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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » The side walk shuffle » » The Jokes Write Themselves. (3 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

gallagher
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Inner circle
1042 Posts

Profile of gallagher
As Street Performers,
we're pretty close to the bone.

Our Audiences consist of:
,those who would like to see us.
,those who do not want to see us.
,those who don't know WHAT they want.
It can be honestly said:
No one PLANNED to see us.

Sometimes we turn 'em on.
Sometimes we turn 'em off.
Sometimes,
..WE get turned and twisted.

Our sold 'comes',
just before our Audience 'goes'.

The weather,..a roulette wheel.

Our 'team mates':
sometimes supportive,
...sometimes deportive.
When we're 'off',
we stand alone.

As hard as we struggle,
it remains,
...a struggle.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . * . . . . .

We've been struggling a bit, lately.
The winds, the rains, the cold,..
Parking-spots vanishing,..
Christmas-markets appearing,...taking Pitches.
The 'Consume-Typhon-Monsun' gathering strength...

The Polizei knocked on our waggon:
"Someone has complained that you are parking in a 'bus parking spot'.
You will have to move."

They had to swallow, themselves, as they told us that.
It was 1 o'clock in the morning.
,...Sunday morning.

"öK."

Having enough,
of 'the Streets' having enough of us(!),
we packed up,..
and drove two or three miles outside of towne,
..to a quiet street,
with four or five buildings.

Solitude and Quiet.
We slept.

Sun..day, we woke up, late;
...took the dog, for a walk.
Once around the waggon,
we saw, we'd driven a flat.
https://flic.kr/p/2aqVpGJ
{This year, we never tired of flat tyres!}

After walking our round,
I jacked the waggon.
..pulled the wheel.
...popped the rim-ring.
....slid the tyre off.
.....and looked at the torn tube.
We needed a new tube.
On a Sunday, no chance.
https://flic.kr/p/2c6p3qN

We realised,
the best thing to do,
would be to let the waggon 'float',
....go back inside.
..eat spegetti.
And go to bed.

We managed pretty well!
By 8 o'clock, we were rolling in the hay.

At about 9 o'clock:
"I think I hear a trumpet."

"I HEAR a trumpet. Like,..right next to us!..!"
Monika confirmed my sanity.

"I hear two, three,..four trumpets!"

"I hear four, five,..SIX trumpets. Like,...right next to us!"

(We can never really agree on anything.
,..not even the number of trumpets,
..blowing next to our waggon,
on a Sunday night...)

'Toot'. 'Tooot'. 'Toootooot'.
Not a warm 'tug-boat' toot.
More like a 'Miles-Davis-with-a-Wedgy' toot.
It was nervey!

"Let's just block it out. They can't keep it up for long."
'Monika-the-Wise' assured.

It was re-assuring.
Albeit, completely false.
I drifted off, at about 1 AM,
still hearing the cavalry calling.

The next morning, I woke up,
more tired, then when I'd gone to sleep.
I pulled my pants over my arms,
..hobbled outside,
taking my tired doggie for his morning pull.

Ten steps around the waggon.
I looked up and saw:
'Gebruder Alexander. Brass Instrument Factory' (!).
https://flic.kr/p/2dcoEcH
Trumpets. Trombones. Tubas. Jagd-Horns.

I walked inside.
,...I had to know.

The first guy who saw my dog and I, said:
"You must be the guy parked outside, with the flat tyre."

"How did you guess?"

"You look like you haven't slept all night!"

"How did you guess?"

"If I had a flat tyre, I couldn't have slept either."

"...and with five idiots blowing trumpets ALL night."
I added.

"Idiots!?!
Those are highly trained technicians!
Sunday evenings they test the instruments
produced during the previous week,
..before we package and ship them off, on Mondays.
That's why our factory is here.
We need solitude and quiet."

"Solitude and quiet,..that's what I need, as well.
And an inner-tube."

"I could offer you a Tuba.."

öhhh. That joke was sö bad,
...we both cracked up.

The Streets are mean, hard, ugly, warm, tender, cold, stupid,
slanted, curved,..sad, funny,..
depressing, digesting, contesting,...
close to the bone.

"...a tuba."
Gallagher

p.s.: After I fix the waggon tyre,...
https://flic.kr/p/2dcoEdz
D. Yoder
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Loyal user
296 Posts

Profile of D. Yoder
Just saying, there is a warm bed waiting for the two of you. No tubas in the house, but we do have a piano for playing as long as no one tap dances on it. I could blow on my busking horn at midnight if it helped you to feel at home!
imgic
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Inner circle
Moved to Seattle to see
1058 Posts

Profile of imgic
Herr Gallagher:
Your optimism, your humor
Always a pleasure to read.

I have heard that Mother Cabrini is the unofficial patron saint of parking. Here's a prayer to help with your future travels...

“Mother Cabrini, Mother Cabrini, please find a spot for my little machiney.”
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
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