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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Political Season (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

The Great Zambini
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36 Posts

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With the political season approaching as well as the winding down of the baseball season:

A Republican is a person who was born on third base and thinks he hit a triple

Not original by me.
...Simply Amazing!
THE GREAT ZAMBINI
Curtis Kam
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V.I.P.
same as you, plus 3 and enough to make
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Anyone else doing the "11 Card trick" as the "Arthur Anderson audit?" The obvious choice would be Fred Kaps' bill counting routine, but I do it with cards, saying "that's the first secret. We don't count actual money--anyone could check that--this (holding up the card) represents one share. You, as the CEO, waddle up to the corporate trough and demand your bonus of 11 shares.--we'll just call you George W., to protect your real identity..."

You get the idea. Any other sugestions?
Is THAT a PALMS OF STEEL 5 Banner I see? YARRRRGH! Please visit The Magic Bakery
Codex Reader
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Here are a few current political chicken crossing jokes I wrote last night.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Democratic Congress: Well of course the chicken has crossed the road, but what about the economy?

GW Bush: The Chicken is part of the evil axis and must be accountable for its action. We will hunt down this evil chicken on every road side in the world.
In the mean time, we have frozen the Tyson Chicken Banking Accounts.

The UN: We are inspecting the road now to see if the Chicken has continued to cross in direct violation of our past resolutions, if the chicken is in violation, we will put a stop to it with our 4000th chicken stopping resolution.

Barbara Striesand's political advisor:
Dear Mr. Chikin,

As you know, Barbara supports your right to cross the road with her music profits, but Barbara thinks that you need to reject the Republican push to cross the road and instead, learn to fly. Barbara thinks you would also look better with a larger beak like hers. If you have any questions about our suggestions please call me, I will relay any message to Barbara.
Bird Brain
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Lol!

Let me add Ralph Nader! (By the way, I'm an environmental activist, i.e; Nader fan, so I'm poking fun at myself here.)

Nader on the age old question of "Why did the Chicken cross the road":

The Chicken was FORCED to cross the road due to the destruction of it's native habitat by greedy developers and corporations, but the chicken never made it to the other side of the road, because it was crushed by a speeding, gas guzzling SUV.

LOL!

This is really fun...

How about Ozzy Osbourne?

"The @@!$# chicken tried to @#%! the @#!% road because $!#$^@ well....#$@!%!@...I don't @#!%# know....#!@%!#!"

Oprah

"Here's a story of a chicken who tried to cross a road...coming up next"

Florida in 2000

"Wait......Just HOW many chickens crossed the road? Are you sure it wasn't a duck?"

David Blaine

"Wait....................Can I show you somthing?.............If this chicken here.......yeah.....the chicken............"

Sorry.....I got carried away! Lol!

5150,
Bird Brain
Yes I know my enemies
They're the teachers who taught me to fight me
Compromise, conformity, assimilation, submission
Ignorance, hypocrisy, brutality, the elite
All of which are American Dreams, All of which are American Dreams
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