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Gbhunter77 Veteran user 379 Posts |
Most teenagers have vision of what meeting one and only will be...its fantastic just like the music videos. And some get just that. I knowthis seems like some sort of plea for helpbut its not. Its catharsis, I have been **** ugly and insane strange since I was in school to have a girl look at me meant only one thing.. I was the butt of some joke..i was a wonderful friend but that's it. I was alwys an outcast I never fit, I just could not relate to beople my age. I was mocked for my weight...up intil I had some sort of breck down and proceeded to attack a locker wth such ferocity tha blood when flying all over the place and I had to be subdued by multiple teachers. The only girls that liked me were the total outcasts, but I think this was only due to the limited availability. My whole scool like you want to be differen! But that's not true! Differen in high school is a death sentence. I was teased relentlessly then one day a guy bigger than me got in my face and started remarking about my sexuality, my parents and nationality. I do not know what happened but this hatred formed inside me as he was face to face moking me, its like a rage woke up! I grabbed the guy after getting punched twice piced him up let out some blood thirsty scream and threw him into the cafaterial table. I was going to hurt him very very bad, but the staff got a hold of me before hand. I sstill am repulsive to women, non will even engage me in idle chatter. It hurts really bad.
My youtube channel check it out its magic.
im not great but getting better. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMvQIycva0rFOIdArln7lEg |
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lunatik Inner circle 3225 Posts |
I think if one takes care of themselves, wears decent clothes, smells good, and smiles and laughs a lot, there will be people drawn to you. Be the first to initiate contact, start a small conversation with no pre conceived ideas or expectations where it will go. I can make it short and sweet and tell them it was good meeting them and give them a great smile and possibly a hand shake. Get used to doing that in the grocery store, the mall, library etc and you will see things turn around. Maybe join a club that interests you, you're almost guaranteed to make some nice acqantentences and possibly some good friends. Give it a try and start off small, but start somewhere and most of all, have some fun!
"Don't let your Dreams become Fantasies"
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Pakar Ilusi Inner circle 5777 Posts |
I am saying this with the sincerest intention of helping you out. At least with an idea.
Join a Martial Arts Club or MMA. Great place to make friends, exercise and let some controlled agression out. Really. All the best on your journey.
"Dreams aren't a matter of Chance but a matter of Choice." -DC-
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Destiny Inner circle 1429 Posts |
I watched a couple of your videos and expected a scared little mouse but you were confidant and articulate and personable, so you will have no trouble putting the excellent advice of the previous two posters into practice.
And don't describe yourself as repulsive - there are very few repulsive human beings on this planet, and those that are, are because of behaviour, not their looks. There is always someone out there for everyone if you focus not on yourself, but on other people - try to make other people happy, not yourself, and happiness will sneak up on you unannounced. I have always taken a lesson from the times I've seen widowed people in their eighties, or even older, find love and companionship again, and get married, in old peoples homes. So long as you have breath in your body, you are capable of enjoying life. |
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Mr. Mystoffelees Inner circle I haven't changed anyone's opinion in 3623 Posts |
Watched a couple as well. I totally agree with Destiny & the other advice above. Keep your head together and you will be just fine. I once had a great teacher who always encouraged my to "act as if". Her mantra was "To be confident you must act confident, and if you act confident you will be confident". I have substituted other words for confident and found her mantra worked as well. Go. Do. Be...
Jim
Also known, when doing rope magic, as "Cordini"
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Gbhunter77 Veteran user 379 Posts |
Thanks.i have always had a.. stigma follow me. Like I said I waS big my head did not fit a standard high school football helmet, I had to get one from a university team. There was one girl that was oh so hot and oh so bad. ( I liked bad girls at the time). She got in fight and the students left her to lay there...Im a Christian and for some stupid reason I I felt obligated to help her even at the cursing and bad mouthing of my fellow classmates. We walked to the bus...she stumbled. Having her arm on my shoulder made me sweat like a guy about to be audited by the IRS. She was gorgeous but not the kind of girl you bring home to a Polish family. On the bus just before her stop she got up and in a normal voice (so everyone heard)(were on a public bus). She sais you do not look like some one attractive unless people know you. You have no idea the things I want to do to you, but it would feel like ^/$= a preist...you are too good I'm not, its best we don't mix the world needs people like you...even thou you finish last. She gave me a peck and left...I was mortified she said this out loud on a crouded bus. She was so hot in my opinion!!! But I was a goodie goodie.
