Is it this mindset you use?

What I find annoying is when a magician (mostly younger magicians) performs an effect or an entire act and are told how good they were or how well they performed when in reality it was pretty bad or was really lacking. I'd much rather tell the magician, tactfully, but honestly, how bad they were or how they should have performed.
Bottom line is I think it's much more beneficial to the magician to tell it like it is in an effort to allow them improve.

Improvement is the goal, or at least I believe it should be.

I will never give unsolicited advice after seeing any show. As a matter of fact I will hardly give any at all even if asked after seeing a show. Mainly because I get paid to direct and create and simply don’t do it for free.

Most who complain about not being told “nice” have no real ambition to learn the truth. The truth is not nice or not nice, it is what it is. Yes it can be presented as Dave said tactfully, but it knows no tone. Most don’t like it because it is very tough to hear that something you have worked SO HARD on is just not what you thought it was. Artists get defensive. But the fact is if you really want to improve and grow as an artist you will have to deal with the truth no matter how it is told to you. In fact it is MUCH easier to hear it a bit harsh, than to hear it from an audience in one way or the other. Meaning either they will tell you during the show with lack of response (If you’re lucky.) or they will vote with their wallet and simply not show up at all. Starving hurts far worse than hearing the truth.

Getting into your own feelings about it should never really enter the equation. Get over it and move forward. Don’t bring your feelings to the learning process.

I agree with that totally Dave. It's probably one of the main reasons why I've never had much time for 'Magic Clubs'.

As a kid, my handling would get torn to pieces at times by Bobby Bernard. I could 'man up' though, take it on the chin, put the effort in and then get it right. These days, kids would probably need therapy sessions and suffer from anxiety for the rest of their lives.

However, let me relate a story, about giving advice to youngsters, that I originally posted on a (now almost defunct) UK magic forum......

I'm reminded of an incident about 20 years ago, at a particular one-day convention in Haywards Heath. Whilst chatting to a guy I knew, a young lad (early teens), who was attending along with his Mother but who also knew my friend, came to show us some card tricks. He was using a Tally Ho Poker deck. After an absolutely dire botched and bungled attempt at Twisting The Aces, I politely (honest!) suggested that maybe he should try and use Bridge-size cards, as he was clearly struggling with his handling. Thereupon, I received an absolute tirade of abuse from the Mother - for not being amazed at what her 'talented little angel' had just done - and "what did I know anyway"! My/our mutual friend looked highly embarrassed - but for me.....it was the highlight of the bloody day!