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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Women who know their place !! (4 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Magic from A to Z
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Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul,
Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women
customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind
their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the
women are still happy to maintain this old custom.

Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now
seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'

The woman looked MS Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation
and said, 'Land Mines.'


Moral of the story is (no matter what language you speak or where you go):


BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE'S A SMART WOMAN.
Intrepid
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My wife, who is from Japan, often walks behind me down the street. Not because of tradition, but simple because I'm 6'2" and provide her with natural shade from the sun. ;-)
Bob
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Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.
Mary Mowder
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Just like which side of the bed you sleep on, people feel more comfortable walking where they have been used to.

If a couple has not developed the habit of talking while they walk together it might seem awkward to walk together in silence while enduring the stares of passers by.

It might be just a matter of tacitly doing what feels most normal.

-Mary Mowder
mastermindreader
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I don't know, Mary. The landmines seemed like a pretty good reason to me.
Mary Mowder
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LOL.

If so, that sounds pretty Gentlemanly to me. A little mud splash from the passing cars pails in comparison (the men here used to walk on the side toward the street).

-Mary Mowder
mastermindreader
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I'm often surprised when I notice how many men don't do that any more. I was taught to walk on the outside when I was still a kid, along with holding doors and car door, pulling out chairs, standing when a woman enters the room, etc.

I guess manners are just a thing of the past.
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Here in the south they ain't!
Reality is a real killjoy.
ed rhodes
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Quote:
On Oct 2, 2015, Mary Mowder wrote:
LOL.

If so, that sounds pretty Gentlemanly to me. A little mud splash from the passing cars pails in comparison (the men here used to walk on the side toward the street).

-Mary Mowder


You're right about WHY men walk on the outside, but I think it pre-dates passing cars.
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Kabbalah
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Men walk on the outside so the woman was not in the way in case he had to draw his sword.
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Starrpower
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I live in a neighborhood that has a large East Indian population. The women walk behind their husbands when they take walks through the neighborhood. It looks lonely to me; I like to have a conversation with my wife when we take walks.
mastermindreader
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No- it was to protect them from splashing mud. The sword idea makes no sense since a right handed male wore his sword on his left. If he walked on the outside, on left hand side of the street he'd be MORE likely to slash the woman.
Magnus Eisengrim
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Quote:
On Oct 2, 2015, mastermindreader wrote:
I'm often surprised when I notice how many men don't do that any more. I was taught to walk on the outside when I was still a kid, along with holding doors and car door, pulling out chairs, standing when a woman enters the room, etc.

I guess manners are just a thing of the past.


Standing when a woman enters the room feels a bit antiquated and condescending to me. (And the others may, depending on context.)

Most such manners served the social function of making distinctions and preserving hierarchy (patriarchy in these examples). They also separate insiders from outsiders, as those that "follow the code" vs. "those who were raised as others".

Treating all people as equals is easy to say, but there are numerous tensions between traditional "manners" and contemporary respect.

And I don't know about you, but the title of this thread gives me the heebie-jeebies, even if it is intended to be ironic.
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats
balducci
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Quote:
On Oct 1, 2015, Magic from A to Z wrote:
Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul,
Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women
customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind
their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the
women are still happy to maintain this old custom.

Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now
seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'

The woman looked MS Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation
and said, 'Land Mines.'

Moral of the story is (no matter what language you speak or where you go):

BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE'S A SMART WOMAN.

Hate to ruin the fun, but:

http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/landmine.asp

There are also some variations of the story at the link above.
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S2000magician
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On Oct 4, 2015, balducci wrote:
Hate to ruin the fun, but:

http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/landmine.asp

There are also some variations of the story at the link above.

Buzzkill.
Magnus Eisengrim
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As Oedipus said: "How horrible truth can be, when there's no help in truth."

'Course, he suffered from a bit more than buzzkill that day.
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats
mastermindreader
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Quote:
On Oct 4, 2015, Magnus Eisengrim wrote:
Quote:
On Oct 2, 2015, mastermindreader wrote:
I'm often surprised when I notice how many men don't do that any more. I was taught to walk on the outside when I was still a kid, along with holding doors and car door, pulling out chairs, standing when a woman enters the room, etc.

I guess manners are just a thing of the past.


Standing when a woman enters the room feels a bit antiquated and condescending to me. (And the others may, depending on context.)

Most such manners served the social function of making distinctions and preserving hierarchy (patriarchy in these examples). They also separate insiders from outsiders, as those that "follow the code" vs. "those who were raised as others".

Treating all people as equals is easy to say, but there are numerous tensions between traditional "manners" and contemporary respect.

And I don't know about you, but the title of this thread gives me the heebie-jeebies, even if it is intended to be ironic.


I disagree. It's simply a show of respect as far as I'm concerned. I do the same things for my elders. No one every called me condescending simply because I try to be polite.
mastermindreader
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Quote:
On Oct 4, 2015, balducci wrote:

Hate to ruin the fun, but:

http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/landmine.asp

There are also some variations of the story at the link above.


I think most of us knew that it was a joke.
The Hermit
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On Oct 3, 2015, Kabbalah wrote:
Men walk on the outside so the woman was not in the way in case he had to draw his sword.



I think it was so there were no obstructions when they decided to run away.
The Hermit
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Quote:
On Oct 2, 2015, mastermindreader wrote:
I'm often surprised when I notice how many men don't do that any more. I was taught to walk on the outside when I was still a kid, along with holding doors and car door, pulling out chairs, standing when a woman enters the room, etc.

I guess manners are just a thing of the past.


OK the car door thing gets me. I go a lot of places with my girlfriend. Am I supposed to open the car door all the time or just on special occasions. My GF has brought this up. I would be opening and closing the car door twenty times a day.

Being an all people equal guy, I say you can open the car door. Building doors yes. I do that for everybody including her. I think the car door thing should go away as judgement of manners. Standing when a women enters the room - I can go either way. If someone I don't know or a business/important social event - yes. My girlfriend's friend comes into the den, no.

Am I uncouth?
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