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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Teach a child that violence is the answer.... (5 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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ed rhodes
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On Sep 16, 2014, RNK wrote:

I agreed with you that this was HORRIBLE! Any BEATING is HORRIBLE! But a spanking is not horrible. A Spanking is NOT a BEATING. My three boys were spanked (I say WERE because after a few spanks they associated bad behavior with pain and no longer do the things they did that got them the spanking because they remember the consequences) and now I NEVER have to spank them and they are the most loving, gentle, respectful kids. Not to mention- they LOVE me more than I can fathom. As a matter of fact all the teachers my sons have had in school RAVE about how good, respectful and kind my boys are to everyone including them. So don't tell me SPANKING messes a child up in the mind. BEATING- YES- will mess them up.


You had the bar lower than he did. But it was still physical violence as a deterrent.
"There's no time to lose," I heard her say.
"Catch your dreams before they slip away."
"Dying all the time, lose your dreams and you could lose your mind.
Ain't life unkind?"
LobowolfXXX
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On Sep 16, 2014, RNK wrote:
Quote:
On Sep 16, 2014, NYCTwister wrote:
Quote:
On Sep 16, 2014, RNK wrote:
I agree- A. Peterson didn't use corporal punishment he BEAT his child. Very disturbing and disgusting. And yet another child of his from, yes, another mother just came forward to say how he BEAT and left a scar below the child's eye. Horrible. If you do not have self-restraint and know the difference between spanking and beating then you need help. This discussion has been around here before. Spanking is absolutely fine yet BEATING is not!

RNK


This was a vicious assault against a helpless child. all the more sickening because he supposedly did it for "the childs own good." Spare the rod and all that.
He's done it before, leaving a scar near the childs eye. He could have easily blinded the child. He actually has a room set aside for this, with belts and who knows what else. He should be charged with every possible crime - assault, endangering the welfare of a child and anything else he can be LEGALLY charged with and if found guilty, which isn't a given considering the law in Texas, sentenced to the absolute maximum for each charge.

As far as corporal punishment is concerned I think that words and other forms of discipline are ultimately more effective.
Having said that, and having a child, I can see how some people might reach the point where a few swats on the behind, for shock value, might seem reasonable. I've been lucky that my son has been well behaved for the most part. Time outs and taking away the things he likes have been enough.
Though his mother and I are not together we've remained friends and are in synch when it comes to discipline. She has only swatted his butt two times to my knowledge, and both times were when he was three and he hit her out of frustration.
Both times she asked " Do you like getting hit? No? Then don't hit me." which I agreed with as it's morally correct in my mind.

To my mind the only justification for violence is in answer to violence towards you. Or the reasonable expectation of violence.

When are we going to begin removing violence from the human psyche on a fundamental level? If we don't where are we headed?
What's the human races endgame?

Call me naive but effects have causes.



I agreed with you that this was HORRIBLE! Any BEATING is HORRIBLE! But a spanking is not horrible. A Spanking is NOT a BEATING. My three boys were spanked (I say WERE because after a few spanks they associated bad behavior with pain and no longer do the things they did that got them the spanking because they remember the consequences) and now I NEVER have to spank them and they are the most loving, gentle, respectful kids. Not to mention- they LOVE me more than I can fathom. As a matter of fact all the teachers my sons have had in school RAVE about how good, respectful and kind my boys are to everyone including them. So don't tell me SPANKING messes a child up in the mind. BEATING- YES- will mess them up.


Would one counter-example change your mind?
"Torture doesn't work" lol
Guess they forgot to tell Bill Buckley.

