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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Looking for advic/experience (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

Cliffg37
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Inner circle
Long Beach, CA
2485 Posts

Profile of Cliffg37
This is a very complex issue I am stuck with.. Read all the facts and see if you can be of any assistance... While kind words are nice of course, I really am looking for advice.

Here are the facts.

1. I live in Southern California, I moved here from New York in 1987.
2. I have only 1 living relative still in New York, my 74 year old aunt.
3. My grandfather (her dad) died in 1979 my grandmother (her mom) died 4 years ago. My mother passed away in 2007.
4. My aunt was never daignosed as schitzophrenic (high functioning) but has been on disability and not worked in over 20 years and has some form of disconective mental issue.
5. She is diabetic (type II) but requires insulin injections which she can not give herself.
6. She has medicaid funded assisants come to visit her to help her cook clean, and see to her medical needs
7. She is taken to wound care for severe swelling in her legs twice a month.
8. She is now in the hospital to tend to her needs as the assistant will no longer enter her condo due to the claim of bed bugs.
9. Whether true about the bugs or not, the condo needs serious repair and TLC.
10. I have NO power or attorney, or any other claim over the appartment or my Aunt. Yet, as her only living blood relative, I get the call when she needs help.
11. I can not afford to fly back and forth to New York. (Once or twice sure, but not repeatedly)
12. My dream situation would be to have her get the appartment taken care of, have it cleaned out, sell it and move to california to be in an assisted living situation close enough for me to be involved if needed.
13. She is not capable of seeing to the apartment on her own. and she may nothave the funds to do it either. The owner wants to evict her for healt violations (the bed bugs)
14. No clue what to do or how to do it.
15. Remember her mental disconnect. Talking to her often yield fruitless or unexpected results. Rarely rational ones.

This situation sucks.
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rockwall
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Special user
762 Posts

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Talk to a lawyer.
I would think that you might be able to get guardianship so that you can make decisions for her without trying to get rational input from her.

You're right. It sucks. Best of luck.
balducci
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Canada
230 Posts

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Quote:
On Oct 15, 2015, Cliffg37 wrote:

12. My dream situation would be to have her get the appartment taken care of, have it cleaned out, sell it and move to california to be in an assisted living situation close enough for me to be involved if needed.
13. She is not capable of seeing to the apartment on her own. and she may nothave the funds to do it either. The owner wants to evict her for healt violations (the bed bugs)

12 ( think) talks about her selling the apartment.

13 mentions someone else owning the apartment and wanting to evict her.

So does she own it or rent it? Perhaps in 12 you were talking about selling the contents?

We had a situation really much like the one you described in my family, but my sister was able to get power of attorney. And in our case, the aunt had / has enough money to look after her needs and my sister's expenses. So my sister can fly back and forth (between the States and Canada) frequently enough.

I really don't know, but it seems to me power of attorney is what you need. I think you can file for it if she is mentally incompetent. But no doubt this varies by state.

So I would also suggest talking to a lawyer.
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TonyB2009
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Inner circle
5006 Posts

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I am with the other responders. Talk to an attorney about power of attorney. We had to do it for my father. We never needed to exercise it because he died before dementia took him, but we were ready. If you have power of attorney your aunt might just agree to do as you say, without you ever having to get heavy about it.

Best of luck with it, and my thoughts are with you.
JoeJoe
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Inner circle
Myrtle Beach
1910 Posts

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The landlord wants her out, you want her in California ... whats the problem?? Just move her already.

-JoeJoe
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jstreiff
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702 Posts

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I have been through this myself, although not so dire a situation. And I recently attended an Estate Planning seminar which touched on situations almost identical to those described here.

The issues you face are complex; you cannot do this yourself, as you may have suspected. I would also suggest seeking out a lawyer who is an expert in estate planning. Be sure the lawyer is fully versed in New York State law. One thing that was stressed in the seminar, presented by such a lawyer, is that states differ widely in their respective laws in this area: one size does not fit all.

You will need to address advanced medical directives and power of attorney issues at minimum.

Perhaps the most important thing to say is that, contrary to what you are probably feeling right now, you will get through it. Stay focused on the end game and try to avoid other distractions. Best of luck to you!
John
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