The only event that happened after that was months later she grabbed my butt not knowing it was me as I was in football gear...I did not play football because I wanted, I did it to improve my image... I was on the Chess team,science olympiad,university science fair,mathematics team, computer science team I was nerd extrordinare! I needed something so I joined football. Even then I was a nerd, I would put my gear before the game and girls forgot about the nerd inside I was some sex symbol now,i must have been grabbed a pinched dosens of times but I was still the same person. I even noted to one of the females its me Paul...the guy you never pay attention to. Her answer was blunt. Just shut up and let me have my moment
My youtube channel check it out its magic.
im not great but getting better. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMvQIycva0rFOIdArln7lEg |
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Destiny Inner circle 1429 Posts |
Paul, I know she meant well but she was wrong that good people finish last - plenty of good people have great lives - as to the ones that don't - the reasons are many and varied and even beyond our comprehension - now stop beating yourself up - and put into action some of the great advice above - I agree with every word of advice given you in this thread - we've all been there at some stage - you're not the first and won't be the last, and we're old enough to know you can improve your life if you just try/ Good Luck - and get to it.
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Cliffg37 Inner circle Long Beach, CA 2491 Posts |
Hi Paul,
I don't know how tall you are, but after hitting puberty, I was the second shortest guy in my class. I was also the "fat kid" in high school and did not really hit my stride till later. There were two things that helped me gain self-condifence, and leave the world of Social Outcastia. One was wrestling. I wss never a "good" wrestler, but I won more than I lost becasue I knew how to throw my weight around. My coach was former military and hated having one fat kid on the team. He hated me too. He used to rag on me about dieting, but he kept me on the team because when wrestling by weight class, I could beat the other teams six footers more often than not. (Note, got my buitt kicked moret han once too and coach never let me forget that) The other was learning to be an escape artist. I very purposefully around age 16-17 started learing to escaep from handcuffs. I did this becasue I needed something I could do that I would be ther "best" at, and ithad to be something that others (especially those who would make fun of me) would be afraid to even try. You seem to be well on your way, you have found magic. Keep at it, and use it. Don't try to force yourself into situations. If you can sit at a table, and perform for one or two people at school, let that draw a crowd. It can work for you. I wish you the best my freind. Keep at it and don' give up. Some times nice guys get taken advantage of, but nice guys DO NOT finish last. Some times it just takes us a little longer to find the path we need.
Magic is like Science,
Both are fun if you do it right! |
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Dougini Inner circle The Beautiful State Of Maine 7130 Posts |
Paul, I can relate. You cannot tell much by my avatar. You wanna talk BUTT-ugly? I've been known as FUGLY! Meaning EFFING ugly! I'm 5'6. A dump truck. Never been married. At 59, it ain't gettin' any better. The ONLY time a pretty girl looks twice at ME, is to give a description to the police! If I look to long in the mirror, my REFLECTION looks away!
