:
What does a cadaver & pizza have in common ? They both can't scream, when put into a oven ! You sure? Bruce
Download our Free Magic Inventory and Show Creation software - www.mailware.com/magic
Mentalist by day. Bizzarist by night. |
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Godzilla Inner circle Tied & Untied Witches on 5316 Posts |
OK Bruce, maybe a pizza can scream.
"If you watch Godzilla backwards, it's about a big ass lizard who helps rebuild a half burnt-down city, then moonwalks back into the ocean"
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YitzhakNoDice Special user Portland, Oregon 517 Posts |
As we say in the Old Country, a group of cadavers of former musicians are a bunch of dead beats.
A wise man's question contains half the answer. - Solomon ben Judah, Philosopher
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weepinwil Inner circle USA 3828 Posts |
Cadavers can't complain about all the things they have to do.
"Til Death us do part!" - Weepin Willie
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weepinwil Inner circle USA 3828 Posts |
Quote:
On Aug 12, 2014, Al Desmond wrote: Go for it, Al!
"Til Death us do part!" - Weepin Willie
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Louis Cypher Veteran user 356 Posts |
Not so much a joke but love this story.
A doctor presents some medical students with a corpse. He tells them 'It is important to be comfortable with the cadaver'. He briefly inserts his finger into the naked corpse's anus. He then licks his finger. He instructs the students to do the same. One by one they reluctantly do the same. After they are done, the doctor says, 'It is important to watch carefully. I inserted my index finger and licked my ring finger.' |
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weepinwil Inner circle USA 3828 Posts |
Cadavers can't ask, "Does this coffin make me look fat?"
"Til Death us do part!" - Weepin Willie
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weepinwil Inner circle USA 3828 Posts |
Quote:
On Aug 12, 2014, Louis Cypher wrote: I was that instructor. Wasn't a doctor but an instructor. Wasn't medical school but embalming class. Didn't know the story had traveled that far. Love playing tricks on the embalming students.
"Til Death us do part!" - Weepin Willie
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bkowkabany Loyal user I have driven through the hearts of men 276 Posts |
I think that one has made the rounds. I have heard the story with a urine sample instead of a cadaver. Yours is funnier.
Download our Free Magic Inventory and Show Creation software - www.mailware.com/magic
Mentalist by day. Bizzarist by night. |
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Lo Pan Special user Haven't slept in weeks - but I now have 769 Posts |
I think there is an Ed Gorey style poem in here somewhere - Something starting along the lines of -
What are some things that a corpse can not do? They cant wink - well, anyway, they'll stop after a minute or two. They can not drive a car, try as the might they wont get far. A corpse can no longer dance - unless you use electricity per chance. And so on..... Here is an Gorey original: Each night Father fills me with dread When he sits on the foot of my bed; I'd not mind that he speaks In gibbers and squeaks, But for the seventeen years he's been dead. |
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Merlinsmagic Inner circle Daly City, CA 1606 Posts |
Cadavers can't get speeding tickets.......
Cadavers can't pull a rabbit out of a hat, but they are dead serious about keeping a straight face...... Cadavers can't loose a stairing contest...... & Cadavers can't complain about this thread......... |
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Michael Baker Eternal Order Near a river in the Midwest 11172 Posts |
Cadavers can't do the Hokey-Pokey. They put their whole self in and that's pretty much what it's all about.
~michael baker
The Magic Company |
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Brynmore14 Inner circle The Séance Chamber 1815 Posts |
Well they are never the life of the party.
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