Several months ago I was sharing the stage with a performer who introduced the majority of effects with either "I'd like to play a little game" and/or "For my next trick..." Seriously.

At first I rolled my eyes and thought how annoying his verbal habit was. Then I watched clip of my own show and noted how often I say "for me" as in "I want you to write something down FOR ME." "Think about what you wrote FOR ME."

I counted four times in a 45 minute show where I said FOR ME...and it got more irritating each time. It's not like those words are in my script. They aren't. They just pop out of my mouth. So now I'm on guard against every single FOR ME utterance. It isn't so much the phrase...it is that I am onstage saying things I am not thinking about.

I think many performers have verbal tics like this. What are yours?

David

David

I can't think of one at the moment but I'm sure I do it. I'll have to watch some footage of my act and see what I find, it will most likely be that everyone knows I do it except me :-!

I don't say this, but it is one for sure just before the reveal..."Wouldn't it be amazing if.."

I tend to use OK too much, and "Right then..."

and david, I have noticed A LOT of people say "for me" - you're not alone, I probably do it too, but I am very aware of that phrase...because it sounds like its either a constant form of a favour, or a strange kind of "on my behalf"....

we all have 'em though...thankfully, my potty-mouth doesn't bleed through to any kind of performing...

And let's not forget that we know one person who likes to say, "isn't that fair? and he is doing just fine.

We all have our little quirks that makes us stand out. I suggest that we practice our routines and come up with different words or statements that we can use. Maybe come up with three different ways of saying it and mix and match.

I thought of this problem years ago and wrote and learn my scribe to prevent me from doing this.



Ray

Welcome, I suppose, to a world of tradeoffs. Let me reflect a bit from "Rhetorical Theory 101."

The one way to totally avoid the problem David identified is a memorized script. But, unless the speaker is experiencing the meaning while speaking, it can come off as "canned;" and it can add to performance anxiety, big time. Will I remember the next line? Will I remember the next? (One could, of course, avoid that problem with a manuscript in hand, but that is not a performance option.)

"Impromptu," just making it up as I go along, is also not an option--except perhaps for the most informal, casual, spontaneous occasion.

That leaves "Extempore" performance. One has a full outline or script treatment, well rehearsed with some lines memorized, but formulating much of what one is saying on the fly--which adds spontaneity and energy, but with the risk of garbage lines sneaking in. David seems to perform within the Extempore camp and, as far as I know, he is doing the one thing to improve that approach: getting feedback, from a coach or a recording, and working on one stylistic improvement at a time.

Hope that helps. If it is too academic, I apologize; I will try to do better the next time!

George

I always find myself saying "Hi, I'm David Thiel", I can't seem to shake it.

The last time I was in an editing bay working with and editor on a video project I noticed I kept using the words "all right" five times in a single show. We started cracking up. Would have never noticed it if not for the video.

"Wouldn't be interesting if"

Guilty as charged. Working on it.

Its interesting that even though we try to script such things out, they still sneak in. I am very careful to exclude words like 'me' and 'my' from scripts. But I can't say honestly that they don't appear occasionally.

Mine was, "Okay." I also found myself unconsciously starting to imitate some of the young guys by finding everything to be "awesome." I corrected that by substituting the more appropriate, "BFD." It suits my character better.

(For those not familiar with this highly technical phrase, see: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=BFD)

BFD? NFW!

(LOL)!


David

Yeah, I had the same problem with the word ok. I kept saying it between effects or when I needed a second to think. I made a conscious effort to either stop saying it or replace it with 'so' which I was advised to do as 'so' leads into the next sentence rather than finishing off the previous one.

For a long time, I used the expression MD referenced: "Is that fair?" My partner Sheree said: "Why do you keep saying that? Why WOULDN'T it be fair?" Her idea was something along the lines of: "Look GOOF...why introduce the idea that something might not be fair? Isn't that a little like saying 'Look here...a PERFECTLY ORDINARY deck of CARDS. No ro**h and smooth...no cli**ed corners...no sta**s...nossir. COMPLETELY ORDINARY." She was right. Again. Of course.

But I think we also have physical gestures that need to be looked at. I remember being utterly horrified way back in the early 1990's when I saw my show and noticed how often I turned my back to the audience...or lumbered across the stage without even the slightest touch of grace.

Now I try to be very conscious of what I do with my body when I'm performing. For example: I sat down in front of a mirror and played several scenarios out in my mind and reacted to them without speaking -- relating to the scenario only with my facial expressions and my body. (It's probably best that you lock the door before doing this. )

For example: I put myself in the scenario of appearing in front of a large audience and genuinely having no idea what the spectator was thinking of...and I watched what I did with my gestures. I noticed that I touched my face, stroked my beard...ran my fingers through my hair. I noticed also that my eyes narrowed and my body tensed up.

Believe it or not -- this was a valuable lesson for me. The way you use your body can add tremendous impact to your performance.

How did I react when I FINALLY got the word/phrase/picture the spectator had been thinking of? What did VICTORY look like? What did CONCERN look like? What did CONTINUE TO MESS WITH ME AND JUST SEE WHAT HAPPENS, DORK look like?

Seeing what the REAL reaction looked like helped me to not only re-create the expression when I needed to...but also to avoid over-creating (overacting) when performing it.

I'm a big believer in non-verbal communication. People learn to "understand" with their bodies -- communicate with facial expressions -- long before they learn words. I'm conscious of using my hands and arms to underscore or accent something I'm saying to the audience or a volunteer. Overdoing it makes me look like a windmill on crack. But using these gestures carefully greatly adds to whatever I'm saying.

The only way I'll ever be able to notice this stuff is by seeing a tape of my show.

David

One thing I'm really tired of is performers who always "high-five" their volunteers.

Not too academic George....that is a very enlightening post.

David....thank-you for bringing this topic up for consideration and discussion.

Rich

I'm with you David! We first had to start recording and rewatching oral arguments in law school for that very purpose. I do that with all of my shows as well. I found what worked best for me in trial. I use some of the same techniques in shows.

When watching the last round of shows, I still found those verbal tics though.

"Now I'm going to do..." and "Now I want you to do."

No need to say that all, just do it. The only exception is in giving instructions where you will need the spectator to do something.

Those are my recent ones.

I had to work hard to overcome the highly patronising, "Great, and..." and "Great, now..." every time the participant did what I asked.

The way I overcame it was.... I read "The Charisma Myth" by Olivia Fox Cabane and learned that being strong and taking charge is still likeable if you convey warmth. I didn't have to convey friendliness in my words if I exuded a warm and loving strength in my body and actions. I let my presentation persona become much more on an in-charge personality, and my directions to participants remained friendly, but became more authoritative. Saying "Great" each time they did as asked was weakening my stage presence by almost implying that I was happy they'd understood what to do. When I started giving commands with an expectation that they would be followed correctly, I found (and perhaps it was only in my imagination, I don't know) that most of the applause got bigger. I think it's because the increased power and presence leads to greater mystique.

As to the OP, though, "For ME" is something I really struggle to listen to other people saying. It was one of the points I was trying to drive towards in this thread over in Inner Thoughts. In my (proud) opinion, adding the words "for me" to your requests on stage is weak and makes you less likeable to the audience.

I think it's very hard to watch yourself perform.

There are a lot of good ones in Maximum Entertainment, Chapter 9, "Words and Phrases We Can Do Without," p. 133.

This is so true in all areas of life, I'll have to seek out the book you mention for a read. Thanks CJ