Hey guys
My best friend has been suffering from depression roughly for the last 3 months. He's gone really anti-social and has lost his talent of the gift of the gab. He is afraid to speak up out loud. It's real sad too see because he has always been such a great talker and was definitely one of the funnier guys among my friends.

His eye contact gives his sickness away instantly to new aquiantances which I think makes it hard on him as everyone tries to help him out in a subliminal way, which I can see is effecting him. Where he hides further into his shell.

He's been without a job for a year now and is also 19 years old.

Me and my mates have tried everything, nothing seems to enlighted his spirits though. He talks in a mono-tone fasion with an expressionless face. It hurts me too see somebody so talented lose it all and worse.

I've got to the stage where I don't know what to do..

Has anybody got any advice..anybody faced any similar situations? What was the final outcome?

I would really appreciate as many replies as possible. I Thankyou in advance.

Kind Regards
Sam Griffin.

My wife and I suffer from depression (in her case, it is doubled with PTSD) and the VERY best thing one can do is GET HIM TO A DOCTOR. This disease (and it is a disease) can be treated. It takes time, and no two cases are quite alike. But untreated, this becomes a dangerous - even fatal - illness.

Of course, it's possible that, with no expression and a monotone voice, he's imitating Blaine.

*jeep!
--Chet

I agree....get him to a doctor ASAP! I, too suffer from depression, and I am on medication for it. People who don't know that I'm on the medication can't believe I do indeed suffer from depression when they find out. It is a treatable disease, but it can also lead to disaster if left untreated! I was off my meds for about six months (doctor recommended), and I had one of the worst spells I have ever had. I had enough sense to get back to the doctor who immediately put me back on the meds. Best thing I ever could have done! So, get your friend to a doctor as soon as you can!

Margarette

Thanks for the replies
I've hinted the idea of seeing a doctor, although it was very obvious in his reply that he wouldn't go to one. I think he believes he can fight it by himself, just staying at home and not socializing until he is better.

When he does come out, He struggles in conversations but tried really hard to be the person he was before. More and more people are reconizing the state of depression he is in. This I believe is holding him back from giving it his all. As the change would be reconizable. He definitely has the potential to change, I think he's just scared to.

The thing is..Why would he be scared to give it his all, when he knows he is capable of doing just that. If he tried, He'd win. He's just scared..and I don't know why.

As a psychotherapist I can assure you that if your friend is clinically depressed he needs immediate care. The condition is highly treatable--usually with brief counseling and anti-depressants--and it is foolish to deny oneself the benefits of therapy.

The biggest problem with depression (or with PTSD, for that matter) is that the very nature of the disease causes you to want no contact --- ESPECIALLY with doctors. Until you've experienced it, you can have no idea of how it feels to be motivated by what you know (yes, even when you're in the middle of it, you KNOW) to be irrational feelings.

*jeep!
--Chet

Not knowing much about the Australian medical system, I would encourage your friend to find a qualified Naturopathic Doctor (N.D., here in the States) who has treated (successfully) individuals who have depression. One of my colleagues, C. Norman Shealy, M.D., Ph.D., is a Harvard-trained neurosurgeon and the founder of the American HOlistic Medical Association. He has written some very interesting pieces on depression in his book, 'Miracles Do Happen'. If you can pick up a copy, do so. In this book, he discusses ways in which depression can be helped through a combination of dietary changes, vitamin and food supplements, exercise, etc. In his clinic in Missouri, he has successfully helped literally tens of thousands of individuals who suffered from depression over the past three decades. He also has out an excellent book called The Self-Healing Workbook (I think it has been re-titled in its most recent reprinting as '90 Days to Stress-Free Living'), which provides a detailed view of effective alternative treatments for depression. You can find out more about Dr. Shealy at http://www.selfhealthsystems.com. Best of luck!

I'm not gonna trivialize somebody elses problem by simply stating that depression can be treated. Any treatment will need some positive input (or challenges) and as mentioned above, some knowlegable stable contact that can monitor changes in condition. Yes it's a serious condition. It's much more interesting to feel all the stuff in life, the bad and the good.

Unfortunatly, 1 in 3 (I think) people get a mental illness at some point in their life and depression is one of the more common.
It is a horrible state to be and and it realy is best to try and get help.
try not to make any negative comments about your friends behaviour, this will make it worse.

Regards
Steve

I am a therapist also and have treated hundreds of people with depression. Talk therapy is often helpful, sometimes supplemented with anti-depressant medication. Don't let your friend be scared off by horror stories about medication. A little Prozac can be a good thing, and it can possibly save a life.

