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Profile of DanielRumanos
(Adapted for performance use from "Under the Pyramids/Imprisoned with the Pharaohs" by Harry Houdini & HP Lovecraft)

It is an undeniably true axiom that mystery attracts mystery. In the very many years since my work as *DANIEL RUMANOS: The Magician-Detective* has become known to the public (albeit often in the woefully distorted forms made available by the tabloid media), countless individuals and groups have accordingly contacted me with problems related to the supposedly supernatural and the possibly paranormal. Unfortunately, not all of these enquiries have come from those who are actually seeking my assistance. Some have appeared via certain sources who have wished to destroy -- or at least to unmistakably humiliate -- me.

One of the most absolutely hideous of these aforesaid encounters took place when my incomparably lovely wife Katrina and I were on a long-overdue vacation in Egypt. I had, as far as is possible, powered down my Magical abilities in an attempt to seek, in relative anonymity, a brief respite from my often physically, psychologically, and spiritually exhausting career.

After a day of shopping at the many marketplaces of Cairo, Kat was sleeping peacefully in our hotel room while I, still feeling a bit "keyed-up", took a walk down to the establishment's lounge for a glass of milk. I soon enough fell into a conversation there with a man named Abdul al-Drogoman, an individual claiming to offer his services as a guide to only certain highly distinguished visitors (such as, of course, myself) who would perhaps be interested in a private tour of the lesser-known parts of Cairo. Despite the lateness of the hour and the darkness that had fallen, I found his offer to be far to much to resist. The possibility of witnessing some obscure Islamic rites and perhaps even some arcane survivals of the Ancient Egyptian religion appealed to me greatly.

But soon after we left the hotel, indeed when we had only gone a few short blocks, my guide fell into a conflict with a visiting Saudi leader by the name of Eli Aziz. I was doing my best to break up their fight when al-Drogoman suddenly requested that I aid him in settling the dispute by witnessing the two of them in what he referred to as a "custom of supreme antiquity in Egypt" -- a boxing match to be held atop the Great Pyramid of Giza!

I soon discovered, however, what I actually should have been suspicious of from the start, and indeed most certainly would have been had I not been over-tired and intrigued by the promise of unearthing secret mysteries (Oy, you certainly understand?). Yes, the entire “argument” was a mere ruse specifically designed to lure me into the desert at night and to kidnap me. Before I could even activate my own mystical powers, I found myself tied up and blindfolded, then taken to an unknown location, and lowered into an incredibly deep pit!!

Many were the unspeakable and spectacular horrors of which I dreamed during that terrible descent into Acheronic darkness, but I finally awakened from whatever trance under which they had surreptitiously put me. Managing to free myself from the restraining ropes using the methods of escapology of which I am master, I found myself at the bottom of the immense abyss which I immediately suspected must be the legendary secret temple said in certain obscure tales to be found under the Great Sphinx.

Still weakened by my experience, I traveled through the dark -- which was only dimly lit by a quality of phosphorescence in the towering stone walls -- in an attempt to find an exit, following a draft of air I perceived and hoped was from outdoors. Instead, I eventually discovered that I had actually been heading farther underground, and eventually stumbled down a flight of stairs and landed in a large ceremonial cavern.

It was there in that horridly foul and bloodcurdling chamber that I witnessed an eldritch army of half-human, half-animal mummies, led by the obscenely ancient Pharaohs I recognized by their hieroglyphic insignia as Mizraim and Kheph-Ra, leaving offerings to a gigantic, five-headed beast with myriad tentacles -- an horribly grotesque monstrosity that rose from a most unspeakably deep orifice in that terrifying ritual hall.

By now I had recovered my Magic power of teleportation, and as I escaped this fearful and abominably evil scene, I suddenly realized that the giant creature was merely the forepaw of a much larger deity -- *the hideously wicked, phantasmagorical, and horrendous monstrosity in whose perverse image the Sphinx was carved*!!

Now, I am sure that all this was just an hallucination, and indeed several subsequent attempts to find the underground cavern have led to nothing, but of all that I there encountered in that night of ghastly horrors, what haunts me the most is the resemblance I perceived between the ghostly phantom of the Pharaoh Kheph-Ra and my "guide", the nefarious al-Drogoman!

But I know that it is all only a dream...
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Profile of pieaddict
I enjoyed this, thanks for sharing
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."
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Profile of BeThePlunk
Echoes of Poe. It was fun.
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Profile of Amro
Interesting. Its the first time I heard about "Under the Pyramids". I just read the wiki-article. Is there a magic routine associated with the story?
R. Steiner
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Profile of R. Steiner
I, too, enjoyed this. Yes, thanks for sharing!
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Profile of Nekromant
Really nice, thanks for sharing
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Profile of zoic
Thumbs up from me too. Thank you for sharing.
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