"...as we reason and love, we are able to hope. And hope enables us to resist those things that would enslave us."
RNK
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No. I was a product of being spanked and love my parents dearly. I have no emotional/mental scars because of it. As a matter of fact- I am glad they did it- it made me the person who I am today- I have my skeletons in my closet as we all do but all in all God has blessed me with a great life and family. My thoughts are, with the proper interaction and display of affection with your child after spanking- no ill-effects will be left with him/her. Meaning- after they calm down you sit with them and explain what just went down and why things happened the way they did and how MUCH you LOVE them and that spanking is something you do not like to do because you LOVE them so much. "But, when you don't listen to mommy and daddy and do bad things there is consequences you have to face". It doesn't take long for the child to get the right picture and understand- hence the spanking really ends up being a deterrent after a few spanks. Then you only have to mention the words, "Do I have to get the spatula?" And let me tell you- my kids straiten up very fast. If you do it right, you really don't have to spank the kids but a few times then they get the picture FAST. As a matter of fact- my 7 and 10 year old, I don't even have to threaten with the spatula anymore- they understand what is expected of them in terms of behavior and respect for others and their property. My three and a half year old is to the point where I do not have to spank him- he to understands and all I have to do when he is acting up is mention the "word" and he straitens up quick. As a matter of fact, we are to the point where I do not have to scream or yell- I calmly say, "I asked you nicely to please stop or don't do that, now do I have to get the spatula?" And his answer is always, "No. OK Daddy. I won't do that". And then he comes and runs into my arms for a big hug! And I then tell him what a good boy he is by listening to me and how much I love him!

I don't have to sit through temper fits or any screaming by them- after a few swats- they understand- then everything is calmly sorted out because they KNOW the consequences for not listening and being bad.

RNK
Ray Tupper.
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A firm voice is as much, if not more, of a deterrent than the palm of a hand.
I'm a parent with a twenty year old who won't have to belt her kids either, because
she knows how to mete out punishment without striking.
The thought that a grown adult has to beat/spank (means the same, just sugar coated)a child
to gain the level of behaviour that that person requires is abhorrent to me.
Pick on someone your own size!
What do we want?
A cure for tourettes!
When do we want it?
C*nt!
HudsonView
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It depends on the age of the child. A 2 year old who is caught biting gets a swat on the rear to let them know the consequences of their actions. If you are paddling your kid past the age of 3 however, you need to learn some parenting skills. The best punishment, I found, having raised two sucessful and caring children, is to remove things they love: toys, games, computers, tv. Eventually they get the message.
tommy
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I'm the man!

My grandson, he asked me if I wanted to see something today. He took off his shirt, lifted his arms and said “I'm the man!” It seems he now has a few arm pit hairs.

So these people, who hit children, beware, beware the thing that is comming, as these kids, they get big as time goes by and when they do, they will try it out with you.
If there is a single truth about Magic, it is that nothing on earth so efficiently evades it.

Tommy
ed rhodes
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I love this t-shirt! But we've seen I have an odd sense of humor;

http://www.badideatshirts.com/DONT-HIT-K......P25.aspx
"There's no time to lose," I heard her say.
"Catch your dreams before they slip away."
"Dying all the time, lose your dreams and you could lose your mind.
Ain't life unkind?"
Pecan_Creek
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Quote:
On Sep 16, 2014, RNK wrote:
[

. As a matter of fact all the teachers my sons have had in school RAVE about how good, respectful and kind my boys are to everyone including them. .


Kind of the same way North Korean citizens are so well behaved, huh?
RNK
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Quote:
On Sep 17, 2014, Ray Tupper. wrote:
A firm voice is as much, if not more, of a deterrent than the palm of a hand.
I'm a parent with a twenty year old who won't have to belt her kids either, because
she knows how to mete out punishment without striking.
The thought that a grown adult has to beat/spank (means the same, just sugar coated)a child
to gain the level of behaviour that that person requires is abhorrent to me.
Pick on someone your own size!


LOL. Um. Ok. Read the bible and see what it says about spanking. Spanking is NOT beating. How would you know anything about it since you never did it as you claimed.
RNK
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On Sep 17, 2014, tommy wrote:
I'm the man!

My grandson, he asked me if I wanted to see something today. He took off his shirt, lifted his arms and said “I'm the man!” It seems he now has a few arm pit hairs.

