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Peter Marucci
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Inner circle
5389 Posts

Profile of Peter Marucci
Just what is a magnesia? And how do you milk it?
And if you mix vodka and prune juice, do you get a Piledriver?
Peter Marucci
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Regular user
178 Posts

Profile of thinkofacard
If cats always land on their feet, what happens if you glue two cats together by their feet and chuck 'em out the window?

Will they never hit the ground and just spin ad infinitum?????


If you can't stand the blood, get out of the slaughterhouse!
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Special user
England - Sunderland
587 Posts

Profile of wayman
Why is silence deafening?

I wouldn't be paranoid if people would quit following me!

If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous

People have one thing in common: they are all different.

He lived his life to the end

For Sale: Man's suit, perfect fit.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not sure.

Young Man: Why do philosophers ask so many questions?
Old Philosopher: Why shouldn't philosophers ask so many questions?

"Have you lived in this village all your life?"
"No, not yet."

"Who is the oldest inhabitant of this village?"
"We haven't got one; we had one, but he died three weeks ago."

"Hey, Trixie, what's your earliest memory?"
"Umm... I don't remember!"

I tripped over a hole that was sticking up out of the ground.

Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.

A hospital is no place to be sick.

Our comedies are not to be laughed at.

I can give you a definite perhaps.

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

listen to me slowly

I paid too much for it, but its worth it.

Gentlemen, for your information, I have a question to ask you.

I read part of it all the way through.
Peter Marucci
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Inner circle
5389 Posts

Profile of Peter Marucci
Q: "What's the death rate in this town?"
A: "Same as anywhere else -- one per person."
Peter Marucci
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Inner circle
Yorktown, Virginia (Previously Germany)
1579 Posts

Profile of RiffClown
If you throw a cat from a car window, does it become Kitty Litter?
Rob "Riff, the Magical Clown" Eubank aka RiffClown
<BR>Magic is not the method, but the presentation.
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40 Posts

Profile of Missy_Magic
It has taken me 20 mins to post this reply. It just doesn't load! Anywayz...Thought you might like these. I found them somewhere one the net some time ago:)

1) Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
2) In case of an emergency: Break glass, scream, bleed to death!
3) For people who like peace and quiet: A phone-less cord
4) Out of my mind…be back in 5 mins
5) In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday
6) If you can't convince them, confuse them!
7) Take my advice- I don't use it anyway
8) The trick to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss
9) Be alert- the world needs more lerts
10) Never judge a book by its movie
11) Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
12) Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
13) If the shoe fits, get another one just like it
14) -e-I-e-I-o is actually a grose misspelling of the word "farm"
15) Join the army-meet interesting people-kill them
16) Always remember- three out of four people make up 75% of the population.
17) Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter.
18) There are only three kinds of people. Those who can count and those who can't.
19) No Jesus, No Peace-Know Jesus, Know Peace
20) Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
21) If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same pair of socks for two weeks
22) Some people are going to leave mark on this earth. Others will leave a stain.
23) If you can smile when things go wrong you have someone else in mind to blame.
24) Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their own level and then beat you with experience.
25) My opinions may have changed but not the fact that I am right.
26) To talk without thinking is to shoot without aiming.
27) Nothing Is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
28) If I had some ham, we could have ham and eggs if I has some eggs.
29) Robin: "Holy Kleenex, Batman! It was right under our nose and we blew it!
30) Having a smoking section In a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool.
31) It IS as bad as you think it is and they ARE out to get you.

with waaaay tooo much time on her hands...
--->Email me<---
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