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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » My neighborhood was so bad that... (9 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Michael Rubinstein
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V.I.P.
3947 Posts

Profile of Michael Rubinstein
I need some new lines for a routine I perform. I am not happy with what I have so far.
My neighborhood is so bad that not a day goes by when someone doesn't mug.....for the camera
My neighborhood is so bad that some guy walked into a bar, and got himself a shot...
My neighborhood is so bad that last night someone stole the street in front of my house. It was a clear case of highway robbery...
Go.
First edition and reprint of Rubinstein Coin Magic sold out in RECORD TIME! The good news, though, is that I have reprinted the book once again (they are selling like hotcakes!), so there are enough for everyone!! As such, and for the last time, I again have a limited supply of books that I can sign. All come with a special FREE GIFT until supplies are gone, so first come, first serve! To order, be sure to send me an email at rubinsteindvm@aol.com . The books are here and ready to ship!
RUBINSTEIN COIN MAGIC- The biggest book on coin magic since Bobo's Modern Coin Magic, and the most important since David Roth's Expert Coin Magic! Hardbound, 500 pages, 20 chapters of state of the art coin magic illustrated with 930 crisp photos! A contribution chapter from over 20 of the world's top coin magicians! This will be the book against which all future books on coin magic will be measured! Already called a Modern Classic!!
And if anyone (USA ONLY) needs some of the coin stuff used in the book, shoot me an email at rubinsteindvm@aol.com as I have some limited supplies of coins and props used on the book.
mastermindreader
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V.I.P.
Seattle, WA
12589 Posts

Profile of mastermindreader
My school was so bad that there were people in every classroom wearing black leather, chains and holding switchblades. And those were the teachers.
balducci
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Loyal user
Canada
230 Posts

Profile of balducci
My neighbourhood is so bad that we're petitioning the city for a ______ because that would have to be an improvement.

Fill in the blank with something NIMBY protesters campaign against. E.g., a pork rendering plant, a needle exchange program clinic, a red light district, etc.
Make America Great Again! - Trump in 2020 ... "We're a capitalistic society. I go into business, I don't make it, I go bankrupt. They're not going to bail me out. I've been on welfare and food stamps. Did anyone help me? No." - Craig T. Nelson, actor.
Salguod Nairb
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Room 101
0 Posts

Profile of Salguod Nairb
My neighborhood is so bad our local stray dog is Cerberus.
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness...
TomBoleware
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Inner circle
Hattiesburg, Ms
2755 Posts

Profile of TomBoleware
My neighborhood is so bad that I moved my backdoor to the front
so I wouldn’t be seen entering my house.


Tom
"Entrepreneurs are willing to work 80 hours a week to avoid working 40 hours a week"--Lori Greiner

www.tomboleware.com
Tom Jorgenson
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Inner circle
LOOSE ANGLES, CALIFORNIA
4452 Posts

Profile of Tom Jorgenson
Off thetop of my head...

My neighborhood is so bad the Scout Leader is a 94 pound sewer rat.

My neighborhood is so bad the hookers pay people to stay away from them.

My neighborhood is so bad the police are by appointment only.

My neighborhood is so bad the dentist buys his teeth on the street.

My neighborhood is so bad the Big Macs Meow when you bite them

My neighborhood is so bad charity groups drive thru and put tires ON cars.

My neighborhood is so bad the Pizza guy drives a tank.

My neighborhood is so bad my landlord mails ME money.

My neighborhood is so bad the beer bar is bullet proof, fire proof and bolted to the ground.

My neighborhood is so bad no one can get any sleep without the sound of broken bottles on the sidewalk.

My neighborhood is so bad Uber sends a city bus.

My neighborhood is so bad you can spot a party house by the bullet holes.

My neighborhood is so bad the roaches have a union.

My neighborhood is so bad the Karaoke bar is named 'Madam Olga's House of Pain'.

My neighborhood is so bad 8th grade graduation is BYOB.

My neighborhood is so bad being middle class is having 4 tires on your car at the same time.

My neighborhood is so bad the 7-11 will rent you the gun you use to rob it.