So these people, who hit children, beware, beware the thing that is comming, as these kids, they get big as time goes by and when they do, they will try it out with you.


I was spanked as a kid (not beat)- I would NEVER raise a hand to my parents and the thought never even crossed my mind. Why? Because of the overshadowing love my parents shed on us growing up in. Because of the quality time they spent with us playing and explaining life and it's nuances. The problem therein lies when a parent thinks that just by spanking their kid that they will learn and stop being bad. This is false. It takes a lot more time and investment as doing the previously mentioned things to raise a child to the best of your ability so when they turn 18 they can as the BIG GUY states, "Spread their wings and fly"!
Pecan_Creek
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I always get my parenting advice from books written in the stone age.

Yup, Everthing the human race needs to know was discovered prior to the year 50!
Pakar Ilusi
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On Sep 18, 2014, Pecan_Creek wrote:
I always get my parenting advice from books written in the stone age.

Yup, Everthing the human race needs to know was discovered prior to the year 50!


Smile
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
RNK
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On Sep 18, 2014, Pecan_Creek wrote:
Quote:
On Sep 16, 2014, RNK wrote:
[

. As a matter of fact all the teachers my sons have had in school RAVE about how good, respectful and kind my boys are to everyone including them. .


Kind of the same way North Korean citizens are so well behaved, huh?


Don't know- never made it to North Korea to see first hand how the kids act? Have you made it over there to see first hand?
Pecan_Creek
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No. but I have faith that the majority citizens in a fascist dictatorship are throughly brainwashed and frightened in to total submission. Of course I got this from reading books written within the last 80 years , so I could be competely misinformed.
RNK
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On Sep 18, 2014, Pecan_Creek wrote:
No. but I have faith that the majority citizens in a fascist dictatorship are throughly brainwashed and frightened in to total submission. Of course I got this from reading books written within the last 80 years , so I could be competely misinformed.


So what's your statement have to do with my boys being respectful boys that listen who do not cause trouble and are well liked by their teachers?
Dannydoyle
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Why has the mode of communication from some become angry sarcasm and condescending tones?

From both sides mind you.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus
<BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell
Pecan_Creek
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On Sep 18, 2014, RNK wrote:
Quote:
On Sep 18, 2014, Pecan_Creek wrote:
No. but I have faith that the majority citizens in a fascist dictatorship are throughly brainwashed and frightened in to total submission. Of course I got this from reading books written within the last 80 years , so I could be competely misinformed.


So what's your statement have to do with my boys being respectful boys that listen who do not cause trouble and are well liked by their teachers?


Real simple... if you beat and terrorize them into submission , of course they are well behaved. I'm talking about the psychological terrorism of organized religion as well as the physical beatings.
NYCTwister
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On Sep 19, 2014, Pecan_Creek wrote:
Quote:
On Sep 18, 2014, RNK wrote:
Quote:
On Sep 18, 2014, Pecan_Creek wrote:
No. but I have faith that the majority citizens in a fascist dictatorship are throughly brainwashed and frightened in to total submission. Of course I got this from reading books written within the last 80 years , so I could be competely misinformed.


So what's your statement have to do with my boys being respectful boys that listen who do not cause trouble and are well liked by their teachers?


Real simple... if you beat and terrorize them into submission , of course they are well behaved. I'm talking about the psychological terrorism of organized religion as well as the physical beatings.


And down the rabbit hole we go.
If you need fear to enforce your beliefs, then your beliefs are worthless.
stoneunhinged
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A spatula?
NYCTwister
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On Sep 19, 2014, stoneunhinged wrote:
A spatula?


: a kitchen tool that has a handle which is bent upward and a wide, thin blade used for lifting and turning foods on a hot surface

: a kitchen tool that has a long handle and short, soft blade and that is used especially for mixing, spreading, etc.

: a kitchen tool similar to a knife that has a flexible blade and that is used for mixing, spreading, etc.
If you need fear to enforce your beliefs, then your beliefs are worthless.
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