When I was a kid, my DOG wouldn't even play with me! It eventually committed suicide. Slit its own paws! My parents tried, though. Even put a T-Bone around my neck. I have had girlfriends. Very few. They dated me because they felt sorry for me. Little troll was lonely. Awww! Bull****! None of them lasted. Not because I could make a train take a dirt road, either! I was a broke, loser broadcaster! A RADIO dj! The lowest form of life! When listeners found out what I looked like they were SHOCKED! I have to admit I have a golden VOICE! But this FACE! I mean, when I was BORN, the doctor slapped my mother! Plus...now...I've lost a few teeth... Oldness is creeping up on me. Not sure I could perform today. Been ten years since...you know. Even then, it was just a "pity ****". But ya know... I'm not unhappy! I have other avenues of life that are satisfying. I LOVE women, but romance is over-rated! Doug |
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Gbhunter77 Veteran user 379 Posts |
But I still think about these people. My goodie godie is sick! In two different places I was called father Paul. People came to me for problems...the hell did I do? I could not meet a woman in a regular maner, I was fat ugly and that's all it takes. I don't think like most people, I'm very socially awkward, its very hard for me to tak to another person face to face. Which is why I do not have friends I can hang out wit. I have many many hobbies and have tried many things, I don't talk about it because my best friend dumped me after saying "is there a ^%=/&^ thing you have not done. Why am I punished for living life women find me pepulsive. I am married but it is nice to hear someone thinks you are cute. So far my luch has been with women 2+ times my age..not quite what I was looking for. It such being alone, no place to go, if I do its by myself and no one to talk to. I wonder if its really worth while. On a side not at night in a parking lot I have had women screem and run plus call the cops...the officers show and ask what am I doing and being ****ed off "I said looking for my car, but once that lady flipped out I started running sice I figured someone was chasing us".
My youtube channel check it out its magic.
im not great but getting better. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMvQIycva0rFOIdArln7lEg |
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Dougini Inner circle The Beautiful State Of Maine 7130 Posts |
I feel ya. Married eh? How's that working out? You're lucky. Never even came CLOSE to that. I'd go to weddings to catch the garter, just so I could feel a girl's THIGH! Can't imagine marriage! Hang in there, man! I know a guy that looks kinda like you! He's heavier than YOU are! He's a goof! He draws women to him like a MAGNET! It's rumored he's hung like a horse, but in reality...he has MONEY! That makes a man VERY attractive to women!
Doug |
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arthur stead Inner circle When I played soccer, I hit 1773 Posts |
Quote:
On Jun 28, 2015, Gbhunter77 wrote: You're married? What will your wife say when she finds out about these confessionals? |
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Dougini Inner circle The Beautiful State Of Maine 7130 Posts |
Quote:
It sucks being alone, no place to go, if I do, it's by myself, and no one to talk to. Your WIFE doesn't TALK to you? Alone??? I am con-FOOSED! Doug |
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rockwall Special user 762 Posts |
Quote:
On Jun 28, 2015, Dougini wrote: LOL, you gonna be here all week Doug? I'll bet Rodney Dangerfield was a favorite comic of yours! |
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Dougini Inner circle The Beautiful State Of Maine 7130 Posts |
Ha! Forgot about Rodney Dangerfield! I'm more of a Sam kinison kinda guy! But yeah. Maybe I'll pass the hat. But I'm serious. I can relate to Paul's plight. If I get really down, I smoke a doob'. It's legal here. And, it works. Paul may not have that option. Unfortunately wishful thinking gets you nowhere. One has to love one's SELF first. That is key.
Doug |
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Dougini Inner circle The Beautiful State Of Maine 7130 Posts |
We had one guy who talked like this. Remember Strange Tasting Fishsticks? He took his own life. He had VERY similar problems. And I'm not laughing at that. Humor CAN be a good thing, though.
Doug |
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Destiny Inner circle 1429 Posts |
Quote:
On Jun 28, 2015, Gbhunter77 wrote: Ummm Did this happen just the once, or... as it reads... more than once? If you are saying it's happened more than once either you need to behave better, or you are playing with us. |
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Dougini Inner circle The Beautiful State Of Maine 7130 Posts |
C'mon, Paul! Don't disappear! Nobody is laughing at you!
Doug |
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Gbhunter77 Veteran user 379 Posts |
Happened 3 times. Once the TSA gave me the third degree because I looked like a mob enforcer. I was just taking my mom to the airport...and since I am Christian my wife knows all my secrets.
My youtube channel check it out its magic.
im not great but getting better. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMvQIycva0rFOIdArln7lEg |
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Dougini Inner circle The Beautiful State Of Maine 7130 Posts |
Quote:
On Jun 28, 2015, Dougini wrote: Paul, can you explain this? Wife? And you are ALONE? No one to talk to? Makes no sense... Doug |
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