My neighborhood is so bad the bank gives robbers I.O.U.'s

My neighborhood is so bad everybody's Baby-daddy is everybody's Baby-daddy

My neighborhood is so bad that for every gunshot, somebody says "Oh, Good! I get his parking spot!"
We dance an invisible dance to music they cannot hear.
Steve_Mollett
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Inner circle
Eh, so I've made
3010 Posts

Profile of Steve_Mollett
My neighborhood is so bad, people attend the Church of Satan in hopes of going to Hell.
My neighborhood is so bad, kids on tricycles wear outlaw biker colors.
My neighborhood is so bad, Chuck Norris stays away...TWICE!
My neighborhood is so bad, the local Mafia pays US for protection!
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
- Albert Camus
RogerTheShrubber
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Veteran user
301 Posts

Profile of RogerTheShrubber
My neighborhood was so bad that none of the schools had any chalk in their because the town's entire supply was being used by the cops for outlines.
George Ledo
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Magic Café Columnist
SF Bay Area
2884 Posts

Profile of George Ledo
My neighborhood was so bad that even the local gangs were afraid to go out at night.
That's our departed buddy Burt, aka The Great Burtini, doing his famous Cups and Mice routine
www.georgefledo.net

Latest column: "Sorry about the photos in my posts here"
stoneunhinged
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Inner circle
3079 Posts

Profile of stoneunhinged
My neighborhood was so bad that I got a vasectomy.
slowkneenuh
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Regular user
After 5,167+ posts, only credited with
128 Posts

Profile of slowkneenuh
My neighborhood was so bad Mister Rogers wouldn't visit it.
John

"A poor workman always blames his tools"
The Hermit
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Loyal user
296 Posts

Profile of The Hermit
My neighborhood got hit by a tornado and it left $20 million dollars in improvements.
Michael Rubinstein
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V.I.P.
3947 Posts

Profile of Michael Rubinstein
My neighborhood is so bad that the police station is a drive through
My neighborhood is so bad that in the supermarket,all the cashiers are packin'
My neighborhood is so bad, the girls have to stay home if the boys want to play socker
My neighborhood is so bad, a volunteer at the animal shelter was arrested for aiding and a petting
First edition and reprint of Rubinstein Coin Magic sold out in RECORD TIME! The good news, though, is that I have reprinted the book once again (they are selling like hotcakes!), so there are enough for everyone!! As such, and for the last time, I again have a limited supply of books that I can sign. All come with a special FREE GIFT until supplies are gone, so first come, first serve! To order, be sure to send me an email at rubinsteindvm@aol.com . The books are here and ready to ship!
RUBINSTEIN COIN MAGIC- The biggest book on coin magic since Bobo's Modern Coin Magic, and the most important since David Roth's Expert Coin Magic! Hardbound, 500 pages, 20 chapters of state of the art coin magic illustrated with 930 crisp photos! A contribution chapter from over 20 of the world's top coin magicians! This will be the book against which all future books on coin magic will be measured! Already called a Modern Classic!!
And if anyone (USA ONLY) needs some of the coin stuff used in the book, shoot me an email at rubinsteindvm@aol.com as I have some limited supplies of coins and props used on the book.
Michael Rubinstein
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V.I.P.
3947 Posts

Profile of Michael Rubinstein
My neighborhood is so bad, all the drunks are behind bars
My neighborhood is so bad, the art gallery sells paintings from a con artist
My neighborhood is so bad, that when a cop takes a nap, he is arrested
First edition and reprint of Rubinstein Coin Magic sold out in RECORD TIME! The good news, though, is that I have reprinted the book once again (they are selling like hotcakes!), so there are enough for everyone!! As such, and for the last time, I again have a limited supply of books that I can sign. All come with a special FREE GIFT until supplies are gone, so first come, first serve! To order, be sure to send me an email at rubinsteindvm@aol.com . The books are here and ready to ship!
RUBINSTEIN COIN MAGIC- The biggest book on coin magic since Bobo's Modern Coin Magic, and the most important since David Roth's Expert Coin Magic! Hardbound, 500 pages, 20 chapters of state of the art coin magic illustrated with 930 crisp photos! A contribution chapter from over 20 of the world's top coin magicians! This will be the book against which all future books on coin magic will be measured! Already called a Modern Classic!!
And if anyone (USA ONLY) needs some of the coin stuff used in the book, shoot me an email at rubinsteindvm@aol.com as I have some limited supplies of coins and props used on the book.
Michael Rubinstein
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V.I.P.
3947 Posts

