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Inner circle
old things in new ways - new things in old ways
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Profile of funsway
My recent experience with a new automatic dishwasher may have implications or lessons for those aspiring to learn magic.
I will add some suggestions, but feel free to substitute "magic" for "clean" and "easy to learn" for "convenient and so on.

First off, as a kid we did not have a dishwasher. Everyone gather at the sink after dinner and got the job done with joy and dispatch - sort of.
A sink was not a "dirty pot closet" and many pots were washed "on the fly" as their need expired. Few dishes were needed for large family.

Later on my parents got a dishwasher that lasted 37 years without repair. True, some dishes were still washed by hand, especially "fine China"
that were not risked in a mechanical contrivance. When I got my first house it had a dishwasher already installed as an expected appliance.

The point being that the concepts of convenient and clean have changed over the years, but so has 'reliability." In various houses I have installed several dishwashers,
each more expensive than the last and claiming amazing new 'magical' features. None speak about the loss of magic of having families dine together and do chores together ...

My old machine (6 years) quit producing the desired results. The biggest problem is that the detergents one is allowed to buy don't clean anything. Another is the junk in the water I am required to buy
even though I have a spring on the property. A third is that the machine started falling apart as soon as the warranty expired. Regardless, my spouse decide we need a new, top of the line model.

With only two of us now all dishes could be washed by hand in 5 minutes, but that is another matter. "What if Covid ends and we have company again?" I count my blessings!

So, I check out the latest-greatest at the local magic store -- I mean Home Depot/Lowes. For an amount greater than my SS check I can get a wondrous device with many features
useful to others "by popular demand and survey." Right! Here is some of what I found by way of "amazing."

FUNCTIONALITY: It has two spray bars to clog up instead of one, but I guess there is better water dispersion. There is a convenient removable utensil basket that means it can sit on the kitchen
table instead of putting the silver away. AND - it is suggested that I use special additives. This means that the claimed "superior clean" does not come form the machine, but that I recreate the old detergent
that actually worked for years. It is super quiet, I will agree - with two nee problems. I now get requests to see if the machine is running or is done yet, usually during a time I am practicing magic. The second is the ability to use my cell phone to turn the machine on from a distance. Why? So that I ma not disturbed by the noise when home. Say what? Get your hype straight you guys. The only advantage is that a burglar can hack my phone and know when I am not home, but my refrigerator already told them that. It is true I can finance this "essential appliance" for 18 months at no interest. That is magic of a sorts, I guess.

RELIABILITY: It is "built to last" but I am supposed to purchase an extended warranty. (tip from the pros). BUT - read the fine print. If I install it myself the warranty is void! By code a dishwasher has to be "hardwired." This means you can't do coins across using sleights, you need a gimmick - I mean that using a pair of pliers and knowing where the breaker box is are lost arts of the seer, or something. Actually, it is all about insurance and who gets sued for another person's incompetence. Ah - by reading the right magic book I discover that more than 94% of the machine failure comes from power surges that destroy the "magic" circuit board. For $25 dollars you can get surge protector that accomplishes two astonishing things at once: First, use of this device gets around the "hardwired" Code restriction - you just run a heavy plug cord from the machine to the protector. Hide it though so that your electrician friend doesn't get upset. See, this protector comes with a life-time warranty that protects the attached appliance from electronic failure. Yup, if lightning strikes I get a new dishwasher!

CLEAN: this is a relative concept and I question how some engineer or marketer can determine what I think is magic, er clean. No, a standard set by strangers on FaceBook decide that, even those who only eat TV dinners. I can imagine that the higher heat of a dishwasher can produce a more sterile type of stuck on globs than hand washing (pre-scubbing recommended), but about the three days the dirty dishes sat in the machine
waiting for enough to accumulate to justify the running of same. (How many people make an audience worthy of efforts?) (Do they appreciate magic or have never seen a live performance before?)

Enough! The new machine is in and works. The additives to make it clean properly cost more than the daily cost of the machine. The added electric cost is offset by the snuggy togetherness of my wife and I washing pots by hand that the machine does not like. I have to wash my fine knives by hand anyway - the ones I use to make magic dishes not found in recipe books. My new magic magnetic resonance cooker requires cast iron pots that can't go in there either.

Well, maybe for you beginners buy a new magic trick based on the hype or advice of others, consider what you are trying to accomplish and who your audience is and if they want home cooking or frozen taquitos.
"the more one pretends at magic, the more awe and wonder will be found in real life." Arnold Furst

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Regular user
Western Wisconsin, USA, Earth
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Profile of dustrod
Thanks Funsway. Very good!
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Special user
Livermore, CA
524 Posts

Profile of Boomer
Dishwashers also are rated by how noisy they are.

Nobody likes a top change that you can hear in a crowded bar.

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Regular user
131 Posts

Profile of The_Mediocre_Gatsby
If you want to become a better performer, read all the posts by Funsway and Thomas Henry. Great stuff.
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