I have found that exercise can also be helpful in alleviating depression, in addition to eating well and minimizing the use of harmful substances such as drugs and alcohol. Your friendship is probably one of the most important factors in helping your friend. People who are depressed tend to avoid their friends and may push people away. It is very important to hang in there with them and let them know you are on their side, even it seems they don't want anything to do with you. Knowing that people still care and are going to hang in there with you can make a huge difference to the depressed person.

My thoughts and prayers are with your friend. I hope that they are able to come out the other side of their depression and get back into life.

Bill

I'm just glad he has friends like you who are looking after him. Like the other members I would seek professional help and reassure him that he doesn't have to go through this on his own.

Good luck and and lots of love from the Café,

Dizzy

Yep, stick in there with him.

EXERCISE is one of the best natural treatments.It realeases a chemical in your brain which produces confidence.

I go for about 45 mins of exercise (jogging,push and sit ups e.t.c) and after wards,even though a little exhausted it does make you feel better about your self.

On a regular basis I'm sure it will help.

Go exercising or to the gym TOGETHER.

Hope this helps

I had a major bout with depression when my father passed away, and another when my mother passed. I went through the same thing several years ago when I was unsuccessfully making the transition from one kind of performing to another.

I'm fine now.

There are several things that need to be done. One is that you must get some kind of appropriate medical treatment for your friend. You can't hint at it. You have to physically drag his posterior over to a doctor and let the doc do his job.

He will also need good support from people who understand his problem, i.e. other people with depression. This did me more good than any of the meds I took.

Most importantly, monitor his behavior when he goes on ANY treatment for depression. Every case is different. Some people react very strangely to treatment that works fine for others.

We just lost the librarian of our magic club to an inadequately treated case of depression.

HI
I had very severe depression which lasted over a year.. help is the best medicine and to be there for them. If thy treat you like dir put up with it because they can't hepl always control the way they treat others and when they get better they'll want a friend to laugh with gain.

Things may be rough but just HANG in there

You should advise your friend to see a councelor.He could just be having a chemical inbalance.Talk to him about how he used to be and the way he is now and remind him how funny or happy he used to be.If he needs motivation be right there next to him to get him motivated.Also try to spend an entire day with him and see how his moods change and what hes doing with his day to better himself.Ive heard a lot of good things about the anti-depressant PAXIL so be a friend and hold his hand through the whole thing.

Having depression is not fun. I don't go out anymore or do the things that I used to like. I used to go to the movies, see wrestling shows, see magic shows but all I want to do is stay home. At night I used to watch televion late but I just sit in a quiet room. I used to like to listen to the radio but I really don't listen unless I have to get to sleep. Since I have no health insurance I can't see a doctor. I have been wondering about why I am here and have thought about suicide a few times. The only thing that has helped me is religion. The truth is if I didn't believe in hell then I would more than likely be gone by now. So get your friend to a doctor, if he can't afford one take up a collection. DO NO END UP LIKE ME!!!!!

I am disturbed by jwebyra's posting.

You should get help regardless of your financial circumstances.

I see that you live in NJ where every person has access to mental health services that are free or nearly so. However, these agencies won't come looking for you, you will have to exercize the initiative to call them and make an appointment. You need to, and I hope you will.

Depression is highly treatable and life is too short to spend it sitting in the
dark, feeling sorry for oneself. Please pick up the 'phone now.

Best wishes.

Ed Hutchison

For anyone suffering from depression, yes, they should seek medical help. It saved my life about 10 years ago.I'd also reccomend reading everything they can get their hands on about it. Suicidal thoughts are one of the major symptoms; other symptoms include rapid change in weight, and a strange symptom called anhedonia (lack of ability to have pleasure), so don't delay actively seeking medical help. I'm really glad that the magic community has come together over this.

I was glad to find this thread.

I have it too, on occasions...

Counselling worked for me. Medication helped a bit too.
Close friends also helped - who simply gave me company, and expected nothing from me. That's important.

Saying 'cheer up, pull yourself together, does not help'. Knowing there are fellow sufferers is a comfort.

Best wishes,

Piers.

Finding a good support group can help immensely. Before I pulled out of my depression, I was a member of a manic-depressive support group. They are particularly helpful if they are no-B.S. individuals who will tell you the way things really are.

We had one member who used to let his kid walk all over him at the meetings. It was like the kid knew all the buttons to push, and we could watch him push them. It took a bit of "pointing out" to him to make him aware of what was going on, but once he knew, the kid admitted that we were right, and he stopped trying to be so controlling. He was gooood at it, too.