Profile of Michael Rubinstein
My neighborhood is so bad that the police are giving out tickets for shooting while driving....
First edition and reprint of Rubinstein Coin Magic sold out in RECORD TIME! The good news, though, is that I have reprinted the book once again (they are selling like hotcakes!), so there are enough for everyone!! As such, and for the last time, I again have a limited supply of books that I can sign. All come with a special FREE GIFT until supplies are gone, so first come, first serve! To order, be sure to send me an email at rubinsteindvm@aol.com . The books are here and ready to ship!
RUBINSTEIN COIN MAGIC- The biggest book on coin magic since Bobo's Modern Coin Magic, and the most important since David Roth's Expert Coin Magic! Hardbound, 500 pages, 20 chapters of state of the art coin magic illustrated with 930 crisp photos! A contribution chapter from over 20 of the world's top coin magicians! This will be the book against which all future books on coin magic will be measured! Already called a Modern Classic!!
And if anyone (USA ONLY) needs some of the coin stuff used in the book, shoot me an email at rubinsteindvm@aol.com as I have some limited supplies of coins and props used on the book.
landmark
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Inner circle
within a triangle
4912 Posts

Profile of landmark
Quote:
On Sep 15, 2015, slowkneenuh wrote:
My neighborhood was so bad Mister Rogers wouldn't visit it.

My favorite.
Michael Rubinstein
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V.I.P.
3947 Posts

Profile of Michael Rubinstein
I liked that one as well, and changed it a bit...
My neighborhood is so bad that PBS made a show about it called Mr. Robber's Neighborhood. ..
First edition and reprint of Rubinstein Coin Magic sold out in RECORD TIME! The good news, though, is that I have reprinted the book once again (they are selling like hotcakes!), so there are enough for everyone!! As such, and for the last time, I again have a limited supply of books that I can sign. All come with a special FREE GIFT until supplies are gone, so first come, first serve! To order, be sure to send me an email at rubinsteindvm@aol.com . The books are here and ready to ship!
RUBINSTEIN COIN MAGIC- The biggest book on coin magic since Bobo's Modern Coin Magic, and the most important since David Roth's Expert Coin Magic! Hardbound, 500 pages, 20 chapters of state of the art coin magic illustrated with 930 crisp photos! A contribution chapter from over 20 of the world's top coin magicians! This will be the book against which all future books on coin magic will be measured! Already called a Modern Classic!!
And if anyone (USA ONLY) needs some of the coin stuff used in the book, shoot me an email at rubinsteindvm@aol.com as I have some limited supplies of coins and props used on the book.
Michael Rubinstein
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V.I.P.
3947 Posts

Profile of Michael Rubinstein
My neighborhood was so bad that we had friday night services at the funeral parlor...
My neighborhood was so bad that my girlfriend stole my heart....
First edition and reprint of Rubinstein Coin Magic sold out in RECORD TIME! The good news, though, is that I have reprinted the book once again (they are selling like hotcakes!), so there are enough for everyone!! As such, and for the last time, I again have a limited supply of books that I can sign. All come with a special FREE GIFT until supplies are gone, so first come, first serve! To order, be sure to send me an email at rubinsteindvm@aol.com . The books are here and ready to ship!
RUBINSTEIN COIN MAGIC- The biggest book on coin magic since Bobo's Modern Coin Magic, and the most important since David Roth's Expert Coin Magic! Hardbound, 500 pages, 20 chapters of state of the art coin magic illustrated with 930 crisp photos! A contribution chapter from over 20 of the world's top coin magicians! This will be the book against which all future books on coin magic will be measured! Already called a Modern Classic!!
And if anyone (USA ONLY) needs some of the coin stuff used in the book, shoot me an email at rubinsteindvm@aol.com as I have some limited supplies of coins and props used on the book.
Theodore Lawton
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Inner circle
1685 Posts

Profile of Theodore Lawton
My neighborhood is so bad that no one even owns a car, we have to do walk-by shootings.
LobowolfXXX
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Inner circle
La Famiglia
1191 Posts

Profile of LobowolfXXX
My neighborhood was so bad, the Mormons rode Harleys.
"Torture doesn't work" lol
Guess they forgot to tell Bill Buckley.

"...as we reason and love, we are able to hope. And hope enables us to resist those things that would enslave us."
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